What if he doesn't really love his wife?

Oh yes. Definitely some bad hinge work going on his part.
The most telling part is that a conversation about why he won't divorce his wife to be with the OP (so unhelpful!). It should be huge blaring tell that the guy who does want his children raised in a divorced household is talking about having a kid with a person he is neither married to nor cohabitational. Maybe he is influencing this competitive vibe for his marital equalizer. Not nice to play with hearts.
 
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