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  #921  
Old 09-29-2018, 02:17 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Weds with Prof was interesting, we had a bit of talk about dating and partners. He told me a long time ago that lies because he can and does it to see if people ever call him out on it, ego in extremis. He is spinning his monogamous gf lies and half truths, he spins me a number of lies too, I know him well enough to now know when he does and I just don't care. I did tell him he might want to be honest with her and let her make an informed choice. He said she doesn't want to know about his dating life. She sounds like me a couple of years ago, head in the sand and hoping he will change. It has made me look at Mr Lime in a new light.

Mr Lime, Thursday night. I went and did my volunteering at the kid's school for an hour or so and then we had a great time. NRE! Lots of talking, he asks me a lot of questions about me which is very thought provoking. Sex twice and ready to move into some BDSM play. He said he wants to talk to more in detail about pain first. In some ways he is very wild, Army helicopter pilot before moving moving into regular work which requires him to be very detail oriented. It is funny watching him pack his bag so carefully and organized when naked with his long braids down to his very nice round ass. I like being fucked by a man with Predator hair.

He said he was telling his friend about me and has 3 things he notices, very intelligent, funny and driven. I was quite flattered!

Lots of STD talk, we are both going to HIV done as the minimum, as see what else we can finagle through insurance. It is likely to only be a few of the main ones. He wants to fluid bond, not using those exact words. I asked him if he usually is the go-full-steam-ahead with relationships type, as this all very fast for me, he said no, but understands my concerns. I really feel like doing the chocolate covered boyfriend monogamy thing. He told me about his out of state FWB and the he would break up with her on his next trip. I told him I was fine with him not breaking up with her but there would be the expectation that they would use condoms. I told him that I had other people too. It feels like if things go well ( NRE is crazy ) that we might slide into monogamy. But I am in no rush to make any big moves or changes. The monogamy path is one I think I want to walk on occasion and then find that monogamy is really not for me. I have a huge capacity to care.

We met for a bit briefly after work today ( NRE stolen minutes ) and took a walk around the park. He invited me out of state again, I said no, but kind of opened up to it when I was driving home. When do I ever say no to travel. He said he will look at flights.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female.
Prof: late 50s. 5+ years.
Mr Dom: early 50s . Ex BF and now good friend.
Mr Six: early 50s. FWB for 3+ years.
Mr Lime: Early 50s. Recent meet. Kinky Dom.
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  #922  
Old 10-05-2018, 05:59 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Mr Lime doesn't want to do open relationships or polyamory or any version of non-monogamy. He wants to just date one person.
We had an extensive discussion about him still being married and his FWB and that he has been doing some form of open relationship and/or informed non-monogamy for a period of time, at least a year. He said he doesn't want to do that anymore. He said he and his wife officially called the marriage off in May after 21 years. Very short recovery time.
I didn't ask if he will officially file for divorce, I get the feeling he won't anytime soon, kids, house, taxes etc. I said that I am not asking him for any change in what he does, I am not asking him to stop seeing his, or, as he calls describes it, his FWB, or to stop having conjugal visits with the wife, but says he wants a monogamous relationship.

I am certainly taken aback by this. I just don't know. My conversation with Prof last week was quite the eye-opener, his whole " Ms Cherry doesn't want to know so I don't tell," discussion. Ms Cherry is holding out for Prof to give up his non-monogamous ways and has no idea that I have been in his life for over 5 years. Prof offers what he can with time. I can't do Ms Social Hostess but Ms Cherry has ( I have picked this up over time ) body issues and prefers vanilla sex. Prof has treated me very poorly at times but also, in his own way, been there for me and the kids; I wouldn't be sitting in this house if not for him. He has worked his latest out of the country trip to be back in time for the wedding, we fly out tomorrow. He has paid for everything and I believe him when he says he values my family. Do I cut Prof off because of someone I met 2 months ago?

I simply don't have a consistent view of of what kind of relationship model I want. It changes from hour to hour and day to day. Mostly, I come back to the idea that I don't want an adult male in my house 24/7, that is why solo poly has worked for me. But sometimes I think I want the full-time thing. I did try it with Mr Dom but when he moved into my town it became overwhelming and he moved back down to his original town and then moved a distance away.
A number of years ago there was "Joe" who floated the idea of moving closer to me, I was not into that idea at all. Mr PoD had a meltdown because I wouldn't commit to just him ( although he wanted other partners too ).

Mr Lime wants us to date and see where it goes. The idea of one person scares the crap out of me. You can only care for one person? Only have sex with one person? I am not a fan of the word "love", I think I 'like" and "care" are more my style. I have so much "care" . I don't want to be limited in the number of adult male partners that I can "care" about. I am poly"care"amous. Deep, long lasting care. With a capital C, Care. I don't fall into love or out of love easily, I don't even understand romantic love, but I do really really care.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female.
Prof: late 50s. 5+ years.
Mr Dom: early 50s . Ex BF and now good friend.
Mr Six: early 50s. FWB for 3+ years.
Mr Lime: Early 50s. Recent meet. Kinky Dom.

Last edited by Atlantis; 10-05-2018 at 06:01 AM.
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  #923  
Old 10-13-2018, 12:07 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Lots of good things. The wedding weekend was just wonderful, hanging out with the cousins for the first time in 15 years! We had lots of periods in life where we lived very close to each other and we were more like siblings. Prof got on well with everyone and took great photos. He told me that whole weekend trip would be his treat! Wow! I was very much stressing about how to cover it, I know he would have let me make payments or it would have burned up most of my signing bonus.
Continuing with Prof; Weds night, I was in bed and his cell phone rings, I know he will be up in a minute and I never would answer it. It rings again. So I start to get out of bed to go get him, 2 phone calls late at night = urgent, then the house phone rings. The house phone has an old style answering machine so I got hear the entirety of Ms Cherry's message. " I love you, why won't you answer your phone etc." So when Prof came upstairs I said we need to talk about this and we did. He said he is very clear with her that monogamy is not an option. I said she is crossing the line into demanding girlfriend. He made a few excuses, like she's out of town, lonely, wont be around his birthday... I said we all text before we call, no-one ( and I'm including other partners ) would call on a night that was not theirs for anything less than a real issue and she has just called 3 times on a night that you haven't been free for years. She left a magazine on the table with her name and address, Prof told her not to but she did anyway. ( she maintains that she doesn't want anyone of the other partners to know who she is ). There are other things but she is trying to stake her claim publicly. He asked me what I think he should do and I said I am saying anything about what you should do but are you aware this is escalating into drama? He said is but is trying to ignore it and calm it down. My reply is that I am not willing to have girlfriend bleed-over again. I have done it twice already and a third time is just too much. He is just as responsible as they are because he is the repeating link.
He questioned if I am breaking up with him over it. I reassured him that I am not. He said he really doesn't want that, in fact he wants me to start calendaring again and start setting up weekend time as well as set dates for next summer. I was pretty shocked at this and told him that my calendaring fanaticism used to be something he complained about, he admitted that he had but he he actually missed it since I had stopped doing it and it was important to him to get some time other than Wednesdays secured. He said that things with us are good, he loves me deeply, loves my family and will not throw the relationship away due to other partner drama. He wanted reassurance that I am in it for the long term too. He said he regrets how the other relationships impacted us in the past and pointed out that nearly all our problems ever have been because of the other partners. Umm yes!
I did point out that I am pretty crap with the socializing thing, like I see "real girlfriends" participate with (like his friends in the city that he does partner dinners and things with ) and he said yes but that I know all his real friends and he is fine with me keeping the socializing to our local town and he can take other partners to that kind of thing. It feels like, and the conversation pointed to, he wants me to be his "real girlfriend" moving forward.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female.
Prof: late 50s. 5+ years.
Mr Dom: early 50s . Ex BF and now good friend.
Mr Six: early 50s. FWB for 3+ years.
Mr Lime: Early 50s. Recent meet. Kinky Dom.
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  #924  
Old 10-13-2018, 04:38 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Part II

So the calendaring thing. Makes me nervous, as I am a scheduler in recovery, but Mr Lime is also asking for dates. I did connect a non-work electronic calendar to my phone, I have been avoiding doing that.

I had quite a long text chat with Mr Lime over the scheduling and time expectations. I asked him about phone chat, he said pretty much anytime but he may not be able to answer. I said I do a " phone talk?" text before calling so random calls aren't likely. I also said I would like to phone talk every once in a while as the schedules mean we are likely to only see each other once a week and often times less. He is very open to that, not a phone-call-phobe.

We worked out that we will see each other on second Thursdays at his place and he actually wanted full weekends at mine when I don't have the kids but we compromised on the Saturday nights. I am offering Prof a few Friday nights plus I have friends to see and frequently just want to be home.

Last night with Mr Lime was fun if embarrassing. He mixed very strong margaritas and I really wasn't prepared for how strong, so I had a few. And it was one of those moments when the alcohol hits you at one go and bam! I was really drunk at 6pm. We had some great sex. He used his hands and my arms and legs to pin me. Very strong restraint. Luckily, I am keeping up with the yoga so could bend as requested We are working up to a full-on BDSM session but it would need to be at my house which won't be for a few weeks.

Lots of NRE. We are text chatting a lot when I am at work. He keeps asking me what I want from a relationship and I am being honest and saying I really don't know, it changes. I want sex, communication, caring love, but not 24/7, I want my free time too. I have no desire for a live-in lover. Maybe that part will change one day.

The embarrassing part of last night was being asleep by 7:30pm. We had plans to go out into town for dinner and a walkabout. I woke up at 2am to pee and we had sex at some time in the middle of the night. but apart from that, I was asleep for around 11 hours. I was disappointed that we didn't get to spend real time together but I was so tired from all the activity of the past 2 weeks that 2 strong margaritas and lots of orgasms and I was out like a light!

Och well. It is likely we will continue to see each other and he was fine about it.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female.
Prof: late 50s. 5+ years.
Mr Dom: early 50s . Ex BF and now good friend.
Mr Six: early 50s. FWB for 3+ years.
Mr Lime: Early 50s. Recent meet. Kinky Dom.
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  #925  
Old Today, 06:13 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,006
Default

Had to do a schedule shift with Prof due to work so we just had a booty call on the way out the door he said, " I love you."
That is so uncommon that I had to blog it!
Neither of us are big on the " I love yous." I do go through occasional bouts of trying to say it more but it never lasts long.

We did have the big discussion last week where he thought a lot of his lovers, including Ms Cherry, were very interested in the money. I said I really didn't care and was with him long before he started what he is doing now, if all the money disappeared then he would still have a roof over his head with me. I said I have loved and cared about him for years, a deep love, I accept him for being the git that he can be, he annoys me, we get frustrated with other, but its pretty much a long haul thing at this point. He was very much in agreement and said he hope I know if anything ever happens to me then he will take over everything financial for the boys.

Chit chatting away with Mr Lime while he is away. I texted tonight that I should message less and retain an air of mystery. The big texting trap is one I fall into often. But he said he really enjoys it and the connection is important to him. He is a more " out in the open" emotional person than I am, keeps asking what I want in a relationship. He said tonight that he would like to spend New Year's eve with me. I will have the kids but said we could out for a few hours. I don't think I have made it to midnight at New Years for years!

I am really enjoying him. Very, very smart but with a wild side. He sent me pics from a leather place, the type where you buy pieces of leather. He is going to make me some restraints but his favorite thing to make is collars! He puts jewel studs in them! Sounds very sexy.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female.
Prof: late 50s. 5+ years.
Mr Dom: early 50s . Ex BF and now good friend.
Mr Six: early 50s. FWB for 3+ years.
Mr Lime: Early 50s. Recent meet. Kinky Dom.
Reply With Quote
  #926  
Old Today, 06:14 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,006
Default

Had to do a schedule shift with Prof due to work so we just had a booty call on the way out the door he said, " I love you."
That is so uncommon that I had to blog it!
Neither of us are big on the " I love yous." I do go through occasional bouts of trying to say it more but it never lasts long.

We did have the big discussion last week where he thought a lot of his lovers, including Ms Cherry, were very interested in the money. I said I really didn't care and was with him long before he started what he is doing now, if all the money disappeared then he would still have a roof over his head with me. I said I have loved and cared about him for years, a deep love, I accept him for being the git that he can be, he annoys me, we get frustrated with other, but its pretty much a long haul thing at this point. He was very much in agreement and said he hope I know if anything ever happens to me then he will take over everything financial for the kids.

Chit chatting away with Mr Lime while he is away. I texted tonight that I should message less and retain an air of mystery. The big texting trap is one I fall into often. But he said he really enjoys it and the connection is important to him. He is a more " out in the open" emotional person than I am, keeps asking what I want in a relationship. He said tonight that he would like to spend New Year's eve with me. I will have the kids but said we could out for a few hours. I don't think I have made it to midnight at New Years for years!

I am really enjoying him. Very, very smart but with a wild side. He sent me pics from a leather place, the type where you buy pieces of leather. He is going to make me some restraints but his favorite thing to make is collars! He puts jewel studs in them! Sounds very sexy.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female.
Prof: late 50s. 5+ years.
Mr Dom: early 50s . Ex BF and now good friend.
Mr Six: early 50s. FWB for 3+ years.
Mr Lime: Early 50s. Recent meet. Kinky Dom.
Reply With Quote
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