Polyamory's Image Problem

And how do you make it interesting enough for people to want to watch it? Yeah, those of us on here probably would but are we making it for just people outside of monogamy?

Usually movies have some tragic conflict that twists our emotions and makes us cheer for a hero or cry for some broken heart. What would be the plot that would carry the relationship message?

Has anyone here ever seen "Spendor"? It was a British film, I think, a romantic comedy, and basically about a girl that sort of "accidently" winds up with two guys - or rather, she starts dating them casually about the same time and then doesn't want to break up with either.

Obviously it's imperfect, as far as "accurate representation" goes, but the movie really casts their relationship in an ultimately positive light and I thought it was pretty heartwarming when I saw it.
 
Maybe we could do rallys, protests & putting informative flyers in people's hands & under windshield wipers?? Just a thought..
Blessed be,
Fey
 
Seriously...

I guess I assumed an LGBT paper would do better than a mainstream conservative one...but I was pretty disappointed.

That's depressing. The one place you think would make an attempt to find various types of successful polyamorous relationships to have in their magazine. A place that should be a sanctuary for people of "non mainstream" sexuality & lifestyle, but turns out to be just as bad at portraying reality as any sleezy tabloid...
Well, there you go, why don't the people on here with fulfilling, successful polyamorous relationships, write about the types of people involved & how happy you are being together & request an interview & article in all the "alternative lifestyle" magazines??? That would be a good start, wouldn't it? ESP those of you in families. And tell how fond of the loving family your children are.
Blessed be,
Fey
 
I think the show "Sisterwives" is great for helping the general public to understand polygamy a bit more. I would'nt mind doing one which was more polyamory related though as opposed to "polygamy" related. 6 month long show, an hour each week, showing the differences....and likenesses of a polyamorous relationship vs a regular relationship. The bouts of jealousy and insecurity. The love! The absolute caring and understanding which goes into a poly relationship. This is a show I would record and watch every time....no matter what!
I second that notion!!!
Blessed be,
Fey
 
Most "mainstream" and monogamous people I've spoken with think of free-love hippies, with a touch of egotistical intellectualism--as in "We're smarter/more thoughtful/more communicative/more enlightened than you, so you could never be one of us."

I have met some poly people who are like that, and I often see some judgment cast on monogamous folk, as if they don't question their own choices, or have been oppressed somehow.

Just my impression. :)
Sounds like a prejudice of a sort. I was raised firmly on "don't judge others" & "to each is their own" as my fiance says.."don't knock it til you try it." Hahah
I don't care how self proclaimed perfect, how plastic, how intelligent, how ignorant someone is. It takes love, trust, honesty, communication, & balance for ANY relationship to be successful without misery.
And how can anyone shoot down polyamory when Mormons have been practicing polygamy as a strong part of their culture for how long?! Polyamory is not a bad way of life or stupidity... *ugh* I'm sorry, when I get into a rant, I forget we're are on the same page...
Blessed be,
Fey
 
I am an indie filmmaker and have been thinking of either doing a documentary about poly or taking one of my narrative fiction scripts that I have hanging around, and changing it to incorporate poly. My own screenplays are usually about relationships, and there is one I wrote that could work with such an adjustment. I thought about making it a short, but maybe I'll do a feature. First hurdle for me, though, would be raising the funds to make it. But I just might start the wheels in motion to do it - although that means I'd have to decloak out of anonymity to ask you folks for donations! ;)
Sounds like a great idea! Personally, I love documentaries that are well played out movies with occasional verbal or text narratives. Great luck & have fun!
Blessed be,
Fey
 
Interesting question R2F !

The media of course controls this and WHO controls the media ?

Right now primarily the right wing, conservative camp.

That, right there, is funny. Just about all conservatives I know complain about how liberals control the media. :D
 
And how can anyone shoot down polyamory when Mormons have been practicing polygamy as a strong part of their culture for how long?! Polyamory is not a bad way of life or stupidity... *ugh* I'm sorry, when I get into a rant, I forget we're are on the same page...
Blessed be,
Fey

I'm sorry I have to address this part I italicized. Mormons have not practiced Polygamy for over 100 years. Fundamentalist Mormons (who have been cut off completely from the main stream Mormon church and if they ever were a part of the main stream Mormon church are excommunicated on associating with the Fundamentalist Mormon church) practice Polygamy. And they do so in a mostly manipulative, dangerous, conniving way that I would in no way want to be associated with, even casually (though unfortunately we all will be automatically as society lumps all polyamorists together).

I was raised Mormon and while I am no longer Mormon and I have plenty of issues with the Mormon church I am a firm believer in sharing truth, not lies. There are plenty of things to judge the Mormon church on without judging them based on a splinter sect that they do not associate with. That would be like judging Catholics based on Protestant sects (because the Protestants splintered from the Catholics originally) it just does not make sense.
 
I suppose I should stop wearing the purple mink overcoat and wide-brimmed fedora when I'm on a group date then. ;)
 
Both of those images are far more flattering than how women are portrayed who have multiple partners.

I'd rather be called a pimp than a whore.
 
Do boas really arouse anyone?
They seem to when I do certain burleque numbers at the shows I do. They can be really hot when worn properly and used to entice. Most people just fling the cheap chicken ones around their neck and don't know the potential they have. A really thick boa of anything other than scratchy chicken feathers is luxurious and sensual. Totally arousing!
 
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Most "mainstream" and monogamous people I've spoken with think of free-love hippies, with a touch of egotistical intellectualism--as in "We're smarter/more thoughtful/more communicative/more enlightened than you, so you could never be one of us."

I have met some poly people who are like that, and I often see some judgment cast on monogamous folk, as if they don't question their own choices, or have been oppressed somehow.

Just my impression. :)

So, when I read this I thought about it for a moment. I wouldn't say more enlightened but wouldn't you say we are more free-thinking and understanding? I had a conversation with someone yesterday and they said they believed getting a lap dance at a strip club was cheating. That's maybe a little extreme but my point is we have all kinds of tolerance here. We have polygamy, polyamory, polyandry, swinging (which isn't poly but another whole thing all together) and so many more definitions. We can understand all of these even if we don't agree with them. I find most of my monogamous friends are accepting but not at all understanding. They ask me questions and stare at me blankly when I explain. Then they ask the question a different way. "aren't you jealous? No. Well it doesn't bother you when she's having sex with someone else? No. What if she leaves you for him? Won't happen, but if it did its not because of the sex" etc.

To many monogamists it's cheating. To us it's life. We aren't any better, we are just different. And the issue isn't our lifestyle. There are too many camps for us to ever unify. No, the problem is our honesty. People are liars. They don't like that we accept this because they can't. Think about it. Far more people cheat than practice polygamy. It's just how we are. We are deceitful.
 
Well, they do work well with corsets and fishnets.

They seem to when I do certain burleque numbers at the shows I do. They can be really hot when worn properly and used to entice. Most people just fling the cheap chicken ones around their neck and don't know the potential they have. A really thick boa of anything other than scratchy chicken feathers is luxurious and sensual. Totally arousing!

Valiant boa defenders, unite! I don't know what my issues with boas are, but I really have this odd dislike of them. I love burlesque, but I loathe boas. I may have to look into higher end boas and see if this is unfounded. I love burlesque, fishnets, corsets, and stuff like that.

And, Ivy, I take tremendous offense to that notion, as a proud, insensitive dumbass.
 
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I think that a lot of the problem with people's views of the poly community come from the fact that poly folks are "not like us". Even if you put the relationship stuff aside (which some can't), the poly community tends to have significant numbers of kink folks, SCAers, and pagans as well as the more "hippie" type.

Now I'm saying that any of those are wrong in my eyes, but they all serve to increase the feeling amongst mainstream mono folks that polys "aren't like us".
 
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