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  #11  
Old 07-21-2018, 08:19 PM
1234567 1234567 is offline
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Keep on alert for signs of freezing. I am a trauma survivor,’and the only trouble I ever had was with a girlfriend who couldn’t read stop signs and me being explicitl with what was too much (overstimulation with pressure on my skin, not anything one would think) didn’r help, as she couldn’t grasp when it was a problem.


When I got in trouble— I froze. I couldn’t say no or stop, as I could with anyone else, I could just endure. The only sign she could have picked up is that I was still, and not into it.

So, keep checking in, and if in doubt, stop, and wait.

The upside— if she’s enjoying it and you check in— you get to hear it!
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  #12  
Old 07-25-2018, 07:06 PM
PennyCantrip PennyCantrip is offline
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I can’t really add much to this in the way of advice, as I feel like many of the points I would make have already been covered by others; constant check-ins, consent affirmations, finding where the boundaries are any not touching them until the trust is there, etc. but it sounds like you’re both very self-aware and that regardless of whether penetrative sex comes into play, you have the foundation of a really positive experience that stays mindful of abuse triggers and respects boundaries. That, in and of itself, will hopefully be a fulfilling experience, both for her and for yourself.
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