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Old 03-15-2016, 03:58 PM
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Spork Spork is offline
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Default Taming Your Mammoth

This article has nothing to do with polyamory specifically. I am sharing it here because part of being successfully polyamorous...in fact, part of being successful at anything PERIOD, especially relationships, is being ~self aware~.

What does that even mean?

It's a challenge. Well, in talks with one of our other posters here, I have run up against something I've encountered with others, and occasionally in myself. Pinning all of your identity and self-worth on a relationship, on the opinion and love and acceptance and validation of another person, to the point where losing them shakes the very foundations of your reality and can even threaten your desire to continue living. See, this has nothing to do with that other person. It's got EVERYTHING to do with you, the person who cannot live without so-and-so. You are listening to your mammoth.

Anyhow, it's a great read:

http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/06/taming...-run-life.html

Me: "I can be anyone! Anyone who would please you! Want me to wear a dress? I can wear a dress! Please, please tell me who to be for you..."
Disastrous fling guy: "I...actually...I'm kinda losing interest. I have a thing. To do. I'm uh...busy...watching the Republican Debate with my cats tonight. Sorry!"
Me: "I'M WORTHLESS TO THE PEOPLE I WANT TO LOVE ME AND I'LL NEVER BE HAPPY AND EVERYTHING SUCKS NOW."

Stupid mammoth is stupid.
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Spork 39 F
Zen Sadist late 50's, M - Sadomasochistic Top, Lover, Nesting Partner. My all around wonderful Man Person.

Analyst, Fire & Hefe My poly quad from August 2015 to July 2016. Still dear & loved friends.

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Q- 16, Son

Old Wolf- Ex Husband
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  #2  
Old 03-20-2016, 12:51 AM
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Tri46guy Tri46guy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spork View Post
It is a great read - thanks for sharing this.
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Old 06-30-2017, 10:37 PM
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BathedInSalt BathedInSalt is offline
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Love this. Thank you.
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Old 07-01-2017, 04:04 AM
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WildColonial WildColonial is offline
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I know this is an old post, but I really liked that article!
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Me - 42/F/gender nonconforming/pansexual
Starbucks (fka R)- 39/F/trans/homoflexible - my fiancee
Actor (fka K1) - 40/F/cis/pansexual - queerplatonic housemate
Techie (fka L) - 41/F/trans/lesbian - dating, FWB, and potential sub to me, semi-long-distance
Musician (fka M1) - 53/F/trans/lesbian - my GF, local
Mistress (fka A) - 37/F/trans/queer - R's new play partner, potential Domme, local
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  #5  
Old 04-20-2018, 03:18 AM
Northerner Northerner is offline
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Default Great Article

That resonates a lot. I see a lot of my younger very insecure self in the characteristics described. As the article says, you never fully banish the mammoth, I still have to work to keep him under control.
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Old 04-26-2018, 12:12 PM
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endusal endusal is offline
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Glad you bumped this up, I found it very helpful, too.
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  #7  
Old 05-25-2018, 09:59 PM
HurtandConfused HurtandConfused is offline
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Very good read; especially with the forums focus in mind.
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Old 06-25-2018, 08:54 PM
tryingtobecontent tryingtobecontent is offline
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I got so much out of this. Fantastic way of explaining negative thinking. Thank you for sharing.
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