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Old 09-12-2018, 05:08 PM
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polyaccidental91 polyaccidental91 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Maine, USA
Posts: 6
Smile Hello from Maine! a little insight from me

Accidentally Poly
OK, so, due to the crazy circumstances of my hectic life, i rarely get to talk of how i "discovered" my polyamorous nature, and have been dying to share. First off, I had no idea such a word or lifestyle even existed, it was months before my desperate researching caused me to stumble upon Polyamory and its definition, which fit me so exactly, it was like a light bulb suddenly lit up my confused and disoriented self.
My husband and I met in high school. We've been a couple since the eighth grade, so obviously neither of us did much self exploration. However, five years ago, our marriage hit an all time low. we had two kids in diapers, bills we couldn't pay, vehicle issues, work issues, you name it. On top of that, emotionally and physically, we weren't connecting the way we used to. So, my husband decided to try something, and I agreed, and we arranged a threesome with a close friend of ours. I know, right? two major faux pas right there. We are the typical cliche. This experience, however, is why i call myself Accidentally Poly, bcause the strangest few months began to unravel after that first night. I caught feelings, as they are calling it these days, but those feelings I caught added to rather than replacing the ones i already had. My husband was distraught. He couldnt understand how i could still be in love with him, and feel so strongly towards our friend. He couldnt understand how this newly changed relationship could not simply return to its platonic state. Truthfully, I was just as confused. We were raised in a society where you could only be in love with one person, right? so i must choose, I have to love one of these men so much more than the other. Except i didnt.
I wont go into too much detail about the month in between my discovery of my self and my expanded capacity for love, and my life changing discovery of a word, and a world, i hadnt known existed, just that it was utter emotional chaos. For all three of us.
So, Imagine my relief and joy, and yes, excitement, when i dug the very description of what i was feeling, of who I truly am, out of the internet. Discovering that there was a whole community of people who also had this, it truly saved me. Had I not stumbled upon Polyamory, I would have continued to try to shove my heart shaped self into the square box that is monogamy.
And, I am happy to report, that through several rough patches, and many little speed bumps, late night discussions, and high volume disagreements ( i'm irish, it happens, lol), My husband, My boyfriend, and Myself will be celebrating 5 years since that first stumble on september 21st of this year. So many things have changed, but our love is a constant reminder that we can make it through anything this world throws at us.
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beginnings, discovery, non monogamy, poly, three people

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