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  #71  
Old 04-07-2018, 06:56 PM
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PolyNatural PolyNatural is offline
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Originally Posted by ref2018 View Post
... I'm not even sure why this thread is getting so much attention (it's another one of polynat's soapbox threads, after all). I just think it's entertaining to watch, like a Netflix Original. I didn't mean to get you all worked up.
lol. Soapbox thread? I like it. It has a quaint sort of ring that reminds me of where the expression soapbox came from. Maybe the whole site is a soapbox and the Internet is an even bigger one, and mine is a teeny tiny one stuck out on some craggy ledge that makes an easy target for people who just like to throw rocks. Once in a while though I do get a really nice compliment on my efforts and that makes it bearable.
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That's why I think "a person who is trying to point out something that a 5-year-old could wrap their mind around" might benefit from an obnoxious purple wordpress template.
You must be one of the minority in the world who don't like purple. Are you into website design? Or just commenting as a reader?
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Last edited by PolyNatural; 04-07-2018 at 07:05 PM.
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  #72  
Old 04-07-2018, 07:05 PM
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Thank you, Tinwen.

I was simply trying - and obviously failing - to point out that in the great Polyamory Terminology Debate, an additional source of confusion is the difference, perceived or otherwise, between those who are currently living a polyamorous lifestyle (they themselves have multiple loving/sexual relationships) and those who consider themselves polyamorous by orientation, but who, due to circumstance or choice, are NOT currently involved with more than one partner. Is all.
Well said.
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  #73  
Old 04-11-2018, 03:44 PM
CaptainUnderpants CaptainUnderpants is offline
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Label...... ah..... there in lies the problem..... They suck!

They mean one thing to one person and another to some one else.

Example. I run. I have since I was 14, often times several times a week. I have even run ultra marathons. People looking at me would say I am a runner. But I don't feel like a runner. I am a tennis player. I have played tennis since 5, have been nationally ranked, played in college, taught the sport and compete to this day. I only run for fun, cross training purposes and to stay in shape. I could never win any running competition, or even compete at the top of my field as a runner.

Yet most people would call me a runner. To me I am not a runner. Is their definition of runner right and mine wrong, or visa versa. No, just different definitions of the same label. And that is why labels suck.

Just last week, I had a session with my therapist / energy gal, she encouraged me to drop any label around poly. I said yes ethically non-mono would be better. She said don't use that either, just another label. Labels keep you stuck. The prevent you from moving forward. While they do facilitate an immediate understanding, that immediate understanding can quickly turn to misunderstanding and disagreement and feeling judged.

Eight pages of forum thread only confirm my opinion that labels and words while necessary can suck, especially when they are words that are loaded with meaning. Not many people will get up in arms about words like cat or dog, but words like god, polyamory, swinging, christian, etc are just loaded with additional meaning that is added by the listener. This additional meaning which is added by the listener, may not have been the intent of the person using the term. So maybe best not to use those words when speaking to a new acquaintance to describe yourself as you are likely to be misunderstood.

I have found labels and definitions useful when learning something new, much like when I was learning music theory and piano. But what is then required to actually implement all of that new found knowledge is to actually forget it and just play. I think life is similar. There is a time to learn, reflect, quantify and analyze. There are also times to just be. I would say that getting to know somebody new is more about just being and enjoying their energy.
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Last edited by CaptainUnderpants; 04-11-2018 at 03:56 PM.
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  #74  
Old 04-11-2018, 06:03 PM
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PolyNatural PolyNatural is offline
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Originally Posted by CaptainUnderpants View Post
Label...... ah..... there in lies the problem..... They suck! ... There is a time to learn, reflect, quantify and analyze. There are also times to just be. I would say that getting to know somebody new is more about just being and enjoying their energy.
Thanks for your comment. There's definitely truth in there!
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  #75  
Old 04-12-2018, 04:57 AM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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So... you're saying that anyone who hates labels probably shouldn't be on a site dedicated to POLYAMORY... right?

Watch the door.
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  #76  
Old 04-15-2018, 03:08 AM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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Waiting for the shoe to drop...
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  #77  
Old 04-17-2018, 06:32 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Just spitballing here but if Mr Polynatural hates the label shouldnt he have changed his username on page 2 of this thread.???

Damn now im thinking up usernames .... i think you have to go with something really simple like joe2.1. Or steve3po

Funny when i was born there was 2genders ...now look😝
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  #78  
Old 04-17-2018, 04:58 PM
ref2018 ref2018 is offline
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Just spitballing here but if Mr Polynatural hates the label shouldnt he have changed his username on page 2 of this thread.???

Damn now im thinking up usernames .... i think you have to go with something really simple like joe2.1. Or steve3po
He needs a new logo, too, while you're at it.
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  #79  
Old 04-18-2018, 02:41 AM
DonnieLD DonnieLD is offline
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I personally hate labels of any kind. I have seen them turned into excuses and weapons on far too many occasions and it's one reason why my spiritual title went from Mennonite, to Christian, to a believer of...well it makes sense if you read the thread I wrote in spirituality on disliking labels.

Anyway, I agree, I don't like labels and while I won't probably ever consider myself poly in the sense of the term, I think that this type of community is the part of the beginning on one of our intended paths in life. I wish we could all piece everything together and simply forget the labels on many things but I fear it's a long way off.

Hopefully you find more love in your journey than hate and aggression.

--D
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