Well, it seems like PunkRock and I don't have any shot at all at a date this weekend or next week, so I am bummed about that. I had two activities lined up for today, a tea party with my friends and visiting DarkKnight's dad for Father's Day, while PunkRock went to see his brother at rehab, and then go check on his brother's house. Unfortunately, the tea got rescheduled and DarkKnight's dad was feeling ill, so that go cancelled too. So, DarkKnight was once again able to take advantage and we had a nice romantic lunch together (Cuban paninis) and then did some shopping.
But, well today was shot, and tomorrow PunkRock has already claimed as a painting day, which he really needs since he's been working like crazy. Now I will hopefully be visiting my father in law if he is feeling better, so that works great as far as no one will be left hanging. Still, no time together though.
Monday PunkRock is working another long day while my daughter and I are hiking with friends. Tuesday through Thursday, PunkRock is going to the beach with my daughter and I, but since we are staying in a group house with friends, it is doubtful we will carve out much two-some time.
Ugh. This is stressing me out so much! The only time I have with him is right before falling asleep at night or waking up for sexy times in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I am happy we have that, but it just doesn't resonate as satisfying to me if we can't connect outside of the bedroom. I am starting to feel all jumbled up and weird.
We did get some out and about time at trivia a few nights ago, but that is different, something the 3 of us do together. I want time that is just for US. Sigh. I need all types. We do have a plan to meet at a pizza place for a 3-pack trivia on Monday night, but as much as I know I will enjoy that, it again won't be the same.
Just writing this I feel like a whiny brat. But it's how I feel. I need alone time with DarkKnight, and I need alone time with PunkRock. This week it has been heavily skewed toward DarkKnight, and that has me off kilter too. To be honest, I think it has DarkKnight a little off as well. He is SUCH an introvert, and he went out 3 times with me this week in the evening, which has to be some kind of record. He also went on lunch dates at least 3 times with me. He hasn't really complained, because time with me is awesomesauce,
but I know he is looking forward to having some free time to himself while I am at the beach.
I tried to talk to PunkRock this morning about it, but he just kind of brushed it aside, saying that his bedroom is down the hall now, so clearly I am not just a booty call to him, and surely we can find some time at the beach to be together.
Sigh. I don't think he realizes how much slack DarkKnight has pulled this week. Again, not that DarkKnight doesn't want to spend time with me, but it is not at all even. And part of the draw of me being poly for DarkKnight is that he doesn't have to go out all the time, because I have other options. Except, this week it's just not worked that way. Which stresses me out, because what if this becomes a pattern? This will not make DarkKnight happy, and it doesn't work for me either.
Sigh. I am getting worked up and probably for no reason. It was only one week. One of the things I have loved about dating PunkRockAwesomesauce is that he doesn't lie like M did. He says he will do something, and then it happens. There aren't a shit ton of excuses. He is wonderful on following through. He can't help the fact that this week at work was nutters, and of course he needed to take care of family obligations this weekend - I do too. And he absolutely needs some time to himself as well, so I certainly don't begrudge him his painting time! I can put on my big girl panties and make it through til Tuesday, and hopefully we can go to dinner or something just the two of us while at Rehoboth.
I wanted to write here today as well, that I got hit up this afternoon to go over and do some kinky crap with this one guy. And when I say kinky crap, I mean kinky crap! This is the dude I wrote about a long while ago, that I met at an 80s party, and then later he invited me over to get oral on Christmas Day! Anyway, he wanted to know if I'd be interested in pooping in some underwear he had bought. I died laughing almost, upon reading that text. I don't think there was ever a conversation we had that would lead him to believe I was into scat play! I directed him to FetLife once again. He was cool about it, and said if I ever needed anything, just let him know. He would be willing to do me anally, because he knows I like that.
Seriously. Like, he'd be willing to do that for me, as a friend.
Yeah. I said thanks, no thanks. Sigh.