Need Advise
Hello everyone!
I realized just a while ago I was polyamorous. I'm 24 years old and had several bf in the past. Back then, I used to fell in love for someone else and start going out with that person even though I was in a relationship... Of course it never ended well. Every time this happened I had to end my first relationship because, of course, my bf's were monogamous and I thought I was too.
Thing is, I realized I was poly last time this happened. I was in a bad place with my current boyfriend (K) and I started looking for someone else who could give me support, this time it was a friend we had in common (S). I confessed my feelings to both of them and K broke up with me. I started dating this other guy seriously, but even though we understood each other, had fun and had great (awsome) sex, I was missing K... I couldn't live without him.
Then, things got very weird for us because we started hanging out together, the three of us, and K suggested we could have a threesome. He always tell me he said that because he wanted to please me because at that time, he didn't want to forgive me for what I did to him and he didn't care to share me if I wasn't her gf at that moment. We started going out the three of us after that, but S became the third wheel, because I wanted K to forgive me and be with me. One morning, S left my place without saying anything.
So, now that S was out of the picture, K accepted me once more and we became a couple once more. After several months without knowing anything about S, we decided to search for an apartment, but we needed someone else to pay our rent... And we ask S to be the one. I thought K was going to say it was a stupid idea, but he was okay with it.
We started living together and we've been here a year and a half. S has a separate bedroom, while K and I share another. Thing is, that I couldn't be faithful to K with S around, and on the other hand, K and I had some very strong issues recently. He did something terrible that I prefer to keep for myself. He broke my heart just as I broke his back then. The problem is that I don't feel that I can commit 100% to him now that I'm heart broken and with S in the same house. I know that he is aware about what I feel about S, but as long as I don't tell him in his face, everything's okay.
I'm not the kind of person who hides and tell lies. I want him to accept that I love them both, but i'm afraid that he is too insecure to accept this. I think that the three of us already have a relationship. We watch TV together, go to the movies together, go have dinner together... Maybe K just doesn't want to say it out loud.
What should I do¿
Hello everyone!
I realized just a while ago I was polyamorous. I'm 24 years old and had several bf in the past. Back then, I used to fell in love for someone else and start going out with that person even though I was in a relationship... Of course it never ended well. Every time this happened I had to end my first relationship because, of course, my bf's were monogamous and I thought I was too.
Thing is, I realized I was poly last time this happened. I was in a bad place with my current boyfriend (K) and I started looking for someone else who could give me support, this time it was a friend we had in common (S). I confessed my feelings to both of them and K broke up with me. I started dating this other guy seriously, but even though we understood each other, had fun and had great (awsome) sex, I was missing K... I couldn't live without him.
Then, things got very weird for us because we started hanging out together, the three of us, and K suggested we could have a threesome. He always tell me he said that because he wanted to please me because at that time, he didn't want to forgive me for what I did to him and he didn't care to share me if I wasn't her gf at that moment. We started going out the three of us after that, but S became the third wheel, because I wanted K to forgive me and be with me. One morning, S left my place without saying anything.
So, now that S was out of the picture, K accepted me once more and we became a couple once more. After several months without knowing anything about S, we decided to search for an apartment, but we needed someone else to pay our rent... And we ask S to be the one. I thought K was going to say it was a stupid idea, but he was okay with it.
We started living together and we've been here a year and a half. S has a separate bedroom, while K and I share another. Thing is, that I couldn't be faithful to K with S around, and on the other hand, K and I had some very strong issues recently. He did something terrible that I prefer to keep for myself. He broke my heart just as I broke his back then. The problem is that I don't feel that I can commit 100% to him now that I'm heart broken and with S in the same house. I know that he is aware about what I feel about S, but as long as I don't tell him in his face, everything's okay.
I'm not the kind of person who hides and tell lies. I want him to accept that I love them both, but i'm afraid that he is too insecure to accept this. I think that the three of us already have a relationship. We watch TV together, go to the movies together, go have dinner together... Maybe K just doesn't want to say it out loud.
What should I do¿