Lovewithus
New member
let me start off by saying I'm very new to this. I grew up like most people being told but the dream is to find that special someone, marry them, have kids and grow old together. Only one problem with that... I found that special someone and she found a special someone. Needless to say its not me, but I guess that's my mind thinking an old ways. I guess what I'm really saying here is my dream girl, the woman I love and long for fell in love with a friend she went on a once in a lifetime road trip with. As the story is usually go, girl and guy meet, girl and guy don't see each other for a while, girl goes to a wedding that he's going to that's in the middle of the desert, they end of spending a week under the stars, inebriated on life and booze.now me and her are not anything official. In fact she works with me at the company I run. its a creative company, not your typical business. Even the work doesn't actually feel like work. we spend everyday changing people's lives. this guy works for a coffee and chocolate shop. Should be a no contest right? Now I hate this part of me is in me. I don't dislike the guy, if anything I respect him. He got the one woman in Chicagowho everybody wants to tell him she loves him. He can't be all that bad. Now she's never told me directly that she loves me, but quoting Shakespeare cleaning my place when I'm away, the fact that because of her I'm vegan now because of that we share a lot more in common deeper than just two people who like the same food. I know she cares. But when we're together she text him, they send a little video send pictures. He lights off her world the way she lights up mine. I know there's several reasons why my relationship, and she'd be annoyed if I use that word around her, and his relationship with her, again she be annoyed even about that, is very different. Hers is based on an adventure, a vacation, a wedding, the easy stuff. Mind based on working with people, creating things, and yes job. Funny thing is I'm here and he's 2000 miles away. Yet I can't make her feel the same way he makes her feel with a text message. She told me there is no second place, that me and him a very different people and thus way she loves us is very different too. I've never thought about being in a situation like this except in fantasy, or maybe when I was writing a script, or a song. I never thought that it would really mean to love someone and not have 100 of their love back.I know this is who she is, and that's one of the reasons that I love her so much, her endless heart.I'll end with this, not even sure if anyone will actually read this or respond. I realize that me not having somebody else in my picture is probably what makes this so hard. In the same right I found the girl of my dreams so anyone else, as of right now, feels like settling.I don't want to be jealous of the guy, I want to be happy when she does things without me. I know when she goes on a trip next, it'll be to see him. I need to figure out how to be okay with that, because the alternative is not an option in my mind. Not having her, not loving her, it's like a human trying to fly without any help. Gravity, like the love I have for her, has a hold on me. I don't know that I'll ever let go. But I do know one thing, I'm here, when things get tough, when the rent is due, when there's no food her place, when she needs to cry because she misses him. I'm here, just wish you didn't feel like I was the one 2 thousand miles away.