What's your 'number'?

I, personally, have never had sex with a woman, or a man for that matter, that didn't want to have an orgasm.

While I can't say that I've been with any women who didn't want to orgasm, I have been with men who prefer not to. In one case, it's because he has difficulty staying hard...by not climaxing, he believes he increases his chance of maintaining his erection (it seemed to work.) The other case is my partner, Blue. Blue is a Taoist. He only climaxes occasionally.
 
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Karen, have you personally been with a man who wanted to give you "too many" orgasms??

I see you avoided this question.

I am well aware tantra isn't cuddling. It's just sounds boring to withhold orgasms. I'm pagan, I'm earthy and sensuous. I don't think, unlike Buddhists, that limiting orgasms for women is beneficial. For men, maybe? But then again, ejaculations every other day are recommended to reduce the risk of prostate cancer, according to what I have read.

I appreciate Buddhism and Asian philosophy very much. I like their mythology. I am not at all drawn to practice Buddhism or the branch called tantra. I find it cold.
 
Life's not over yet, Mags. Perhaps you will meet a partner who will bust this door open with you. Cuddling, it's not. ;)

I've given up on seeking new partners. The chances a tantra practitioner will come along out of the blue and bust open doors with me is little to none. :rolleyes:
 
Karen, have you personally been with a man who wanted to give you "too many" orgasms??

Yes.

I have been with men who are focused on "giving" me orgasms as a point of pride. Orgasms are lovely, but they are not the measure of a fulfilling sexual experience and many men seem to think that doling out an orgasm is a feather in their cap and all that great sex requires. Call me sexist, but I have never been with a woman sexually who has this limited scope and such ego wrapped up in this one aspect of sex. To me, orgasm-centric sex is what's cold and boring. It's much too goal oriented. Orgasms have always been part of my sex life and I've actually never been with a man (over the span of five decades!) who had the neanderthal view that women didn't want them or could have them or whatever silly myths are floating around. Maybe it's my San Francisco upbringing, but all of that orgasms-for-men-only crap is positively Victorian. Good grief, is that still a thing? Every man claims to be a giver these days - to the point where giving an orgasm is what's become predictable and way too results oriented for my liking. The many and varied aspects of sexual and emotional connection and exploration are what send off my rockets - and not evaluating sex by the single measure of how many orgasms were racked up.

So, yes, I have experience being with men who are way too orgasm focused (both for themselves and for me.) Orgasms aren't verboten in my book, but I am so over putting them center stage. I love for sex to go on and on and on all day - with the emphasis on the connection. My very traditional BF blew his world right open when we discovered this and together we are having the best sex of our not so young lives.
 
I'd like to chime in that a number of women can get half-orgasms, so they feel pleasure and relief (not having the female equivalent of "blue balls"), without a major body "explosion". A woman in this situation can be just fine without a full orgasm in a specific sexual encounter (although hopefully she does experience the full-on at least sometimes).

BTW, back to the original subject of this strand, is there anyone who'd like to share their number if they haven't?
 
I, personally, have never had sex with a woman, or a man for that matter, that didn't want to have an orgasm.

My husband has in fact dated women who did not want to have orgasms. Flat out did not want them. They believed that they lost part of their spiritual energy having orgasms.

He thought they were nuts, but they were cool people and he genuinely liked them, they wanted to have sex with him, so it was all a good thing. You get the sex you want, not the sex someone else thinks you should have.
 
On-Topic: Despite being quite sexually open when I'm emotionally intimate with a partner, I sit right at three. My first young love in high school, one pretty disastrous bit in college, and then my wife a year or two after.

Off-Topic: My wife is more than happy with one orgasm... I like to try for three...

I guess we are just that different. I like "forced orgasm" porn. Yeah, baby! Force me to feel amazing! lol

If I can get away with it, occasionally (rarely), yeah it's no point of pride... I just enjoy watching her :D
 
Yes, I have been with men who are focused on "giving" me orgasms as a point of pride.

Pride? "Giving?" Why are you being so dismissive? Why kick someone for giving a gift? I love gifts. And why does it have to be "pride?" Why can't it be satisfaction, vicarious pleasure? I mean, yeah, some guys can be jerks about sex in general, but "giving a gift" of an orgasm just doesn't sound like ever a negative thing to me. Unless you're entirely into tantra and think orgasms are bad.

Also, there are some women who are more like men. One orgasm and sex is over. In that case, I can seeing delaying your ONE orgasm. I am talking more about women's potential to be multi- or mega-orgasmic.

Orgasms are lovely, but they are not the measure of a fulfilling sexual experience...

No one is saying they are.

... and many men seem to think that doling out an orgasm is a feather in their cap and all that great sex requires. Call me sexist, but I have never been with a woman sexually who has this limited scope and such ego wrapped up in this one aspect of sex.

Hm, I've never seen that, and I've been with many many men. If a man says to me, "Of course, the lady cums first," when we are getting to know each other, I explain to him I usually need way more than one orgasm to feel satisfied. I tell him part of the fun of being with me is making me cum over and over, and making a big fun mess with my ejaculation. If he doesn't want that, he's not the right guy for me.

To me, orgasm-centric sex is what's cold and boring. It's much too goal oriented. Orgasms have always been part of my sex life and I've actually never been with a man (over the span of five decades!) who had the neanderthal view that women didn't want them or could have them or whatever silly myths are floating around. Maybe it's my San Francisco upbringing, but all of that orgasms-for-men-only crap is positively Victorian. Good grief, is that still a thing?


hahahahaha. Yes. The patriarchy exists, outside of your liberal bubble. Surely you know that? Look at the Middle East and Africa. They still cut off clitorises!

Every man claims to be a giver these days ...

Lucky you, in San Francisco.

- to the point where giving an orgasm is what's become predictable and way too results oriented for my liking. The many and varied aspects of sexual and emotional connection and exploration are what send off my rockets - and not evaluating sex by the single measure of how many orgasms were racked up.

Again, no one is saying orgasms are all there is to sex.

So, yes, I have experience being with men who are way too orgasm focused (both for themselves and for me.) Orgasms aren't verboten in my book, but I am so over putting them center stage. I love for sex to go on and on and on all day - with the emphasis on the connection. My very traditional BF blew his world right open when we discovered this and together we are having the best sex of our not so young lives.

I also like "sex" to go on all day, if by that you mean building the energy. Sure. That doesn't contradict my opinion. If you're not multi-orgasmic and one orgasm ends your sexual energy for the day, well then, I can see how you'd avoid one until you were good and ready for sex to be over for the day, or week, or whatever.
 
My husband has in fact dated women who did not want to have orgasms. Flat out did not want them. They believed that they lost part of their spiritual energy having orgasms. He thought they were nuts, but they were cool people, and he genuinely liked them, they wanted to have sex with him, so it was all a good thing.

You get the sex you want, not the sex someone else thinks you should have.

So, he's met the Karen type.

As far as avoiding orgasms, I have not met, but have spoken to women who, sadly, are very embarrassed to ejaculate, think it's pee, and have been deeply shamed by their male partners for making a mess. These women can think they need to avoid orgasms at all costs, to avoid "peeing" during sex. Horrible!

I think there are men who avoid giving oral sex to women who are squirters. This is also sad. Some men love the taste and volume, but of course, one can briefly turn one's head to avoid the waterfall too. Just don't stop fingering unless she pulls away from your hand.
 
With a new partner, I definitely want the orgasms together. I want to know our mingled scent, the sound he makes, the look on his face, etc.

The exception being online, that's a little different as not all senses can be involved in the same way.

In established sex partners, I will happily explore things akin to tantra. Chalk and Adam in particular, I do this with.
 
BTW, back to the original subject of this strand, is there anyone who'd like to share their number if they haven't?

Thanks for reviving this thread, but I am pretty sure it's been determined that the "number of sex partners" depends on whether you're talking gay sex or PIV or foreplay/moreplay with any gender, or have an orgasm or not, etc., so it's kind of hard to put a number on it.
 
So, he's met the Karen type.

As far as avoiding orgasms, I have not met, but have spoken to women who, sadly, are very embarrassed to ejaculate, think it's pee, and have been deeply shamed by their male partners for making a mess. These women can think they need to avoid orgasms at all costs, to avoid "peeing" during sex. Horrible!

I think there are men who avoid giving oral sex to women who are squirters. This is also sad. Some men love the taste and volume, but of course, one can briefly turn one's head to avoid the waterfall too. Just don't stop fingering unless she pulls away from your hand.

I thought a Karen was the vernacular for a woman who always called the manager :p Although I'm not a big fan of that type of naming because I see it on Reddit all the time.
 
Another total aside here, brought on by the notion of being afraid to "pee" during sex...

So, women, the whole sneezing thing with the "light bladder leakage" thing... has anyone else noticed that it's actually not urine either most of the time?
 
has anyone else noticed that it's actually not urine either most of the time?

Which brings up a thought that I was considering posting in the "oral sex" thread that is also going on.

Opinions/thoughts on "squirting" (sometimes known as "female ejaculation"), especially as to what is actually coming out? It seems, if I am not mistaken, that the current medical/scientific opinion is that it is simply urine - but others are certain that it is not. I recall one theory being that although it is excreted through the urethra, it is not urine, but fluid stored in the spongy area around the "g-spot" beneath the clitoris.

As one of those guys who loves (loves..loves..loves) going down on women, I have been squirted on a number of times by a few different women - and, to me, whatever it is does NOT taste like urine. (And while I am not into golden showers or such, if you make a habit of eating pussy, you are going to learn what urine tastes like at some point along the way).

Just curious as to others' thoughts.... even if we are somewhat off topic....

Al
 
I thought a Karen was the vernacular for a woman who always called the manager :p Although I'm not a big fan of that type of naming because I see it on Reddit all the time.

:p FallenAngelina always signs her posts as Karen. I didn't even think of meme Karen. lolol I was talking about an actual person named Karen.
 
:p FallenAngelina always signs her posts as Karen. I didn't even think of meme Karen. lolol I was talking about an actual person named Karen.

Oh my goodness, I didn't even notice that. Please accept my apologies. I was thinking that vernacular didn't sound like you!
 
Which brings up a thought that I was considering posting in the "oral sex" thread that is also going on.

Opinions/thoughts on "squirting" (sometimes known as "female ejaculation"), especially as to what is actually coming out? It seems, if I am not mistaken, that the current medical/scientific opinion is that it is simply urine - but others are certain that it is not. I recall one theory being that although it is excreted through the urethra, it is not urine, but fluid stored in the spongy area around the "g-spot" beneath the clitoris.

As one of those guys who loves (loves..loves..loves) going down on women, I have been squirted on a number of times by a few different women - and, to me, whatever it is does NOT taste like urine. (And while I am not into golden showers or such, if you make a habit of eating pussy, you are going to learn what urine tastes like at some point along the way).

Just curious as to others' thoughts.... even if we are somewhat off topic....

Al

You tend to smell the difference in fluids. There's no urea in pure ejaculate fluid. It also has a different texture and taste.

Medical opinion does vary, but I have read a study confirming no urea.
 
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