Disclaimer: a bit of a rant here.
So, if you've read my previous (first) post here, you're privy to the details and background of my story. If not, I'll give you the abridged version.
My wife and I, through whatever catalyst, introspection and soul searching has led us here, are moving into the Poly world. We've discussed at length, had all the necessary conversations, and things moved a bit quick from there. She went on a business trip, met a coworker she'd been communicating through work, they hit it off (so to speak).
She comes home (nothing's happened, just a dinner-date) and we talk some more. Lot's of happiness and compersion abound. Month goes by, they'r emailing & texting (no-holds-barred style). Now plans are tentatively drawn for a liaison over a weekend.
Here's my strife. We're married. We're experimenting with Poly. She's not even a week into the process of researching it and finds someone she's starting to fall in love with. Her beau is very understanding and accepting of the whole situation and rather cool with the poly ideals (lucky us to find such a guy, what with typical male possessiveness).
Why is it so much harder for a guy in the same situation (me) to meet women? Not even poly-friendly women, just a 'foot-in-the-door' kind of meeting? It's like they see the ring and look the other way.
I know gender has almost everything to do with it, in the context of society. Men are 'supposed' to be horn-dogs and uncaring as to the marital status of a woman who's interested in him, whilst women are 'supposed' to be forever enchanted once they find their one true love, yet never despoil the trappings of another woman.
This is what society teaches us.
Now, and I do not mean to sound arrogant or conceited (in fact, I'm almost painfully modest at times), but I consider myself to be a relatively attractive man with a lot going for me.
Yet, why do we start at such a disadvantage? Why does it have to be that way?
In the words of Gavin Katz (Pedestrian Polyamory podcast), I just want some ice cream too!
A battle-royale of the sexes is not needed nor intended. This is just a rant, as aforementioned.
Any words of wisdom/advice?
So, if you've read my previous (first) post here, you're privy to the details and background of my story. If not, I'll give you the abridged version.
My wife and I, through whatever catalyst, introspection and soul searching has led us here, are moving into the Poly world. We've discussed at length, had all the necessary conversations, and things moved a bit quick from there. She went on a business trip, met a coworker she'd been communicating through work, they hit it off (so to speak).
She comes home (nothing's happened, just a dinner-date) and we talk some more. Lot's of happiness and compersion abound. Month goes by, they'r emailing & texting (no-holds-barred style). Now plans are tentatively drawn for a liaison over a weekend.
Here's my strife. We're married. We're experimenting with Poly. She's not even a week into the process of researching it and finds someone she's starting to fall in love with. Her beau is very understanding and accepting of the whole situation and rather cool with the poly ideals (lucky us to find such a guy, what with typical male possessiveness).
Why is it so much harder for a guy in the same situation (me) to meet women? Not even poly-friendly women, just a 'foot-in-the-door' kind of meeting? It's like they see the ring and look the other way.
I know gender has almost everything to do with it, in the context of society. Men are 'supposed' to be horn-dogs and uncaring as to the marital status of a woman who's interested in him, whilst women are 'supposed' to be forever enchanted once they find their one true love, yet never despoil the trappings of another woman.
This is what society teaches us.
Now, and I do not mean to sound arrogant or conceited (in fact, I'm almost painfully modest at times), but I consider myself to be a relatively attractive man with a lot going for me.
Yet, why do we start at such a disadvantage? Why does it have to be that way?
In the words of Gavin Katz (Pedestrian Polyamory podcast), I just want some ice cream too!
A battle-royale of the sexes is not needed nor intended. This is just a rant, as aforementioned.
Any words of wisdom/advice?