Simultaneous NRE

miss p and I spent a week in upstate NY. miss pixi has gone to the Grassroots Music Fest every year since 1991, since she grew up in Watkin's Glen. It's my 4th time going with her. Last 2 years we took my son, but he didnt want to go this year, instead agreed to watch miss p's dogs at my apartment-- what a sweetie!

I came down with bronchitis on the Monday of the week we were supposed to leave. What a bummer! I laid in bed, popping vitamin C, drinking Dayquil like Coke, and downing lots of fluids for 2 days, fevered, fatigued and coughing my head off.

So, instead of leaving on Wednesday, we left Friday. It's a 9 hour drive (6 hrs+ breaks) and we got to our motel 11pm that night. We got to the fest at 2pm the next day. I was kind of weak and felt a bit detached, but we managed to see some bands, and did lots of socializing with our group of friends that camp on the fairground, about 15 of them we are close with. I had to take a couple naps in one of their tents to survive, but I did it!

Luckily one of the girls threw a lovely party on Monday as well, and I was feeling much more human by then.

Much of the rest of the week was spent driving to many antique stores, collecting vintage Pyrex and a few other things we collect. That was super fun. Wednesday was miss pixi's birthday and we went wine tasting, mmmm, and had a boat cruise on Lake Seneca at 7pm, followed by a nice dinner at a restaurant with a spectacular view of the lake.

Thursday we hiked around in the mountains, the Devil's Cauldron at Watkin's Glen State Park, and the Glen River Gorge. So beautiful and peaceful. Just amazing. miss p was so lucky to grow up in that beautiful region and she misses it a lot.

Friday after antiquing we rather trepidatiously visited miss pixi's family, her conservative insular parents and brother. She came out to them as trans in a letter earlier this year, so they had had time to digest it. This was their first time seeing her in full female mode. Surprisingly it went really well. Her gender was not discussed, they spoke of ordinary things, they did call her "he" and by her former name out of habit, which felt odd, but there was little tension and miss p was extremely proud and relieved. We even all went out for fish fry, parents, her brother, his wife and their little 6 year old girl. The niece at first wondered where her "dad's brother" had gone... but miss p explained it, and niece was calling her "her" all night. Kids are so adaptable.

Then Saturday we drove home, in time to cook a big birthday dinner for my son, who turned 21 that day. We had a big jug of wine we'd brought back from a winery too. Sunday we went to Boston and took my son out for his first drink in public. We met my ex-h (his dad, we get along ok) at our favorite pub/restaurant in Allston, the Sunset, which has 100 beers on tap and 300 in bottles. Fun to watch the boy get carded and proudly hand over his license for the first time.

Yesterday (Monday) after taking miss p to her therapy and grocery shopping, I finally came back home alone, to rest up, do laundry, vacuum dog hair, etc. Ginger is coming over at 6 and I can't wait! I haven't seen him in 2 weeks! Feels like forever. He's been iming with me and he's super horny. hehe. Yay!
 
I have visited the Finger Lakes for their yearly Wine Festival (with my ex). I can't recall if we went once or twice, but I love it there, and want to go back sometime to Seneca Lake and the state park with the Gorge. The Corning Glass Museum is great, too!

Have a fun, sexy time with the Ginger tonight!
 
Oh yes, we went to the Corning Glass Museum as well. One of our friends actually works there and comped us in, saving us $15 each. We spent 2 hours there, only saw about 1/3 of it. We will have to go back again the next 2 years to finally see all of it! I especially loved the Roman glass and the Art Nouveau pieces. Just lovely, amazing, stunning beauty.
 
Monday was my birthday. I had miss p here at my place. We needed to drive to Boston for her therapy, then came back and ran some errands locally. Ended up at a Japanese restaurant to order some sushi takeout for my birthday dinner. We sat at the bar and had 2 mai tais each. I even chatted with the handsome silver fox patron on my other side for a bit. heh

On the way home, I dropped her at the grocery store across the street from my place, per her request. Then I went and got some sake at the liquor store.

At 7 she and Ginger arrived here simultaneously. They both had flowers for me, cut flowers from the store from miss p, and some wildflowers from Ginger that he'd picked on his land. I arranged them all together in a big vintage vase.

Ginger had another gift for me, one of his small sculptures. Squee! A bit later I found a miniature rose bush out on my balcony that miss p had also gotten and put out there.

So, then after chatting a bit, we got naked and I arranged the sushi on miss p's body and had a sensuous feast. I fed her too, and Ginger took pix of it all. He doesnt eat sushi. But I think he had fun watching. Once we'd eaten our fill, it turned to a 3way sex orgy and it all went great this time. :)
 
They ended up flogging me (my birthday spanks!) simultaneously, miss pixi on my back and Ginger on my ass. Wow, it was good, intense. I was in delicious subspace for an hour afterward. When I was able to move, I went to play a certain song on youtube. When I turned on my laptop, I saw I had an IM from my old boytoy D! As some of you might remember, he dumped me back in Jan 2011 with no explanation, no closure. It really nicked my heart. He apologized sincerely, and gave me his new phone number to text him if I wasn't too mad to talk to him.

What a blast from the past!

Around midnight, Ginger went to bed, and finally miss p and I had appetite for my cake. She'd bought one called Chocolate Binge and it was so good. She'd put candles on it, several small ones with animal print, and number candles saying 69. hehe! So funny.

Finally I went to bed around 1. I slept with Ginger and laid feather duvets on the floor next to the bed for miss p, at her request. She is comfortable sleeping on the floor... and liked being near us.

In the morning Ginger and I had sex when we woke in bed. He'd had time to think over all our STD statuses... miss p and I both having been tested recently. And apparently, he was feeling confident. We are now fluid bonded! It was pretty damn sweet to have him just slide on in without fumbling with a condom. After he came he said, Happy Birthday. hehe! The man has hardly ever had sex with no condom. Only when he and his wife were trying for babies. It seemed he enjoyed it. :p

We had a leisurely morning, all 3 of us. Chatting, cuddles, kisses and some more (somewhat more low key) sexual activity just before Ginger left around 2pm. :) I was glad miss p and Ginger had more time to get to know each other, they do like each other so much. I felt so pampered and loved by both of them. What a great birthday.
 
Happy Birthday, dear! Sounds like a fun, sexy celebration! Woo-hoo!

When I turned on my laptop, I saw I had an IM from my old boytoy D! As some of you might remember, he dumped me back in Jan 2011 with no explanation, no closure. It really nicked my heart. He apologized sincerely, and gave me his new phone number to text him if I wasn't too mad to talk to him.

What a blast from the past!

Wow, are you gonna text or call him? I would, if only to find out what happened and maybe get that closure you wanted. Or to see him again...? ;) I remember how much you enjoyed being with him.
 
Happy Birthday, dear! Sounds like a fun, sexy celebration! Woo-hoo!

Thanks! It could not have been a better time! I was glad both lovers made it so special for me, having considered my objections to how the last 3way date went. What a couple of sweethearts!


Wow, are you gonna text or call him? I would, if only to find out what happened and maybe get that closure you wanted.

I did text him after Ginger left and we texted back and forth a few times throughout the day. He humbly said he has an emotional IQ of about 0%, which was why he didn't explain earlier. I had thought he'd found another woman/women to have sex with, or maybe a deeper relationship, and so left me for her/them, but that doesn't seem to be the case. He'd graduated college while we were seeing each other and soon after that, gotten a high pressure job at Fidelity (he's great with numbers). So, the job got to be too much for him, he quit soon after our last encounter and moved "up north" and got an "attic room" to figure out where he wanted his life to go. Wish he'd have told me that sooner!

I teased him, asking if he was still in the woods, bearded, and living off roots and berries. But no, now he's moved back closer by, says he wants to stay in the insurance biz, but not in sales. Finally, I see around 1AM he texted asking how I've been.

Or to see him again...? ;) I remember how much you enjoyed being with him.

Eh, I dunno. When we first met, I was looking for a casual relationship and good hard fucking. D suited me, and he was fun and funny and endearing. But he only got together when it suited him, usually just once a month. He never even spent the night.

Now that I've got Ginger, he has to offer what D did, plus so much more! I think I've got too much self respect to start up again with D, after what he did to me. I'm just glad for the closure. As far as his question, "how have you been," I've got too much to tell for a text!
 
I spent more time yesterday texting back and forth with D. He asked me more specific questions about what I've been up to in my love life, so I briefly mentioned how I didn't date much last year, but found The Hottie, The Gentleman and The Ginger all late in the year. How Hottie and Gentleman are now history, but things are going great with Ginger, and with miss pixi as well.

Finally I asked him if he's seen anyone since he left me. He says he has a gf now, they have been "kickin it for a bit." Finally he admitted she is not kinky and the sex has become stale and boring for him, though she enjoys it. She seems resistant to being more experimental in that realm. What could I say? Be true to yourself, don't deny your sexuality. No one wins in that scenario. If she is not satisfying in that area, dump her and find a kinky gf. *shrug* I felt kind of weird being his "therapist" after not having talked to him in 18 months.

Of course, I suspect he'd like to use me as an escape (he spoke quite specifically and fondly of times when we were together), but to his credit, he didn't ask. And I really have no desire to start seeing him again after he cut me off 18 months ago with no explanation anyway. Even if he does heartily regret doing that to me now, and very humbly apologized.

And I wouldn't start seeing him if he was going behind his gf's back, as that goes against my poly ethics.

Talking to him again, though, did make my day kind of rough, because it brought back memories of all the good times we had together for 2 years... sigh... My wound had been scarred over but now it's been reopened a bit. I needed alone time to process it yesterday. miss pixi was here and was comforting and then left me to think and feel and try to come to terms with this all over again.
 
Another reason not to get back with D, or to have sex with a new lover, should anyone interest me, is that Ginger and I have just become fluid bonded. We had time and energy to discuss that in chat this morning. I think if miss pixi or I were to become sexual with someone outside our triad, Ginger would want to use condoms again, just to be doubly sure he was safe from disease. I don't want to go back to condoms with him, we've only just begun the fun and ease of being condomless.

Plus, the developing dynamic between the 3 of us is so fun, romantic, warm and erotic, I don't really desire any further entanglements right now. I'd like to focus on that for a while, without the stress of more first dates with new people. Of course, they might have other ideas for themselves, and all that will have to be negotiated as needed.
 
Well, it certainly sounds like D. knows he was a heel. And one could say that it was brave of him to get in touch and apologize after so long, to make amends and all that, but I wonder if he had a motive behind that, of seeing if you were available for sex again. Especially since his gf bores him in bed. Ehh, it might be better for you if you stop communicating with him. At least you have some sort of closure and aren't as much in the dark as you were.

I think you sound like you are in a great place with the Ginger and miss pixi, and taking the time to enjoy it all and process the development and deepening of your relationships is an excellent focus for your energies.
 
Well, I certainly don't blame D for putting some feelers out. We had an awesome FWB type sexual dynamic, really creative and super hot. And it's easy to forgive him, he's just a kid after all. I remember doing dumb things in relationships at his age too.

But anyway... he hasn't messaged again. Prolly scared of my big badass boyfriend! (Actually he and Ginger have the same exact body type, same height, 6'2", and almost identical above average sized cocks, hehe!) He hasn't messaged again, so we'll see if that is that, or if he gets back in touch if and when he breaks up with his gf.

Meanwhile, my super busy summer continues. miss pixi and I went on a reggae cruise on Sunday, on Boston Harbor. Big boat, 3 decks, 3 bars, and reggae (2 bands) on the top deck. One of our favorite groups that comes from the Fingerlakes, John Brown's Body, was the headliner, and they were SO good. What a great day, hot and muggy in town, only warm and fresh and drier out in the Harbor. So fun to boogie and watch the passing scenery of the Harbor islands and all the boats. 3 hour tour. We got lots of good pix. After that we returned to her place to watch the Olympics closing ceremonies. I left her place at 10:15 to drive home to go to work the next morning! Long day.

I'm working for a different family (childcare) this week as well as my usual family. I won't see Ginger til Saturday. miss pixi is going away for a week to work at camp again that day, and I'll drop her off at her ride's place, then Ginger and I are supposed to go to a dance, drum and arts fest after that.

However, he has had sore joints and other issues since June and was just diagnosed with Lyme today! We are at least glad to get the diagnosis. He had a tick bite back in June which led to a rash. Glad he got it figured out fairly early. Now he can get treated. He starts antibiotics today. Sore joints aren't good for the fucking!
 
I finally got a good night's sleep last night. Too many new impressions in the last month: my kids' issues, which I haven't even gone into here, plus traveling, socializing, driving, dancing, parties, shopping, 3 birthdays, working, volunteering, Ginger having Lyme symptoms... then the D thing. Sheesh! Been having wicked insomnia all week.

Had a day to myself yesterday, didn't talk to my kids, no partners here, no dogs, no nannying. Thank god for a day off. I was able to organize my new dishes and make some order around here. Today I am not working til 5:30 and then have tomorrow off too, before working Friday morning, and then driving to Boston to help miss p finalize her packing for her week at camp. Saturday aft, drive her to her ride's place in Worcester. Then driving to the Ginger's and going to the dance/arts fest if he's up to it. Then back to Boston that night to spend the night there with miss p's dogs, then Sunday driving them back to my place and starting a new week. I'll be dogsitting all week.
 
Wow, what a calendar! Poly is not for the faint of heart - nor the disorganized, that's for sure, LOL.

Glad you got a good night's sleep.

As someone who has struggled with insomnia for almost 30 years, I know how refreshing it is to just... sleep.

 
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Thanks, Cindie! I am continuing to sleep well. The main reason I wasn't lately was because of worry about my mentally ill daughter, and my ex dragging me into trying a scheme to help her, that did not help, and just upset me. I am again distancing myself from that mess.

In poly relationship news:

Ginger is not feeling well. The Lyme disease is kicking his ass. His joint soreness is lessening just a bit since he started antibiotics, but still pretty bad, and he tired very easily. But we did have a lovely date on Saturday. We hadn't seen each other in 12 days! I went to his place around 3, to his private cabin, and we went into an immediate hot clinch. Rawr! really good. Then we collected ourselves, dressed, and I drove us to this big outdoor drum fest he goes to every year. Despite his illness, he didnt want to miss it.

It was in a gorgeous setting of fields and woods, right next to a canal which led to a river. The rhythms were fantastic. He tried to dance, but it caused him too much pain. So, we took a romantic walk along the canal, held hands, talked. Returned to the drum circle and sat in the shade and many of his friends stopped by to chat. I got introduced to people.

After an hour, he said he needed to leave. I felt sad for him that he couldn't dance and enjoy the fest this year in his usual ecstatic way. But then he suggested going out to have dinner. :) This was our first time eating out, since he has many food allergies and aversions. But he had a cute old fashioned drive-in in mind, 10 mins away from the fest. We had seafood and frappes and it was fun!

After that we drove back to his place. He had put on lots of sunscreen since he has to be careful of the sun (he's a light skinned freckled person, plus the antibiotics make him even more sun-sensitive). So, he wanted to shower, and I had the enjoyment of watching him wash down in his rustic outdoor shower.

Then we climbed up in his loft and snuggled for a while, a little groping, low key, because he was tired. I left around 8 to go back to miss pixi's place. I am on dog duty for a week because she is away all week counseling at a camp for transgendered kids (her 2nd year doing this).
 
So, just before going to see Ginger, I had dropped miss p at her ride's place so they could drive to the camp. I miss her... she has little time to be in touch. I am getting a few texts a day. She is having a great time, and it's a great healing experience for her to do this. She loves working with the kids.

I spent Saturday night at miss p's place, just me and her dogs, then came back to my place on Sunday.

Hopefully Ginger will feel up to another visit sometime midweek. Otherwise I've got work, volunteer work, chores, errands, reading, and my other hobbies to fill my time. It's a little more downtime for me to enjoy my own company after such a hectic summer!
 
Baggage Control asked me how long it took to "luck out" and find long term partners that were a good match for me in the poly world, so here's a bit of a recap...

My ex-h and I separated in October of 2008, after 30+ years of marriage and 3 kids. He moved out. In early January of 2009, I joined ok cupid. I got a lot of attention from men right away, and almost had a date with one, but he backed out at the last minute. But soon afterwards, I met miss pixi there, PMed and IMed a lot, and met her on one of the last days in January. Our first date lasted a weekend and we were a great match, and in NRE heaven. Our connection has now lasted over 3 years.

My marriage had had such a long spiral down the toilet, I knew what I did and did not want in a lover, and she hit all the checkboxes.

All the while she and I were starting our exciting new relationship, I continued to date. Mostly men, one other woman. I had several long term relationships, lasting from 7 months to 2 years. I was new to practicing BDSM and wanted to sample that world. Since I am a switch, I dated subs, Doms and other switchy kinksters. I dated single guys, one married poly guy and even one cheating married man.

The best relationship was a playpartner/boytoy, D. He was extremely young, only just 21 when we met, but just my type. In a way, since I became exclusive with my ex h at age 19, it was a fantastic way to reclaim my own youth. D was tall, lean, well hung, great hair, smart, great way with words. He was perfect for me in bed, a real tiger, with lots of energy, imagination and stamina. When we weren't having wildcat sex, he was relaxing and comforting to be around.

However, he wanted a NSA relationship. After our first public date, we never went on another one, but just met at my house (before we sold it), or in my van in secluded spots, or in my new apartment. I could understand him not wanting me to meet his friends, I was his secret lover... our age gap was huge. He did meet miss pixi a few times and we even shared sex between us twice.
 
So, I must have dated 25-30 guys since early '09. Offers on okc continued to pour in. I was like a kid in a candy store. It was very healing after the rockiness of being with my ex h, who was so standoffish and passive aggressive for many years before we finally gave up the ghost.

D faded suddenly out of my life in January of last year (2011). After a few months went by, and he wasn't coming on chat, I tried to get in touch and some woman answered his phone. I didn't know if she was his gf answering his phone or if he'd gotten a new phone and a different number. I was so flummoxed, I didn't even ask her.

At the same time I was wondering about where D had gone, and missing him, my luck on okc began to run out. I was more picky by this time and had updated my profile to reflect my new poly values. I was no longer interested in just exploring kink, I wanted a real boyfriend. So, I had very few dates last year, and was quite frustrated, knowing I had so much love, caring and SEX to offer, and wasn't getting any takers.

It was kinda tough.

But finally in August, I got a long PM from The Gentleman and we met in early October. I got a PM from The Hottie in November and we met soon after. In December, I saw The Ginger had "rated me highly" on okc, so I messaged him and we met in early January.

The Hottie and I had 3-4 trysts and he was a perfect lover... oh god. (Best oral I've ever had, by a long shot, and the fucking was great too, and the kinky things we tried... sigh.... :) ) But he broke up with me in March, since he'd decided to go mono with another woman he was interested in.

The Gentleman and I had a 7 month (October-May) relationship and I think I've recorded it well in this blog.

And now, I've got The Ginger. So... to recap, met miss pixi after 4 weeks on okc, been together ever since. Met Ginger after being out there slugging away 3 years, and kissing many many frogs.
 
miss pixi had another wonderful week at the camp for transgendered kids. She is a counselor as well as one of the cooks. They had a different chef this year than her first year last summer, a young woman who had ordered in all fresh foods. They made everything from scratch. miss p adores cooking and absolutely loved it.

2 weeks went by and this chef invited miss p to work at a lesbian wedding this past weekend. It was out in central Mass and took some serious planning to get miss p out there as she doesn't have a car. Finally she took a bus to the Chef S's house in Northampton and then they drove to the wedding together.

I was glad miss p had a little job as she's been out of work for so long because of her disability. But that meant I had to miss her again after her having just got back from a week at camp. Also, I was once again on dogsitting duty. (I am not a dog person.) I spent the weekend at her place, hoping Ginger would drive in and spend a night.

However, he wasn't feeling up to it. The effects of the 3 week course of antibiotics he needed for his Lyme disease were still bothering him quite a bit, and the fatigue and muzzyheadedness from the actual Lyme were happening as well. He was back and forth in chat about whether he would drive into Boston to see me, and eventually decided not to. It was pretty frustrating waiting for him to make up his mind.

So... I had a kind of lonely weekend despite having 2 lovers! I did a lot of reading, some cleaning, and on Sunday, thrift store shopping and photography.

miss pixi got home 7:30 Sunday night and we had a nice reunion. She had a lot of fun at the wedding job, and then some time for running around Northampton on Sunday with Chef S and her partner before catching her bus. Northampton is one of the gayest towns in the country.
 
miss pixi told me she wanted to spend more time with me, so on Monday we drove back to my place, where she will stay for the week. Lo and behold, early Monday morning, after being so vague all weekend, Ginger messaged me wanting to see me asap, could he come Wed, how about Tuesday, actually how about today???

So, miss p and I got back here around 6, went to the grocery store, and Ginger got here at 7. miss pixi wasn't in the mood for sexy time with him (she told me she was more into just reconnecting with me after all our time apart). So Ginger and I had sex in the living room as she cooked in the kitchen at the other end of the space. Eventually he and I moved to the bedroom.

Once we were done we came out and socialized with miss p, talking and looking at her pix from camp. Ginger tired early and went to bed at 10.

He was feeling better in the morning and we had some nice time to cuddle, chat and have breakfast.

He'd had a hobby of making chainmail for a while, and I told him how Nina Garcia, one of the Project Runway judges, had worn a chainmail designer dress the other week. He got all interested and looked up a video of the Yves St Laurent winter 2011 show when he introduced his chainmail dresses. I was pretty happy to have a bf who would look at fashion with me!

Eventually we took a shower together and had shower sex, even actual intercourse in there, which would've been difficult if we weren't fluid bonded!

Ginger left around 11. Later in the day I felt the beginnings of congestion and Tuesday came down with a full blown cold. I'd just had a virus in late July! Of course, I got this from the little girl I sit for, who has just started back to school. Dammit! Also, I have decided to quit smoking and started cutting back last week, and then started Chantix this week. Hard to tell how much of the coughing and mucus is from the cold and how much is from cutting way back on cigs!
 
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