Couple-hunting in Unicornia

Good luck on the weight loss journey! You can do it! :D

Ry
 
So I met Vanilla yesterday and she said that although she enjoys my company she would wish that I don't text her all the time. It's a small request but it hurt me badly. I just want her to know I think about her during the day.

I don't particularly like to get texts all day either. It's distracting and then, I feel obligated to respond... Pick a time and then text her once about the same time each day instead of random texts all day.

BU, I am really wondering why you went back to Vanilla. In addition to having BPD, wasn't she quite abusive to you? Don't you think you can meet new people, more loving and nurturing people, to have in your life?

Then again, a little more distance may not be so bad.
 
I had a discussion with Vanilla yesterday about what is our poly ideal. Hers is a triad or a vee with her as the hinge, with one man and one woman as co-primaries, and two or three more casual relationships.

I had trouble imagining my dream poly situation. I think I'm living it. I'm becoming more and more comfortable with focusing on relationships instead of relationship structures.

I'm not completely poly saturated though. There's this one girl I'm going to see tomorrow who seriously interests me. She doesn't know I'm poly; heck, I suspect she doesn't even know of poly. But a girl can dream, right?

And I'm feeling a lot better about the texting. It's a habit, and like habits, can be unlearned.
 
She's just not that into you

Vanilla asked if we could be just friends in the traditional meaning of the word. I'm disappointed, but my sponsor encouraged me with reminding me that the relationship doesn't need to end; it's just changed, and not all the people in my life are meant to be lovers. He said I should focus on building emotionally based friendships instead.
 
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