I need some help. Here my story.
I have never been mono, I lost my v-card (along with my first kiss and well first everything) in a threesome when I was 20 years old and I began a threeway romantic relationship with them. After about a year and half, it ended and we still stayed friends.
When I was single, I only slept with couples at clubs or those looking for a threesome. I only recalled two nightstands that I had sex with just one person and those were quick and dirty ones that ended in about half an hour without numbers or names. I was in another poly relationship that lasted for about four months and it ended since the couple moved and none us wanted to travel between two counties.
About another year later, I met D and I have been in a mono relationship with him for about ten months today.
Now, I am a mono relationship with a wonderful guy,D, and I never felt this happy in my other relationships; but I don’t understand why. I was taught that mono relationships never work out, that most if not all of the mono people will cheat. I saw this happened with my family, friends and coworkers. I have been told over and over the horror stories of failed mono relationship that yet here I am in one.
The things is I am thinking that while my mental and physical needs were taken care of, my emotional needs weren’t. I think I might have been using poly as a way to keep myself safe having to deal about my partner cheating on me or switching me out for someone better and younger since if I was in a poly relationship with them they won’t feel the need to leave me nor cheat on me.
I mean, I know poly relationships can and will fail just as mono relationships do. It took me a long time to understand that. Not all mono people are cheaters and I was deeply wrong to think that, also not everyone is made for a poly relationship.
It became clear to me that I have issues that I need work out about who I am and try to understand what I want from myself and from my relationships. At this point, I think I might what to talk to someone about this and maybe it will help me.
Does anyone here dealing with the same issues?
PS. I’m sorry to dump this on you guys, but it been boiling like mad for a while and just needed to get it out. I hope don't hurt anyone by posting this.
I have never been mono, I lost my v-card (along with my first kiss and well first everything) in a threesome when I was 20 years old and I began a threeway romantic relationship with them. After about a year and half, it ended and we still stayed friends.
When I was single, I only slept with couples at clubs or those looking for a threesome. I only recalled two nightstands that I had sex with just one person and those were quick and dirty ones that ended in about half an hour without numbers or names. I was in another poly relationship that lasted for about four months and it ended since the couple moved and none us wanted to travel between two counties.
About another year later, I met D and I have been in a mono relationship with him for about ten months today.
Now, I am a mono relationship with a wonderful guy,D, and I never felt this happy in my other relationships; but I don’t understand why. I was taught that mono relationships never work out, that most if not all of the mono people will cheat. I saw this happened with my family, friends and coworkers. I have been told over and over the horror stories of failed mono relationship that yet here I am in one.
The things is I am thinking that while my mental and physical needs were taken care of, my emotional needs weren’t. I think I might have been using poly as a way to keep myself safe having to deal about my partner cheating on me or switching me out for someone better and younger since if I was in a poly relationship with them they won’t feel the need to leave me nor cheat on me.
I mean, I know poly relationships can and will fail just as mono relationships do. It took me a long time to understand that. Not all mono people are cheaters and I was deeply wrong to think that, also not everyone is made for a poly relationship.
It became clear to me that I have issues that I need work out about who I am and try to understand what I want from myself and from my relationships. At this point, I think I might what to talk to someone about this and maybe it will help me.
Does anyone here dealing with the same issues?
PS. I’m sorry to dump this on you guys, but it been boiling like mad for a while and just needed to get it out. I hope don't hurt anyone by posting this.
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