gorgeouskitten
New member
Thursday. (after replying to you wonderful ladies). J was miserable this AM...talking about how there was no "we" anymore, and no "household stuff" despite my pointing out we have to live together for quite some time (he doesn't work). Every time we talk the guilt is over whelming...he wants to try just because, finances, kids, we "used to" be in love...I don't want to try with someone I don't have feelings for.
The kids seem to be doing ok. Work is annoying...despite the hard work and 10 years ive put in some of the directors dislike and undermined me constantly. My boss sticks up for me, but when she retires (soon) not sure how it will go. My job is very specialized and hard to look for others. Its also so frustrating I make a good amount of money but am absolutely broke and cant pay all the bills cause I support five people. it wears on me.
I've decided to learn tarot cards. not cause im some new age hippie but I think its interesting to try to broaden your mind and see what you come up with.
Last night I took D on a special planned date, he didn't seem overly impressed and I felt bad. probably more me than him. He showed me a woman hes talking to on OKC...im going to admit I was relieved she was older, heavier, and poly-ier than me (already has a primary). If he ever gets a young, hot, single babe I might blow my top. Yep, I sound possessive and insecure. D also mentioned our disparities....he went into this thing about being a DINK, unlike me, and having hard boundries around possession of things that I don't (ie, if you really needed to use my car i'd had you the keys. I once let a woman in the garage use ym flipflops to walk through a puddle). I think he sounds selfish and didn't totally understand how it relates to us.
I need a vacation. I want to run away to the city (im not a beach girl, blech. I live in new England so that makes beaches even worse) but again, back to the money thing. Life is too cyclical.
The kids seem to be doing ok. Work is annoying...despite the hard work and 10 years ive put in some of the directors dislike and undermined me constantly. My boss sticks up for me, but when she retires (soon) not sure how it will go. My job is very specialized and hard to look for others. Its also so frustrating I make a good amount of money but am absolutely broke and cant pay all the bills cause I support five people. it wears on me.
I've decided to learn tarot cards. not cause im some new age hippie but I think its interesting to try to broaden your mind and see what you come up with.
Last night I took D on a special planned date, he didn't seem overly impressed and I felt bad. probably more me than him. He showed me a woman hes talking to on OKC...im going to admit I was relieved she was older, heavier, and poly-ier than me (already has a primary). If he ever gets a young, hot, single babe I might blow my top. Yep, I sound possessive and insecure. D also mentioned our disparities....he went into this thing about being a DINK, unlike me, and having hard boundries around possession of things that I don't (ie, if you really needed to use my car i'd had you the keys. I once let a woman in the garage use ym flipflops to walk through a puddle). I think he sounds selfish and didn't totally understand how it relates to us.
I need a vacation. I want to run away to the city (im not a beach girl, blech. I live in new England so that makes beaches even worse) but again, back to the money thing. Life is too cyclical.