River's Blog

Faraway Sweetie and I just had another phone conversation / date. We talked about how nice it will be to soon be able to be in physical proximity, to share activities like cooking, eating, drawing, meditating.... I'm researching trains and buses and fares.
:) Gosh, remember when the day you would be able to see her seemed so far away?
 
:) Gosh, remember when the day you would be able to see her seemed so far away?

Uhhuh. And I also remember thinking of waiting for spring (due to the recent divorce and The Slippery Slope Theory...).

Well, it does have a steep incline. I've seen it. And it is slick. But I've bought some special anti-slick shoes! And I have some special, iron underwear equipped with padlocks. Fashionable!:D

Question is, which one of us keeps or hides the keys?
 
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I said what I always do, "Anything with you". I'd like to do most anything with her. It is the with her part ... I'd even go shoe shopping for her shoes with her, I would. And I'd enjoy it, because I'd be with her.

I get it, River. :) That's it EXACTLY for me. My long distance ex used to ask me what I wanted to do when I went to visit him. And I would answer "be with you." He wanted to plan elaborate outings and I just wanted to be together.

I love the sense of anticipation and desire you have.

JG
 
My long distance ex used to ask me what I wanted to do when I went to visit him.
could it be that he was asking you:
"what do you like doing?"
 
could it be that he was asking you:
"what do you like doing?"

In the beginning, maybe. But we were together 12 years...by year, say, 3, you'd think he would have gotten a clue. :)

JG
 
In the beginning, maybe. But we were together 12 years..
JG

ooohhhhhmmmmyyyyy!!!
;)
farewell he..

hi river, it has been a pleasure spamming a bit here at your fire-place :)
hugs!
 
Another phone date moments ago. What joy it is to talk with her! We're so at ease and happy with one another. It's magical! We never run out of things to talk about. Comfort and warmth and ease...(!). And happy, light joy.

We have plans to go see the Grand Canyon together in spring, she, Kevin, me and some of our friends. Stopping at Chaco Canyon on the way to camp near some famous anasazi ruins. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaco_Culture_National_Historical_Park

I figger it's okay for she and I to share our own little tent, since Kevin sees so much of me most of the time, and I so little of her. Or we can flip flop the sleeping arrangements on differing nights.

We'll be able to lay under the stars together! Yay!

Initial visit coming soon in her neck of the woods. I'm amazed how relaxed this is and is becoming. Shouldn't I be nervous? Amazingly, I'm not.
 
I'm amazed how comfortable I've become with FS. Earlier on I had some anxiety about this and that in relation to her, and it seems mostly to have fallen away, revealing great comfort and ease, warm affectionate tenderness, slow gentle joy.

We've spent hours and hours on the phone together lately, and each time it is as if time disappears. Two hours can feel like twenty minutes. And how is it possible for us not to run out of fun things to talk about?

I'm 99.9 % convinced that we'll be just as good together up close, only a lot better 'cause we can then touch one another and share all kinds of up-close experiences. It's remarkable how at ease I am about this massive, amazing event in my life! She's amazing. We're amazing. Life is amazing.
 
...how is it possible for us not to run out of fun things to talk about?

Well, you've only known her a few months. I'd hope you'd still have plenty to talk about. Heck, even my ex and I, after 33 years together, never ran out of interesting things to talk about. And of course, miss pixi and I live in each others' back pockets, going on 3 years now, and she still continually delights, entertains, surprises and inspires me.

"Only boring people are bored," as the saying goes.
 
Well, you've only known her a few months. I'd hope you'd still have plenty to talk about.

Well, we've done a whole lot of talking! -- on the phone & by email. Simply tons of it.

This is in striking contrast with Kevin, who has never been a big talker. He's "low verbal," as I call it. It's not that we don't talk, Kevin & I. It's just that he's much less talkative than I am. It's just his style. And over the years I have learned how to appreciate extended periods of being together with him without needing to fill silence up with words. And this has been good for me! But in recent time I've been wanting a deeply intimate relationship with another "high verbal" type, like myself. Then FS & I met (here in this forum). And the rest is history, as they say.

There is a quality to the talking between FS and myself which is pretty unique in my life at this time. We talk really, really well together -- better, in various ways, than with any of my other friends. We're both really quite interested in one another, and in one another's well-being and happiness.... We're both enthusiastic about what we have between us. It's just really, really good. I feel that I've hit the Cosmic Jackpot with her. And, Dangitall!, she seems to feel the same about me. It's weird!

===

I'm considering flying rather than taking the train and then the bus.... It's cheaper and less complicated. But I haven't been in one of them aluminum birds in a very long time. And they scare me a little. I mean, it's Up In The Air!
 
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This Post Has Almost Nothing To Do With Polyamory

Ever since I was a child I've been fascinated by pinhole cameras. These are lensless cameras, which is part of why they have always fascinated me--for they sound like wingless birds, don't they? That can't fly! But they do. Well, you can take a picture with a lensless camera. All you need is a leetle tiny pin hole where the lens should otherwise be. The first such cameras, called "camera obscuras" were the world's first cameras--though they did not make photographs. You would, instead, enter into the camera obscura and observe the image of the outside world right there on the dark wall of the inside world.

As a poet, this stuff really turns me on--for my world is languaged in metaphors. My inside world is populated with them!

I've decided to become a kid again. I'm finally going to make myself a pinhole camera. Soon, here, you can view images of my inside world.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinhole_camera


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camera_Obscura


http://www.withoutlenses.com



.
 
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There is a quality to the talking between FS and myself which is pretty unique in my life at this time. We talk really, really well together -- better, in various ways, than with any of my other friends. We're both really quite interested in one another, and in one another's well-being and happiness.... We're both enthusiastic about what we have between us. It's just really, really good. I feel that I've hit the Cosmic Jackpot with her. And, Dangitall!, she seems to feel the same about me. It's weird!

Well, I am glad she offers a contrast to Kevin. I'm happy for you, and glad you're going to see her soon. Personally I am in favor of people that like to talk, can express themselves well... and are also good listeners. :)

I'm considering flying rather than taking the train and then the bus.... It's cheaper and less complicated. But I haven't been in one of them aluminum birds in a very long time. And they scare me a little. I mean, it's Up In The Air!

Xanax is your friend. Phobias suck.
 
Well, I am glad she offers a contrast to Kevin. I'm happy for you, and glad you're going to see her soon. Personally I am in favor of people that like to talk, can express themselves well... and are also good listeners. :)

Kevin is as Kevin is, and I love him very much. He's a keeper. I can appreciate both of my sweeties for being just who and what they are. And, yes, I'm happy
that FS likes to talk and listen.

Xanax is your friend. Phobias suck.

My anxiety about flying is far below the level of a phobia, thank goodness. It's pretty mild stuff, really. I prefer being on the ground, that's all. But if flying is less expensive than a train / bus combo trip, I'll go with the plane.
 
I've decided to become a kid again. I'm finally going to make myself a pinhole camera.

I always wanted to do that, too! I've also always wanted a Holga or Diana plastic camera just for light-leaky fun! Photography has always been a love of mine, but I never went and did these things. You can make a pinhole camera out of an oatmeal box! The sad thing is, nowadays there are so few places left to just buy film. And I think you would need medium or large format film, or however it comes just one at a time, for it. Hopefully you can find it, and also a place or a friend to develop it. I look forward to seeing your results!
 
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Nycindie,

Oh, Cool! You too should make yourself a pinhole camera, and we can both share our results with one another! That would be a blast.

I've heard -- and read -- about the oatmeal box cameras, etc., but my plan is a little more "sophisticated". I'm looking at very precise plans (with all the math applied) for a simple but attractive hardwood box pinhole camera. I think it was in Fine Woodworking magazine that I saw one set of plans. (Can't post commercial URLs here, so Google if desired.)

One really, really cool thing about pinhole photography is that it has INFINITE depth of field -- which means I can set up artistic near-camera scenes (similar to "still lifes", but more like artistic creations) and have real, non-constructed landscapes behind, all in focus.

Most of the pinhole photos I've seen were in black and white, but color works just as well.

This is gonna be fun!

Weird tid-bit. Turns out New Mexico (my digs) is the world's center for pinhole photography. The world's only magazine devoted to pinhole photography was based here, and its publishers still maintain a web site which sells the back issues, books, equipment, etc. I think there have been gallery shows round here focussing on pinhole, too. (No pun intended.)
 
That sounds so cool! :)

I did have a pinhole camera when I was a kid... don't remember why that happened, probably something my stepdad decided would be fun. LOL.

I love photography, but have no time in my life for that hobby right now. I took photojournalism in college and loved it-- used to spend 10 hours on Saturdays in the darkroom developing film and printing pics. I wasn't that great at it, but it was FUN. :)

That's funny that your city has such a history with pinhole cameras that you didn't even know about. And convenient! :)
 
Back, for now, to our regularly scheduled programming.

I'm just here now to say this.: My Boyfriend Is So Cool!

I'm so damn lucky to have Kevin as my partner, best friend, lover, snuggle buddy, activity partner....

He's so supportive and so not jealous and so not in any way making my exploration of love with other/s difficult or problematic.

It could easily have been otherwise, but Kevin is Kevin and I'm just so freaking lucky about that!
 
I said "best friend" in my last post and I think I should explain. I can have multiple best friends. My best friends are those I call "best friend". They are not ranked in relation to one another. They are just the best -- or, rather, the ones I favor most highly and spend the most time with.

... So, I was out camping and hiking with Kevin & I just kept saying stuff like "Oh, [Faraway Sweetheart's name] would just LOVE this!" -- about a landscape, wildflowers, wildlife.... And then I'd catch myself at it and say (to Kevin), "Yeah, I know ... and if I were with her I'd be talking the same way about you (Kevin)."

All of this takes some getting used to.
 
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