nycindie
Active member
I have left lots of jobs, and it always feels better when you leave for a better opportunity, rather than because it was killing you. If you move toward something instead of running away from something, it's usually quite empowering.So maybe I should work on getting a new job and just drag this one out, til it just dies on its own. But that sounds so sad, I want to just put it down now and walk away happy.
I knew someone that was a stripper and she had to fight really hard to protect her self-esteem, not because of anything in her but because of the environment, the kinds of men that were drawn to her, and some of the insecurities and craziness or sleaziness of her co-workers. Not to mention the drugs. As for myself, I've never been a stripper, but I worked in bars, clubs, and restaurants for many years and so I know how insidious that lifestyle and atmosphere is; it creeps into so many areas of your life and you don't realize it until you are not in it anymore. Bar culture is very addicting, but there are so many wounded people hanging in places like that to indulge themselves and try to obliterate their pain. It can be very toxic after a while, both psychologically and physically. I worked in those environments for about thirteen years, and I still can't regulate my sleep patterns, even though I've not bartended for over ten years.
If you need the money, why not be on the schedule until your license is due for renewal, and look for something new in the meantime? It seems to me that paying for the license while you're feeling the need to leave would then obligate you to keep doing something your heart is not into anymore, and would not honor who you are and your intuition about what you need. Very best to you as you make your choice . . .