Just found my way to this forum for the first time looking for some resources. Read a lot of other posts trying to find something relevant to my situation. Seems like most people posting on here are asking for advice, so I guess i'll do the same.
Background
My wife and I have been together for 6 years. We started as a closed triad and when our ex left the situation we were open to the idea of another third but took a multi year break from that even though the idea was still on the table. In the last 9 months we decided to ditch all of the rules we had in place about just dating people together and go completely open poly. We have dated one woman together for the summer, and separately we have gone out with roughly 6 to 9 people each. All of those have ended up being just casual dates or a casual one or two time hook up other than a woman that i have been dating regularly and increasingly seriously for 5 months now.
The wife and I had our ups and downs but for the most part, poly books, podcasts, some therapy, and lots of communication have gotten us though the starting poly roadbumps and into a pretty comfortable situation with relatively little drama for how rocky that situation can be.
My wife had no problem at all with my relationship with my girlfriend at first. She was fine the first time we went away for the weekend together. Has gotten used to us spending 2 nights a week together. The three of us spent new years together very comfortably. But recently my wife has been starting to feel like now that the girlfriend is a part of most things in my life, from holidays to my friend circle, that she has lost something. She is having a hard time not feeling displaced by my new relationship.
So i'm looking for advice both for my wife to help process the source of these feelings, and for me to find ways that I can effectively be supportive of her needs and find a way to reinforce how important she is to me so that she wouldn't have to feel insecure. Any personal stories, tips, or reading materials would be appreciated.
Background
My wife and I have been together for 6 years. We started as a closed triad and when our ex left the situation we were open to the idea of another third but took a multi year break from that even though the idea was still on the table. In the last 9 months we decided to ditch all of the rules we had in place about just dating people together and go completely open poly. We have dated one woman together for the summer, and separately we have gone out with roughly 6 to 9 people each. All of those have ended up being just casual dates or a casual one or two time hook up other than a woman that i have been dating regularly and increasingly seriously for 5 months now.
The wife and I had our ups and downs but for the most part, poly books, podcasts, some therapy, and lots of communication have gotten us though the starting poly roadbumps and into a pretty comfortable situation with relatively little drama for how rocky that situation can be.
My wife had no problem at all with my relationship with my girlfriend at first. She was fine the first time we went away for the weekend together. Has gotten used to us spending 2 nights a week together. The three of us spent new years together very comfortably. But recently my wife has been starting to feel like now that the girlfriend is a part of most things in my life, from holidays to my friend circle, that she has lost something. She is having a hard time not feeling displaced by my new relationship.
So i'm looking for advice both for my wife to help process the source of these feelings, and for me to find ways that I can effectively be supportive of her needs and find a way to reinforce how important she is to me so that she wouldn't have to feel insecure. Any personal stories, tips, or reading materials would be appreciated.