Hi guys,
I'm new here! I thought I had everything under control (I know, I know) but now find I need the support of a community.
I'm a very busy woman who works a lot. It has been over a year since my 5 year relationship ended and I wanted to start dating again.
I opened a Tinder and met a great poly guy. His relationship was at the 5 year mark and they had opened the month before. I researched and asked all the questions and they seemed to be doing everything the correct way. I'm an extreme researcher.
We've been dating for three months and everything is amazing. There is some reservation because of the primary relationship but I was perfectly happy being a second. He also has another second that's more casual that he sees less often.
About 3 weeks ago his primary left him and he's in transition moving out of their home. Since then, without the reservations our feelings for each other have grown I definitely began dating him because there were no strings but now I find myself wanting those strings.
Caveat, I'm monogamous and he saw the casual girl last night and I had some intense feelings. Especially when he didn't come home and has marks on his body from sex.
We definitely haven't added strings but we have added time and I do feel like a primary. We have decided to fluid bond and we're doing that exclusively with each other. And I should say he cares deeply about my feelings and is very gentle with me and endlessly patient with my questions and angst.
He says everything is open to discussion, and he has had a hard time being poly because he feels he is always hurting someone.
Honestly, I think the change in relationship is just new and I'm unsure how to proceed. I definitely need advice from more seasoned folks here.
Thank you so much in advance for your help!
I'm new here! I thought I had everything under control (I know, I know) but now find I need the support of a community.
I'm a very busy woman who works a lot. It has been over a year since my 5 year relationship ended and I wanted to start dating again.
I opened a Tinder and met a great poly guy. His relationship was at the 5 year mark and they had opened the month before. I researched and asked all the questions and they seemed to be doing everything the correct way. I'm an extreme researcher.
We've been dating for three months and everything is amazing. There is some reservation because of the primary relationship but I was perfectly happy being a second. He also has another second that's more casual that he sees less often.
About 3 weeks ago his primary left him and he's in transition moving out of their home. Since then, without the reservations our feelings for each other have grown I definitely began dating him because there were no strings but now I find myself wanting those strings.
Caveat, I'm monogamous and he saw the casual girl last night and I had some intense feelings. Especially when he didn't come home and has marks on his body from sex.
We definitely haven't added strings but we have added time and I do feel like a primary. We have decided to fluid bond and we're doing that exclusively with each other. And I should say he cares deeply about my feelings and is very gentle with me and endlessly patient with my questions and angst.
He says everything is open to discussion, and he has had a hard time being poly because he feels he is always hurting someone.
Honestly, I think the change in relationship is just new and I'm unsure how to proceed. I definitely need advice from more seasoned folks here.
Thank you so much in advance for your help!
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