Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

You are a better person than me. I would have told her to go take a long walk off a short pier in not so nice terminology at the Diner.

I would have noped right out of the rest of that drama permanently.
 
He has his head in the sand. It is definitely not you. I ( if she was my girlfriend in a similar situation) would have told her to leave. I probably would have told her to leave after the crack about getting fucked. Ugh, who puts up with that kind of crap for that long?
 
Wow, I don't remember when or if I have ever been spoken to that rudely, when I am just sitting there minding my own business. What a fucking immature bratty bitch.

I'd lose all respect for SirGawain after he sat there and let those comments, and the dagger, just hang in the air at the table. Wow.

And then the driving around and waiting for her to make up her mind, the manipulation around the Halloween party. Is she 15? Because that is some high school behavior right there.

I mean, I've had men be shitty to me. My last bf devalued me and molested Pixi while she slept. I didn't break up with him right away because I was afraid it was partly our fault, that he got some mixed messages and thought Pixi was into him. It did take me a while to come to my senses and give him the heave ho.

And I hear you saying the sex with Cornflower is completely meh, and SirG is fantastic sexually... and he bought you an expensive steak. I know it's hard to give up a lover who is extremely satisfying in bed.

But to know he's been putting up with this asshat of a gf for 20 years! I'd have to say, Nope. I can't be with a guy who is living in this kind of shit. The hoarding in his house. The gf hoarding HIM. He's in some kind of trap. You're a temporary escape to rationality and self respect for him. But that's not your job. He has to respect himself, 24/7. I wouldn't stick around to be his life raft, no matter how good the sex and the dates are.
 
Wow. This blew up! Thank you for all the comments. I lol’ed at the steak. Anyone is welcome to buy me expensive steak anytime, but I don’t base a relationship on one. When I write it’s just a dump of info, especially lately. I didn’t even realize I had mentioned the steak until now. Lolololol

I actually spent the entire morning in SirGawain’s bed yesterday, texting with his FWB. Apparently after he and I had our conversation on Sunday, he messaged her to ask for advice. She told me she thinks this is 100% on TwentyTall and I am not exaggerating or misreading anything. She said it’s par for the course. She begged me to not break up with SirGawain, that’s she’s never seen him so happy and so healthy before. She said that she doesn’t want to see Twenty Tall win this, and she can’t stand to have to pick up the pieces because no way was TwentyTall going to comfort SirGawain after a break up. This resonates with me - I mean, TwentyTall didn’t even show when his cat died, I can’t imagine her caring if someone she saw as a threat exited his life.

His FWB literally texted with me all day. Now, I’d texted with her before, that itself wasn’t unusual, but the frequency was definitely up. The distaste she has for TwentyTall was QUITE apparent. This kind of clicked with me - maybe this was why SirGawain never let her move into girlfriend status - as she very much wants to? Since she can’t get along with TwentyTall? She told me flat out she had never had a metamour relationship here and she very much wished for one. That was flattering, but it made me a tad hesitant too. I don’t know her THAT well, what if this whole network is poison? Maybe she is trying to use me move up a peg?

Then I decided I didn’t really care. I refuse to spend my life erring on the side of people are jerkfaces. And honestly, I think she’s amazing. Anyway, she said she’s just always been a FWB and she only gets called when he’s desperate. She said SirGawain has described himself to her as TwentyTall’s “thrall.”

So, I 100% agree that this is not something that is going to change.

I also told FWB - lord, she needs a name too - um, PowerPuff - that I would not be “fighting” anyone at all. Either the shit stops or I am gone. I used this analogy - I feel like we are doing poly on a playground (props whoever called it drama generated by a 15 year old, but I’m going younger!). I feel in successful poly - in my type of poly - we’re all running the 3-legged race. We’re tied together, laughing and joyful, and if someone falls down, we all stop to pull that person up. You might not be best friends, but everyone is on the same team, and you want to see everyone succeed. This is not happening here. What I feel like has happened is instead I am in the potato sack race. TwentyTall shoved me, jumped on me while on the ground, and then continued on her way to the finish line.

Y’all, I’m no good with sports.

My relationship with WarMan was similar. My metamour was toxic and he placated her in spite of this. I just did a shit ton of therapy and I am not looking to have to do more.

I talked to SirGawain over text yesterday and confirmed that no, he had not spoken to TwentyTall. He said he wanted to speak with TwentyTall’s husband first, because he was a good ally and would help him confront TwentyTall. He relayed that her husband agrees that TwentyTall was out of line, 100%.

Though I appreciated that sentiment, it has zero bearing on the situation. I told him I don’t care how the husband feels. I care how he himself feels, and how I feel.

Moving forward, I have already told him that if there is one more red flag in this, I am gone. I love him, so I will stick to that. If I loved him less, I would already be gone. If this happened a year ago, I would not be staying. I have to say that talking with PowerPuff helped a great deal. She said she didn’t think that SirGawain’s silence at the moment was from shock, but from depression. He had been hoping that TwentyTall was improving, and that she was a better person. He feels like that relationship is going to fall apart and he is finally eyes open on that. That he’s been abused for so long, that he doesn’t understand that there’s another way.

She called TwentyTall a fucking cunt. She said this isn’t a delicate situation - TwentyTall hit me with a sledgehammer. Right now, I can’t disagree with either of those statements.

I am sad and I am hurt and I am angry. I have never been friends with anger though - that’s part of my therapy, learning to turn toward it rather than away. I don’t get angry on my own behalf, when I should. I can’t sustain it.

I love SirGawain and I want to stay with him. As far as an “endgame” with either him or CornFlower - I don’t have one. I want net positive relationships.
 
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Oh I've had this situation mirrored a few times, but it was crappy person's other partner begging me to stay. As my friend pointed out, that's kinda shitty.
 
Update: Thanks to everyone that helped me with advice about what to do with SirGawain, who allowed my meta, TwentyTall to totally treat me like shit.

I met with him today at a Starbucks, and he said that he had spoken to his other girlfriend, and she apologized profusely. He seemed to think that was the limit of what needed to be done, but I felt like it wasn’t enough. She apologized to HIM, but not to me. I also wanted him to tell me a single concrete step she was taking to work on her jealousy issues, but he couldn’t articulate any. (He said she planned to see him more often.)

After discussing things for about 2 hours, he agreed that he would no long push for TwentyTall and I to interact (I flatly refused to ever spend time with her again) and he promised to firm up his own boundaries. He begrudgingly agreed to start seeing a therapist, because I absolutely would have left him otherwise. If anyone is in the Frederick-Hagerstown-Bethesda-DC area of Maryland, and has a poly-friendly one to recommend, I would love to hear about it!

So anyway, for right now I am still all-in. I know he loves me, but so don’t trust him to have my back when up against her unethical and inappropriate behaviors. Hopefully the therapy will help him recognize that it’s unhealthy, or at the very least, make him more assertive when she is disrespectful.

I had other plans for the evening, so I didn’t stay overnight. Instead I left Frederick and met up with CornFlower. We went to a costume party together - he actually dressed as Shaggy, so I finally got my couples costume! We had a great time. He said I could share a photo.

Here is CornFlower and me tonight as Shaggy & Velma.

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I know you're not one for compliments so please interpret this as envy: damn, I wish I had ankles like yours.

(I've thought the same thing about previous pictures you've posted, too, so none of this "is just the camera angle" nonsense, okay ;) )
 
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My ankles have nothing to do with camera angles! Next to my flabby mid-section, I hate my ankles the most. They are tiny chicken ankles, and they are out of proportion to the rest of my body. They make it impossible to find boots, because they are so small - the boot leg just flops around. Like, I definitely don’t want cankles, but could they at least keep up with the rest of me?!

The camera angles on that picture ARE actually off, to be honest. CornFlower is 5’4” and I am 5’9”. My boobs are actually the size of his entire body. We took a bunch of pictures together and we couldn’t stop laughing because my tits were seriously huge. I will see if I can post one. Seriously, I could crush him with just a single boob! So then we tried to stand to minimize my chest.

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I’ve lost 6 pounds on my first week of low carb, but today PunkRock and I are throwing it all away, because it is CornFlower’s birthday. We are driving to Reston, VA to eat at a fondue place with him and his brother, and we are not skipping out on the melted chocolate. Lol
 
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Gosh what a difference a step forward or back makes!!! I'm giggling along with you :)

I admittedly thought boots would be easier to buy with little ankles (I have full blown cankles, and massive calves, and often can't even wear ankle boots, and almost never ones that come near to my knees).
 
My calves are actually normal size, but most boots just look silly because they squish in at the ankles. Booties/ankle boots are almost impossible to fit. FML

I am exhausted today and can’t seem to keep up with anything. I took two days off from the Blessing Box and I can’t freaking move in my house, as donations are piled up and need sorting. Our blind kitten has been having bouts of diarrhea all over the house - I just ordered some fortiflora but that won’t be here until Wednesday. We had half a packet stashed in my med drawer, so she got some at lunch today, at least. I am tired of scrubbing up puddles of shit. The amount of cleaning needed elsewhere is overwhelming. I need a reset button.
 
I am so tired and I’m feeling out of sorts.

I spent a shit ton of time yesterday making sure my overflow room was in tip-top shape for my class today, so though I felt accomplished, I was super exhausted. I ended up masturbating last night with some help from PunkRock. We were both so tired we fell asleep a little after 9 pm!

He woke me up with some sexy times this morning and we spent most of the AM in bed. I had to get up by 10 though so I could prep for my 1 pm class. Half the kids called out for various reasons, so I was done by 3:30. It was a good class but still, I was tired and it was good to be done early. I spent another couple hours taking care of some clothes sorting. My living room is still chock full of donations for the Blessing Box though. Gah!

CornFlower messaged me this morning about having a date Friday night, maybe. A married chick 45 minutes away. I was like, for real? She wants a long term relationship. I am kind of confused why he would be looking for someone so far away - he has zero dollars for gas and taking women on dates. He can barely afford to go out with me most weekends, and he is often returning purchases for cash due to various reasons. I don’t even want to hear about it, to be honest. She looks hella cute so I understand the attraction, but I don’t even see where he would fit in another weekend dating experience - I have Saturdays, and he spends all day Sunday with his kids. *shrugs* He is welcome to do as he likes, but I am pulled in so many directions - the second shit starts getting messy I am going to bail. I love him and care about him, but I can just imagine the difficulties and I am not looking to add to my stress.

Like, within the first few sentences of texting me about this chick, he told me some intensely personal stuff about her. I called him out on it - that is NOT how you hinge. He told me he can’t help it as he has no filter, and I told him that there was zero chance of me sharing personal info with him at this point, as he just showed he can’t be trusted. Jesus. It was bad stuff. I told him that you don’t share other people’s secrets - he has some personal info that I don’t share around and won’t share around. I think when I told him this it sobered him up a bit. I have zero interest in being a poly dating mentor to him - especially with something so very basic.

Overall I think this is going to be a learning experience for him and not in a good way. I guess I can hope? I am not enthusiastic as I am still feeling down about SirGawain. The more I think about how things happened, the more unhappy I am. I really feel like he is portraying his other girlfriend as the victim in this case, rather than me and him being completely blindsided by her atrocious behavior. I am going to have a sleepover at his place on Thursday. We will see how that goes.

PunkRock got his first paycheck from his new job and it is looking good. I think overall he is going to start kicking an additional $200 a month into the shared account. Which is absolutely necessary, especially since his 401(k) loan is going to cost us $140 a month for the next 3 months to get rid of quickly. I am stressed about finances because the State of the Union meeting we always do in October isn’t really possible, since everything seems to be up in the air. The thought of trying to figure out long term bills makes me ill right now.

I hope I win MegaMillions tonight. That would be pretty sweet.
 
Ok, so CornFlower talked to the polychick some more and they decided against meeting up. Apparently I was right about the distance being an issue - she wanted more time than he had available. She works 4 am to 2 pm, so weekday overnights were never going to happen, so that only left Friday evenings available, and she wanted more than that. He messaged me a bit yesterday about it. I am bummed for him, but I was also a little bit rolling my eyes. I have been in the same situation - so many amazing poly guys, but not enough hours in the day to make dates happen. Anyway, he said he’s going to concentrate on people located along the 81 corridor, but wow - that is so narrow, I am not sure who could turn up. I hope there’s a super cool chick nearby!

Actually, CornFlower called in to work today as he is experiencing some vertigo. He thinks it may be from breaking his diet on Sunday, but I was like, no way dude. Water-salt balance doesn’t suddenly flip like a week later. I think the more likely cause is his change in depression meds. He just ramped up to full dosage a couple of days ago, and he has been experiencing some normal side effects of that. He could also just be, you know, sick. Lol He messaged me early this morning, so my one day to sleep in was messed up. I ran out to the store to get him some Dramamine, and then drove over to his house to give it to him. I didn’t mind terribly, but I am missing my sleepy time!

I’m now behind schedule at my house now too - I was hoping to go to SirGawain’s at noon today, as he is working from home. But, no way is that happening. DarkKnight had a half day, so as soon as I got back, he snagged the car and went to go work out. He promises to come back and we will go to lunch around 12:15. In the meantime, I am messaging and organizing pick ups, and dealing with dropoffs for the Blessing Box. I have six new requests for coats but haven’t had time to take a look and see if we have those sizes. Sigh.
 
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Day 2 of my period. Right on time this month and it’s hitting me hard emotionally. I’m tired and don’t want to get out of bed. My video alert has gone off a couple of times, so I know I need to get up and go fill the Blessing Box this morning. I teach in an hour and a half, so I need to get moving anyway. Sighs I don’t wanna!

I had stress dreams last night. I was at the Ren Faire and ran into WarMan, and we were so excited and happy to see each other. But as the day wore on, it all fell apart. I retreated and then started writing a list about all the reasons SirGawain and I needed to split up. I woke up, angry and irritated, which then just turned into stress and sadness. I don’t know what I am going to do about SirGawain.

Right now I am uncertain about him - so very much. I am hoping to call my therapist this afternoon and get into an appointment for me, and then see if he can recommend someone for SirGawain to see in the DC or Bethesda area. I did finally get to go to see him last Thursday night. It was good sexually, and I felt connected with him after some time had passed. However, I had to shift my regular time with him on Sunday to work on the Blessing Box overflow room. I asked him to drive over and help me so I could finish faster and be with him, but he never showed. He said he had errands he HAD to do. This upset me, more than just a little, to be honest. I have spent countless days in our relationship cleaning and organizing his house, and he couldn’t find the time to spend a couple of hours helping me mark UPC codes? I ended up skipping the sleepover altogether because I definitely wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Right now we don’t have another day day or night set at all. He messaged me to cancel on this coming Sunday, because he is playing some RPG game now. It’s okay though, as I had pre-purchased tickets to go support a bingo event for a local charity. Originally I was going to ask him along, but now instead CornFlower is going to go with me.

My bestie from NY called me last night briefly, and I couldn’t come up with anything positive to say about my relationship with SirGawain, other then the sex is amazing. I might go over there tonight. Ugh - oh no wait, it’s Halloween. I can’t go tomorrow because I have a community meeting scheduled in the evening. Yeah, we just aren’t going to see each other, I guess.

In better news, I am now hosting a weekly Zombicide get together. We are alternating Mondays and Wednesdays, to coincide with PunkRock’s days off from work. It’s me, PunkRock, DarkKnight, CornFlower and our regular gaming buddy who used to play Pandemic Legacy with us. We met on Monday for the first time and we won! We played the first season, first scenario, just to get everyone oriented with the rules, and starting next week we are going to begin the Toxic City Mall expansion.
 
I always love to hear about others playing Zombicide! My husband created his own scenario for a convention we attended, which he ran as part of their scheduled games. When my character searched a room, she found a fire axe and an engagement ring. <3
 
Aww that’s sweet!

I am up early this morning but I will probably go back to sleep after writing this. I was able to get into a cancellation appointment with my therapist today at 2 pm so I am happy about that. I talked to SirGawain this morning and I guess we are going to do dinner and a movie tomorrow night at 8 pm. Later than I’d like, but he made plans for Saturday and Sunday. He thought I was with CornFlower Saturday as usual (I’m not) and he assumed I would come over to his house after my Bingo thing on Sunday (I’m not). I told him this isn’t working and he needs to communicate. I will not be in a relationship where I’m not a priority. He assured me this is the case and he will do better. Part of this is my fault too, so we will see.

Last night we had like 25 kids for Halloween. I gave away full size candy bars. CornFlower came over and we ordered in wings. After he left, PunkRock went to bed immediately and DarkKnight and I stayed up and watched Rent on Netflix. I think he is going to get us tickets for a local show. Yay!

Did I post about PunkRock and I? We’ve been watching the updated AFI best all time movie list, in reverse order. I think we are on #91. Tonight is Goodfellas, anyway. Whatever that number is. Lol I think we may do a thing where we work through Bob Ross’s painting series together, but maybe not til next year. We will be pretty busy over the holidays!
 
Goodfellas is a good movie! I highly recommend it. I talked to PunkRock and we are going to attempt some Joy of Painting episodes together next year. The holidays are hectic so we are going to wait until January to give it a shot. I think it will be fun and I am excited about it!

My therapy appointment yesterday has left me in a weird mood. I have not been wearing my Invisalign braces at all, because I start having panic attacks just thinking about putting them into my mouth. I have canceled a few dental appointments because I can’t handle it. My therapist says he wants me to see a hypnotist. He says if it works, I will be able to get back on track. If not, he wants to start aversion therapy (or something like that as I forget the name) for people who have phobias. He said that could take a long time, so I really hope the hypnosis works! Does anyone have any experience with it? Anyway, this part has me hopeful.

My therapist straight up said I need to break up with SirGawain. He was like, there are red flags all over this, and things are not going to improve in a timely fashion. He said even if SirGawain was super motivated to get into therapy (which he isn’t) it would be a long haul. I was SHOCKED. Like, I didn’t think this was surprising information, but I was not expecting him to be so blunt. It sobered me up, that’s for sure. He told me that someone, in any relationship structure, who was as insecure and jealous as my metamour seems to be, is toxic and needs to work on their problems. If she is not working on anything to improve her issues, and I am just expecting my partner who has been subject to that for 20+ years to suddenly recognize it isn’t healthy, well, it isn’t going to happen. This made me pretty teary. He asked if perhaps they were working as a team to get their jollies off by hurting other unsuspecting partners. That did shock me a lot. Like, no, I don’t believe that about SirGawain at all. I do think he really loves me.

I vacillate back and forth. I love SirGawain. I don’t wanna break up. However, my mental health is so important to me! I worked so very hard to be ready to date again after WarMan - I did TWO separate time frames full of therapy! To think that I could be hurting myself and not healing is worrisome.

I did find a therapist in the area who seems to be poly and kink friendly. I sent the information to SirGawain to see if he had any input but he didn’t say anything about the link. My therapist said I should not make the appointment - it should be about SirGawain recognizing that he needs this, and not be me pushing it.
 
I broke up with SirGawain this morning. I am actually doing okay, for the most part. I have obviously been thinking about this for a while, so I think that helped. I woke up with this renewed sense of urgency about it, and I decided to drive over to his house in spite of the shitty weather. I knew he would be gone at work, so I could go in and get my toiletries, shop vac and pajamas that I had there. The shop vac was the important thing. Then I left his house key and a stack of gift cards that he has been having me hang on to, on his nightstand. I noticed his cat litter boxes hadn’t been emptied since almost two weeks prior - he is so terrible at taking care of things - so I cleaned them. I must be the only woman in the world to be in the middle of leaving a dude yet still be cleaning up after his stuff.

Anyway, I left and then sent him a long text message, telling him I was done with the relationship, and that I hope he’d still go to therapy and fix his life up. Anyway, I knew he would want to reply because he’d probably be hurt, so I waited for a response, and then I deleted him everywhere and blocked him. Basically he said that he used to be very happy but now he was unhappy, so whatever. This actually made me laugh sadly, a little. I bet he’s unhappy - his FWB broke up with him a few weeks ago, I am dumping him now, and I think it’s VERY safe to say that with both of us out of the picture, his other girlfriend will be unmotivated to spend time with him anymore, as she won’t have any reason to care about him again. I feel bad for him, I really do, but once my therapist was so blunt about needing a breakup to happen, something PunkRock said a short while ago kept echoing in my head: he said that SirGawain was selfish, not just in love, but in every facet of his being. Now, he didn’t say this in a cruel way, just kind of matter-of-fact. And the more it echoed, the more so realized it was true.

So, anyway. That’s all done. I am both sad and relieved. It’s a weird feeling, but somewhat similar to how I felt when I broke up with WarMan, to be honest. Of course, that was still so much more intense, as our relationship had been longer and more intense. Anyway, I am going to take some time for myself but I don’t feel like I need a lot of healing time. I am experiencing some grief, but it kinda rolls in and out. Nothing too intense. I think maybe because I knew this would have to happen - the dynamic was unsustainable because it was unhealthy.

I am back on OKCupid, but I actually have been for a short bit, since CornFlower asked me to look up the one chick he was maybe going to go on a date with. I clearly have been getting messages and likes, but since I don’t subscribe or swipe on anyone, I have no idea about who. I figure I am not going to be sexing up anyone new for a while - I need to now wait a month so I can get new STD tests run and close out this chapter on SirGawain before adding any new partners. And my schedule was already full, so I am not exactly excited to start dating. I do want a Dom though. That isn’t going to go away, so eventually I will need to discover someone, somewhere.

I had dinner tonight with SirGawain’s ex-FWB, actually. She is super cool and though we aren’t metamours we still love spending time together. At least, I enjoy it on my end! She was comforting about my breakup. I discovered that SirGawain had actually told a lie at the beginning of our relationship, but it was stupid then and it’s even dumber now. He told me that he only saw his FWB 3-4 times a year. She was miffed about that and said she was actually seeing him frequently until he started seeing me, and then he dropped her like a hot potato. That was kind of weird to hear. Like, I don’t care often he sees his FWB or his girlfriend. Seemed to be a strange thing to lie about. Oh well, like I said, it doesn’t matter at this point.

I had more to talk about but this is already too long.
 
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Interesting development - I’ve been chatting with SirGawain’s FWB’s husband. We all belong to a poly Facebook page and I made a joke about someone needing to date both PowerPuff and me, so I can have her as a metamour again, and her husband posted saying he’s down to see if we matched up at all. I texted him (we were already Facebook friends) and we chatted on and off that day. Yesterday he didn’t send me any messages until late night, so we had a few back and forths before I had to go to sleep. Today, nothing so far. I guess we will see where it goes. We have a 96% match on OKCupid, and his Fet account is pretty good. He told me he wanted to talk about my Fet account on the first day we chatted but he never brought it up again. *shrugs*

In the meantime I have some mutual likes on OKC and a few conversations going. Nothing overly promising, but I am in no hurry. That said, I *am* tired of the entire interface already and hate having to have that app active. I do know that I really don’t want to be doing this - but I really don’t want to give up on possibly having an amazing Dom, so I am willing to put in the time and effort. It’s only been a few days so the fact that I am already exhausted by it doesn’t bode well though. Ugh.

CornFlower came over last night for our Zombicide game night. After 3 hours we lost the first Toxic City Mall expansion scenario. That wasn’t so great. I couldn’t fall asleep for the longest time - I had aches and pains from sitting too long. FML I am seriously an old woman.

I have a list a mile long today. We have a new foster kitty who had a leg amputated yesterday and his care is taking up swaths of time. He’s a sweetheart though. Worth it.
 
I haven’t updated in forever. I have been so very busy and it’s only going to get worse because I keep scheduling things! My Blessing Box is busy with getting coats passed out into the community - I think I’ve given away almost 50 and I have 30 or so in my foster kitten room. No kittens in there now! We are probably on hold until after Christmas for those little buggers, I have to say!

December 2 is the one year anniversary of my Blessing Box, so I am putting together another raffle. I have had a couple of businesses donate prizes, so it’s shaping up to be awesome. Hopefully we sell a bunch of tickets! I let people trade canned goods for tickets too. We have a $100 Walmart gift card, a tubing package to Whitetail and a Scentsy warmer. A local salon donated a $35 gift certificate for a wash & cut. There’s more and they’re all great!

Besides the raffle, I am going to fill my porch with donated Christmas/holiday decorations to give away, and some fancy clothing too.

On top of all this I started a Santa program. Someone donated $75 to buy a 3 ft high North Pole mailbox, and I invited the entire city to write to Santa. Everyone is guaranteed to get a letter back, but some people are getting sponsored and will have an item on their wish list purchased as well. DarkKnight is coloring his beard and hair and we are buying a Santa suit - he will be delivering the sponsored gifts in person! I am excited about this. In the first two days we have gotten in 30 letters. I think it will continue to grow as the days progress. We are inviting not only kids, but adults to send wish lists as well. I had one from a lonely elderly woman arrive in the actual mail today, and she broke my heart. She said everyone she knew had died, she has no family and her cats passed away next year. She said she would like a blanket for her bed for Christmas. :( She is definitely getting sponsored! I had another elderly woman ask for a foldable shower chair. Shit like this makes all the work worth it. I stepped down from the charity board that I have done for the last dozen years up in New York, FINALLY this year. It stung a bit because I know I was an integral part of its existence. Not gonna lie. However, it’s time I turned an eye to my own town and focus on helping build a community!

Today we got pummeled with snow and freezing rain and you can skate down my sidewalk. We had maybe 6 visitors to theBlessing Box all day, so that was a nice change. I spent my time rearranging my living room to make room for my Christmas tree. I plan on putting it up on Saturday - CornFlower says he will come help. I hope he does. It is a real important thing for me; it’s one of the most significant parts of my Christmas. So anyway, I cleaned my living room,rearranged furniture and then spent 2 hours sorting trash bags full of donated clothing that have been piled behind my sofa. It was good to get that knocked down! I seriously need staff to run the Blessing Box efficiently. It’s just me and whenever I can cajole DarkKnight and PunkRock to assist.
 
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