RainyGrlJenny's Story

I'm sorry to hear about the break-up. :(

Yay for the apartment though. :) I hope things get better for you all around next year!

Thanks, Mya. :)


What about the chickens???!?!?!!!



(...and congrats on finding an apartment so quickly!)

Fly gets to keep the chickens, since he has the coop and house and all. I dunno how long that will last, because even though he likes to show them off to our friends, he's never shoveled a pile of poop during the entire time we've had them. I'm the one who does all the Work, bought all the books, went to the chicken care classes, he really knows nothing except that the eggs are yummy. I have a feeling he might end up hiring or bartering with someone to care for them, so I hope he at least finds someone knowledgeable. I'm so super sad, but there's not really anything I can do about it. The chickens, the gardens, the apple trees - all the time, energy, money, and love I invested into that home ultimately benefits him, and I just have to walk away from it. Some of my plants are in pots, and I'll take them for my new little patio, but a lot of it just isn't portable. I also had to find a new home for my bunny, which is another loss of something I love.

We told Kiddo the situation last night, and all 3 of us were sad. He got his own cell phone for Christmas, so I'm hoping that will facilitate staying in contact with him, and Fly has told me he won't stand in the way of my relationship with Kiddo.

Time to start packing and purging, because I get the keys to the new place next week!
 
Well, I'm starting to move into my own space, and it feels wonderful. I won't move the furniture until this weekend, but I've been bringing boxes over and eating dinner at the new place (sitting on the floor :rolleyes:). It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to go to the old house anymore. There's nothing bad happening, Fly and I still get along fine in a friendlyish way. I just want to push on with my new reality, and the transition is excruciating. I want to get the move all over with.

Kiddo is having a little bit of a rough time. He started crying the other morning when he saw all the boxes in my car. I'm so very sad that grown-up stuff has caused him pain. I took him with me to the new place, so he could see where I would be living, and we talked about him visiting and using the pool in the summer, that kind of thing. He and I made a New Year's resolution to explore every inch of our local zoo together in 2014.

Moonlight and I have been bickering a bit more than usual lately. I think it's because we're both stressed about big life changes - my breakup and her imminent retirement. She continues to be loving and supportive, however, and I strive to do the same.

I've had a few stormy crying episodes, but overall I continue to feel mostly positive about my whole situation. :cool:
 
At this point, I'm completely moved out and fully living alone with my kitty. We're doing pretty well, and I'm enjoying the space even more than I anticipated. The best part is being in charge of my own time again, with no one assuming that I'll do what they want, regardless of my preferences.

Moonlight and I are spending more time together, and it's lovely to be spontaneous, and to have more freedom to invite her into my space. We're going to Hawaii in early March, for some much-needed RR&R (rest, relaxation, and romance!).

Punk and I still haven't had a chance to connect with face time, but have kept in touch with texting often. He's a sweet man, and I love having him as a dear (sexy!) friend.

Kiddo and I text most days, and I'm hoping to get some time with him this weekend, but have to coordinate with both Fly and Kiddo's mom. I don't know if there will be room for me, but I miss him terribly.
 
It's been a very, very long time since I last updated. My life has been pretty boring, so it didn't seem worth updating.

Moonlight and I are chugging along. Our relationship has definitely gotten better since Fly and I broke up. He controlled so much of my time, it was hugely detrimental to my connection with Moonlight.

She and I are spending several days a week together, and it's heaven to be able to have her come to my house instead of me always traveling to her. We've been hanging out at the beach, date night dinners, weekends away, concerts at the winery, just really enjoying summertime.

Fly and I are on friendly terms. I try to hang out with Kiddo every 2-3 weeks, and when I pick him up or bring him home, Fly always gives me a hug and we chitchat. It's very weird to be a guest in a house where I lived for 6 years, but I'm happy that things are amicable. When I brought Kiddo home last night after an evening of video games and pizza, Fly let me go hug some chickens, and sent me home with a dozen backyard eggs. We're still facebook friends, and none of our mutual friends have had to take sides. Now, 7 months out from the breakup, I'm pleased with the outcome.

Kiddo and I are still best friends, and I'm so, so grateful that I get to keep him in my life.

Punk and I keep talking about getting together, but we're both crazy busy. There's a lot of texting and facebook contact, though, and he's such a great friend that the lack of ftf interaction doesn't really harm anything.

Life is good and happy and utterly dull, and I like it that way. :cool:
 
Good to get a happy update, RGJ, and I am so glad you are having a terrific time doing summery things with Moonlight! Also glad you get to see Kiddo regularly.
 
Just spent a weekend up on San Juan Island with Moonlight. We went whale watching, had an amazing fancy dinner, and spent some much-needed downtime together. It was heavenly!

I'm super excited to have gotten all my ducks in a row so that I can go back to school this fall! I pretty much have to start at the beginning, because I've only ever taken early childhood classes, and to be able to transfer to the UW, I need to do a direct transfer AA. I think it will be fun to take some gen ed stuff, though! This upcoming quarter, I'm signed up for biology, "Race in America," and "History of Rock and Roll."

I want to take as many classes online as possible, and my old laptop just can't handle that kind of thing anymore. I'm going to use some of my financial aid to purchase a new one, and Punk is going to help me. He works for a big tech company, and has already let me pick his brain about what my best options for my budget are.

I'm feeling so positive about where my life is right now. I loved Fly, but I was so boxed in by his plans and goals for himself. It was as though I was just along for the ride, that my purpose was to smooth out his life so he could accomplish what he wanted, and that my dreams and goals were irrelevant. Moonlight is unendingly supportive as I start to figure out what I want and need to do, and it's like fresh water poured upon a wilting plant. :)
 
It's been over 8 years since I've updated my blog. During that time, I was pretty much monogamous with Moonlight. I had broken up with Fly and lost touch with Punk when he moved far away. Kiddo and I kept our regular hangouts for a while, but as he got older he naturally gravitated towards his friends. He's a freshman in college now. I still talk to Fly on occasion, and am facebook friends with Kiddo's mom and older sister so I get the occasional update.

I had a wonderful almost 10 years with Moonlight. We maintained separate homes, but other than that were basically spouses. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer in June of 2020 and died at the end of March, 2022. I spent the last 3 weeks of her life living in her house with her, helping her relatives take care of her as she declined. I was rubbing her feet as she passed, with her daughter and sister holding her hands. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm so grateful I had that time with her at the end of her life.

So, I have become single again for the first time in 17 years. I've spent this last year mourning, but as the anniversary of her death approaches I feel like it's time to learn to let go a little. I'm plannign to do something on her death date - a ritual, a trip somewhere, something. I'm not sure yet. But I think it's time.
 
I’m so very sorry.
 
I am sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies.
 
Oh, I'm sad to hear of Moonlight's death. A ritual or trip sounds like a meaningful way to mark the anniversary. I wish you peace amid the long tail of grief, and all the best opening the next chapter of new experiences while still remembering Moonlight
 
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