I find myself with a conundrum. I love T (husband) I love B (lover) but I have issues not being turned on by T while B drives me wild. Once the act is taking place I function just fine with T. I enjoy our foreplay & touching I just don't have the sexual response to him that he would like. I think part of it extends from hurt feelings due to rejection. For most of our marriage we were doing well to have sex 3 times a year. We went 2 years without sex before I took action on our open marriage. We had talked about it several times & he had given consent so I wasn't cheating when I did take a lover. Fast forward to the last 6 months when we've had more sex than we had for the last 12 years. It's great once the act is in progress.
This past weekend B & his wife stayed with us to work on some projects around the house. B & I slept in the guest room while T & B's wife took our bedroom. T & wife (C) apparently had amazing sex during which she had a response she hadn't had in years. T & B took some time to sit down & talk about our relationships. That went well & B is thrilled that T & C have rediscovered passions together as he & I have. The issue is that T tried to initiate sex with me this morning & my lack of response left him hurt & frustrated. Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the physical contact but didn't respond to his expectations. I feel terrible that it leaves him feeling inadequate but at the same time I can't force a physical response. I'm just unsure as to where this leaves me. I hate that this is hurting him.
This past weekend B & his wife stayed with us to work on some projects around the house. B & I slept in the guest room while T & B's wife took our bedroom. T & wife (C) apparently had amazing sex during which she had a response she hadn't had in years. T & B took some time to sit down & talk about our relationships. That went well & B is thrilled that T & C have rediscovered passions together as he & I have. The issue is that T tried to initiate sex with me this morning & my lack of response left him hurt & frustrated. Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the physical contact but didn't respond to his expectations. I feel terrible that it leaves him feeling inadequate but at the same time I can't force a physical response. I'm just unsure as to where this leaves me. I hate that this is hurting him.