Continuing to learn
Last night, PN, LB and Redpepper's parents and I went to watch her sing in her choir at a local theatre. It was a great show and the entire family was very proud of our beloved Redpepper.
Afterwards, PN went dancing with friends and Redpepper headed off to a "poly" party with Derbylicious and her hubby. I call it a "poly" party because it included people from the local community. I stayed home and had a quiet night to myself, watching over my little buddy.
Having a partner who is independent can certainly relieve the pressure of having to do things as a couple. The idea that she was with Derby also helps take away a sense of obligation for me to attend, as well. I think it is important to remind myself that we are often in two different streams of social comfort. I enjoy hanging out with both but I think it is still better to step back from the poly social scene and give RP that space to have fun without me around or worrying that I am going to smack someone upside the head for flirting with her.
And why the hell wouldn't they? She's a sexy lady!
It's interesting to notice that after almost three years, I still don't feel a true part of either social circle. Luckily, I am very comfortable in the space between, as I enjoy solitude and keeping most people at a distance.
Learning is success, and so is acceptance! Lots of things going on internally, rethinking boundaries, rethinking what parts of traditional "commitment" I am holding onto, and wondering what the future holds. What's next?? No doubt there will be plenty of love for RP and family.