Poly since the start of the year, looking for situation advice.

I want to share that when i was the OP's age, i had a relationship with someone 19 years older than myself. They didn't have a high tolerance for bullshit. I learned a lot from that relationship, which ended when I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL at age 21!!!!! BUT it was because the OTHER person broke up with ME to be with someone closer to their age!!! I wanted to pull a crazy on that person, but i knew that if they already broke up with me, pulling a crazy would not make them reconsider.

It is now 20 years later and we are still good friends. I am apparently the ONLY ex of this person that they are still in touch with, including the person they dumped me for.

This is why i know what i'm talking about here.
 
Well... what are your priorities?

Personally I don't believe that the institution of marriage is required to have a commitment. It doesn't right to me that we would need a ring or a legal document or an expensive ceremony to remind ourselves who we love and why. Just my opinion.

Also don'tcha think you may be trying to force things too quickly? Why is important that you get married so soon? If she wants to push it back AND you're developing a relationship with another partner maybe you should just take it one step at a time...

I've also been dating an older woman for about a year now. She's 64. And I'm 23. I've learned a lot from her and I love her more than anything words could explain. We have really developed and continue to develop the most amazing exchange there could ever be between people from such different backgrounds and generations. We are equals and knowing her has freed me from myself.

What would I do if I were you?
Learn to drive. Get your own transport. You're 20 this should already be a done deal but go for it.
Then I'd say go to college! Live that college life! Get the degree in whatever just get it done and over with. I have yet to get my associates due to life stuff and finances but I'm working on it still, just a step at a time.

Don't forget that you are your own person.
Don't forget that you're STILL A KID! hell I'm 23 and I have changed so much and seen so much and I have done so much since I was 20. Man that feels like forever ago...
And get this.. I'm still just a goofball kid. Don't get caught up in the Flatland Rodeo so quickly it'll come in it's own time if that's what you choose.
 
Maybe she likes the idea of you being dependent on her.

Don't forget that she lived monogamously for 15 years (I'm assuming) it's quite possible that she is still operating in that pattern of expecting whatever it is that she has come to expect over the course of her life.

Don't repress yourself for anyone's happiness be true to yourself and your actions and everything else will fall in place around that foundation.
 
Thanks guys, over the past day or so, the old man gave an ultimatum, he wants me fiance all to himself or not at all, so we have to make a choice before her will see her again. I large part of me just wants to push for splitting a room with some people for seven months then going to school next spring and learning to drive them while I'm taking my general courses and save for a car at that time, hell, couldn't I just take additional loans and buy one?
 
I called off the engagement tonight when she got home.

We had sex earlier and I wanted to puke afterwords and I knew I had to end it, she'll be helping me find a job and a place to live and I'll be out of her hair as soon as possible. She's taking it really, really well.
 
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