What's your 'number'?

Likeapanda101

New member
I'm generally curious in a no-judgement way, if you're comfortable sharing, how many people have you had sex with? Feel free to add your age as well for reference.


Why I'm asking:
I'm super interested in how poly vs. mono people differ when it comes to their "number". A lot of people think poly people are out there having orgies and daily one night stands, but I'm curious as to what the reality is
 
There was a thread here a while back with a link to a quiz that told you where you were on a percentile scale based on age for number of sexual partners (of course I can't find it now! :p)

I've had about a dozen male and a dozen female sexual partners, I am 44 and that put me at the 99th percentile. I recall that most people (everyone, not just poly) were in the low single digits. Most of the people I had sex with were when I was in my teens and early 20s - when I was exploring my options.
 
Age: 34
PIV partners: 2 (still involved with both of them)
Additional Oral/Manual-only sex partners: 4

So, like 6 total.
 
I have no idea what my number is. I stopped thinking about it years ago and it hurts my head to try to figure it out now.
 
Age: 39
Partners: 6
Breakdowns (for fun):
2 play partners, 4 serious relationship partners
3 identified female, 3 identified male
2 current, 4 past (still friends with 2; 2 acrimonious partings)

I’m super sex-positive, but I guess also a bit personally shy/conservative! I definitely would never judge anyone based on their number, be it high or low.
 
I'm 37. I actually keep a list because I was a bit afraid I'd forget someone (and I'm not 100% sure I haven't, just because I wasn't really keeping track during the flirtation I had with the swinger community and I'm a bit afraid I left someone out).

That said, counting PIV or oral, my number is 24, with another handful of less-than-clothed makeouts or kink play.

I've never had a one night stand in the classic sense though (going to a swinger party feels different than actually picking someone up in a bar / on Tinder) and I'm still sort of curious about that, although it's unlikely to happen I think.
 
Age: 50

Number of partners: 5(+)

Genders: 4 x male (relationships)
1 x female (relationship)

The (+) denotes several people with whom I've had various kinds of sexual experiences that did not include full PIV penetration (or oral/genital stimulation to orgasm, male or female). That number might be around 10, it's hard to remember.

I do consider myself to be somewhat demisexual, although I did not have the language to describe this when I was younger.
 
Hello Likeapanda101,
I'm 52, will be 53 soon.
Total number of PIV partners: two.
Plus one person, with whom I was just fooling around.
That's it.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Mid 50s I believe. I have an out of date list I could add to to get an exact number, but meh. I'm 40.

I'm in New Zealand. I believe that makes a difference to the stats. I'm not uncommon.
 
I'm 34 and have had about 60ish sexual partners. Probably more. The funny bit is once I became poly I basically stopped having casual sex. So from age 16-21 I had over 50 partners... for the last 13 years or so? It's only been long term partners. So that's 4 people.
 
I've been sexually intimate with nine people, and I'm 26.
 
I'm not sure about an overall total, but I'm pretty sure my turnover rate has dropped since getting into poly.
 
I stopped counting a LONG time ago, seeing the count as quite unnecessary. No, I can't remember all of their names! I'm going to guess 35-40. I may be guessing high(?). Most, probably rather obviously, were not serious relationships. Many were very casual. A few started out as a massage swap and ... evolved. ;)

I'm age 52.
 
O god.

I made out/fondled about 30 guys before I lost my virginity at 16. That was in about 2 years. I had a lot of opportunity because my family went camping every summer so my sister and I would get a fresh crop of young guys at every campground, so about 10 campgrounds of fresh meat every summer. lol

Between 16 and 19 I had 11 sex partners. 10 guys, one woman. PIV with the guys, oral with the woman. I also made out and fondled another woman but I won't count it because it didn't last long and we dissolved into giggles.

Between age 19 and 54, 1 partner. I was going steady, then married at 22, and practiced monogamy.

After splitting with my husband (eventually divorcing), at age 54, in the past 9 years, I've had sex with 3 women. And guys? God knows! 50? I stopped counting after a couple years.

I count oral sex as sex with men or women. I also count naked on the bed, kissing, fondling, using hands and toys. As long as somebody cums. So I may not have fucked all those men, but we definitely "had sex."
 
I count oral sex as sex with men or women. I also count naked on the bed, kissing, fondling, using hands and toys. As long as somebody cums. So I may not have fucked all those men, but we definitely "had sex."

That's how my count works, too. Only the cumming isn't necessary (though it generally did happen). But not always..., I think. Nor would it have been a huge medical emergency if it had not happened. :p Arousal and pleasure need not always result in orgasm to count as "sex" in my book. :)
 
That's how my count works, too. Only the cumming isn't necessary (though it generally did happen). But not always..., I think. Nor would it have been a huge medical emergency if it had not happened. :p Arousal and pleasure need not always result in orgasm to count as "sex" in my book. :)

I understand. I agree in general. I've been with a few men who never or rarely ejaculate. It might be a physical or psychological issue. But I always cum, lol. I'm easy. So that is the definition I use, for me!

All the women (cis or trans) I have been with are or were occasionally or always multi-orgasmic, at least with my ministrations (tooting my own horn).

And I do think gay or bi people are apt to count "moreplay" as sex, since we don't always have a penis and a vagina in the bed. There might be 2 vaginas, or 2 penises. So there's no chance of PIV (unless you count your strap on as a penis). And transfolk! Might have 2 penises in a bed but call it sex because one person's penis is really her clit. There may be no penetration (of a butt), or maybe there is. Or maybe it's just oral, or just digital sex, or toys.

Or they might have 2 vaginas in a bed but one is a vagina and the other one is not to be penetrated, but ignored because of body dysphoria. In my case my nesting partner is a pre op transwoman. We used to use her "clit" to penetrate my vagina sometimes, but over the years her hormone meds have shrunk her genital and it's no longer any good for penetration. Also, she no longer ejaculates. Although she cums just fine tyvm.

So, as per usual, in this thread as everywhere, we need to look out for hetero/cis normativity.
 
Currently I’m 51 and love my poly committed life nowadays.

In my time of being a full time heavy metal drummer for a little over 30 years, I was known for my sexual antics as well as my drumming. But I was a young woman and wanted to have fun. The number of partners is a lot. Before a show, I would make tickets out of notebook paper and if you were given one, expect a good time after the show. I did that for years, but it started to fade as I got older and wanted more than a nightly fling after a show. I did this ticket system from 1986 - 1995.
 
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I actually sat down and tried to figure this out a few years ago. It should be around 57 now. I'll be 56 in a week. I am currently practicing monogamy. When I was practicing poly I only had two new partners in that time.
 
I don't keep a count. I will not say what my Angel's figures are, but I would say for me at 57 the number is 25+. I would also say until I was 40 ish, I was mono and then, having been with Angel since I was at school, the number then was 1. It is however what it is.
 
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