It would be supremely weird to me to not ever meet metamours. Like, if my boyfriend didn't ever meet my husband? Would he hang out with me and my kids but never meet their father? I feel like Glasses would feel really uncomfortable with some person he's never met hanging out with his kids all the time. And we'd have to go so far out of our way to orchestrate a situation where they didn't meet, that would feel bizarre too.
Different strokes... I can't understand *wanting* to meet metamours. I'm in a relationship with my partner, not with their other partners. I'm fine knowing they exist, but meeting them is far from my preference.
I also, to be honest, don't understand the reasoning behind having a partner hang out with the kids, at least on a regular basis. I mean, I legitimately don't understand. Again, if I'm dating someone, I'm dating them, not their kids. If someone's dating me, they're dating me, not my kids. My kids are adults now and out of the house anyway, but even when they still lived with me, they weren't involved in my dates generally. When I was seeing S2 a few years ago, we took his kids and Country to visit a local historical village once; and both Alt and Country have been to a couple-few events at my boyfriend's house over the past few years since we got together. But generally, if I'm having a date with a partner, I'm having a date with a partner, and I want the focus to be on *us*, not kids or metamours. Even when I was single, my kids only met three of the people I dated, and one of those was Hubby; the other two had expressed interest in marriage.
Hubby has only met three of the guys I've dated since poly started, and he met one of them the same night I did, before there was any indication that things would develop into a relationship. I was in a relationship with Facets for eight or nine months, and Hubby never met him. (Facets did meet my boyfriend, though.) The guys I'm involved with right now, I see no reason for them to meet Hubby, and he prefers not meeting people in general so he's fine with it.
I feel like this post sounds like I'm arguing or judging other people's choices about how they poly, and that isn't my intention. There are just a lot of things about some other people's way of doing poly that don't make sense to me, but then again, I suspect a lot of things about how I prefer to do it wouldn't make sense to others. (For that matter, quite a number of things about how I do poly don't make sense to my boyfriend...)