Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-26-2009, 01:17 PM
MRC2009 MRC2009 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 15

Originally Posted by greenearthal View Post
I live in Western NY (Buffalo). If you live anywhere near Rochester I know they have a poly group that meets monthly and has some very nice folks in it.
Thank you GreenEarth! I don't live near Rochester. I live about 2 hours West of Albany. Sorry I can't be more specific, I just don't want to post my exact city. At least not on the open forum.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2009, 09:04 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Vegas, Baby!
Posts: 348

OMG MRC, I'm sorry! I didn't men to make you cry or to upset you!

Re-reading my post, that was incredibly insensitive of me. After reading through the entire thread I was just so worked up; a fe of the other replies touched on my feelings but just didn't say what my sarcastic but serious side just HAD to let out after all that.

I'm glad you saw the positive in it, but I don't want to push you into a thought process of fellig badly. You chose to be with your husband for a reason, there must be good in him, there are reasons you fell in love with him. Hopefully as you consider those things, he can get in touch with those reasons he fell for YOU, too.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2009, 09:28 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

MRC-above all else-remember just as you have emotions and "baggage" in your life, so does your husband (and all of the rest of us too).

No one can say for sure what will happen with your marriage. Especially while he's feeling unable to talk freely. But that doesn't mean you can't keep progressing for YOU.
No person can handle living a different lifestyle for the sheer purpose of "appeasement" of a partner indefinately.
So please-don't force yourself.
DO be openminded-
DO face your own fears and concerns.
DO talk and read with us to get the most info you can.

But DON'T pretend to be something you aren't.

Many people think they are mono-and they aren't-they were just TAUGHT it was the only way. They can handle living mono or poly usually.

Many people just ARE mono (like Mono on here) and they may or may not be able to handle being mono in a relationship with a poly (Mono is, many can't).

Many people just are Poly (like me) and they generally can't manage to be in a mono relationship forever, though many may manage significantly long relationships that way.

But MOST people (imho) haven't a clue because they weren't exposed to the possibility of options in relationships.

Feel welcomed here, read other threads, get to know us-learn about yourself in the process. It will take you to beautiful places no matter what happens with your husband.
We all (including him) must keep growing, maturing and learning in life. It can be scary when we think that indoing so we might lose someone because of it-but really we can never MAKE someone stay and saying I DO isn't a guarantee. We have to give everyone grace to do whatever it is that they need to do to continue to grow.

HMA-you are sweet!
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2009, 06:56 AM
Legion's Avatar
Legion Legion is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 114

I'm not telling you to break up w/ your husband at all, but I wanted to share something my dad said to me many years ago:
There are three basic things that two people can do in a relationship.

1. They can remain static, the way they were when they started the relationship.
2. They can grow together.
3. They can grow apart.

The only really unfavorable path IMO is #1.

Getting out and meeting some people is a great idea. On here it's nice to have your support network, but it's also nice to have some IRL peeps to give you hugs and look you in the eye and tell you how much they cherish you. Reading your post, I was wishing I lived in your area so I could have you over! Other coast though...
Often he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been rent asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him...and he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2009, 04:45 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Vegas, Baby!
Posts: 348

I wish I could meet these spammers in person. I really do.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:50 AM.