One of my biggest complaints about the most popular local poly group here in NYC is that they always promote our events to the kink and so-called sex-positive community, but never to mainstream folks. So, for someone who is more vanilla than not, going to the monthly Poly Cocktails event is... uncomfortable, mostly. It doesn't have the kind of vibe that "regular folks" would find appealing, I think. It feels like a kinky meat market. A few months ago, a few guys got naked at the party - this was in a restaurant/lounge! The guests who show up are always talking about FetLife and "play parties." I told this to one of the organizers. I said, "Why doesn't the group promote our events, send speakers, and make our presence known at places like the Society for Ethical Culture or even The Learning Annex? Take part in mainstream workshop/conferences on relationships, etc.? Why just reach out to kink groups and set up a table at a kink event (they did this at some "leather group" street fair) and only leave it at that?"
He told me that maybe a cocktail party is not for me and I should go to the lectures or conventions instead. Now, in my lifetime, I've been to plenty of weeknight cocktail parties for all sorts of groups and no one has ever gotten naked at them before, so why make it my problem for wanting a party that accommodates non-kinksters, too? In my view, if we want mainstream society to accept polyamory as just another choice for relationships and not a kink, we need to "infiltrate" mainstream events where "regular folks" hang out.
I would think the promotion of events to those groups would be because of the overlap between BDSM communities and other sex-positive communities with the poly community.
Frankly its an easy way to get attendance or at least feedback with a audience that already may have a positive or semi-understanding bias.
Speaking as a kinky person, getting naked at a public venue like a lounge/ restaurant is totally unacceptable and completely detrimental to all groups involved. And whichever camp those two guys primary came from surly looks worse for their behaviour.
In another thread I mentioned the quote "
Whatever you do, do so with class" Which are some words I live by.
Yes I am a pervert who's known to play with ropes, floggers, canes, rubber chickens and the like, and I do openly engage in multiple relationships in addition to my marriage, and my religious practices and beliefs are defiantly dark and alien, But -
god damn it- I'm such a
respectable bastard.
Are some of the things I do generally uncommon? yes.
Am I some kind of freakshow? No.
Do the generally uncommon things I engage in seem more acceptable to "mainstream" people because of how I conduct myself otherwise?
well, I've been told they do.
Bringing speakers in, and possibly getting in touch with things like the mentioned "Society for Ethical Culture" and similar organisations isn't a bad idea, seminars of any nature for anything is a great way to get information and education out there, It is however a more difficult task and less likely to draw attendance, which is something anyone organising an event is ultimately focused on.