Fibromyalgia

zigzag

New member
I wondered how many other folk here suffer from fibromyalgia? I know from previous surveys here things like anxiety and IBS are more common in the poly community than the general population. They are both linked to fibromyalgia.

For me it's become an utter pain, literally.

I'm gutted that due to fibromyalgia i no longer can sleep with my partners, and I mean sleep not sex (which is fine) but real sleep. Waking up next to a partner is just a fabulous thing. But due to fibromyalgia I can't sleep, can't get comfortable, I keep them awake from tossing and turning. It's makes me very very sad.

The only pain relief I can find is alcohol and late night prog rock(joke)!

All the prescribed meds have no effect and some have terrible side effects I am lucky I'm not an alcoholic despite in France wine being cheaper than water.

It's still horrid for my partners who hate to see me in pain and want to "fix it" but can't. I feel I let them down not being able to be fixed. It's shit.
 
My friend Mary has fibromyalgia. She also has some back problems. The meds they give her knock her right out, but here in the US they hand out opiates like candy. Not so in France? While her meds do help her sleep, they don't do much for her pain all day.
 
I have fibromyalgia, and I refuse to take the generally-prescribed medications for it. I take naproxen at bedtime, and I take ibuprofen during the day if the pain is really bad, but that's it.

I share a bed with Hubby when I'm at home, and once a week (most weeks) I share a bed with my boyfriend, but I don't seem to keep them awake even if I'm constantly changing positions. They both sleep like rocks. I don't currently have any other partners I'm likely to share a bed with, at least not for sleeping.
 
I haven't been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but I do have a bunch of physical and mental health issues that preclude me from getting a restful night's sleep most nights.

For this reason, I've pretty much always slept alone - even during my long-term marriage to Red. When I move in with my partners next year, we will each have separate rooms, for this and other reasons. It has already been discussed and agreed upon by all three of us.
 
I've heard that fibromyalgia is pretty severe ... :(
 
I hear what your saying

Hi thanks for sharing that. I have Fibro also and its hard for others to understand what we go through every day, every minute .:( Even if they say they understand, they really can't. I have issues sleeping every day as well. At the moment I'm not living with anyone, so I have my bed to myself , but at those times when I have someone over i have real issues with sleeping o matter how tired I am. A new man has shown interest in me, but is into poly and wants me to join with his gf. I don't know how many sleep overs there will be. I have told them about my condition, they say they understand. I think people just say that to comfort you. I try all kinds of sleep aids, but they really don't work very well. Then I started using cannabis, either smoke, eat, drink it what ever you like. But it does help with the pain and helps me sleep. I live in So. CA so its legal and easy to buy. If possible try it, it might help...I hope it helps you, I really do. Good luck with all of it.:eek:
 
I'm gutted that due to fibromyalgia i no longer can sleep with my partners, and I mean sleep not sex (which is fine) but real sleep. Waking up next to a partner is just a fabulous thing. But due to fibromyalgia I can't sleep, can't get comfortable, I keep them awake from tossing and turning. It's makes me very very sad.

I understand what you mean by this. One of my spouses sleeps like he's died, and our mattress is basically made for the chronic pain I have. (insomnia, chronic pain, anxiety here) So, sleeping with him is easy. I basically can't disturb him due to how he sleeps, and we have almost the same sleep pattern.

My other spouse, like me, sleeps lightly. Has chronic pain, and has the opposite sleep schedule as I do. His bed is also trash. So, it became not only did we have to basically shuffle where I slept depending on the days he had off (which ary and made my insomnia worse) but we'd wake each other and wake up with more pain.

I wish I could switch between them, especially if there has been some friction due to a fight (the sleeping together to me helps heal any rift as well and adds closeness and intimacy; so it makes some recovery from that more emotionally exhausting) or even just hanging out together I dose off.

It sucks and I empathize. Especially since, honestly, it won't change anytime soon or maybe even at all.


All the prescribed meds have no effect and some have terrible side effects I am lucky I'm not an alcoholic despite in France wine being cheaper than water.

(Please don't use alcohol, all joking aside)

Medication is such a russian roulette. Some work, but the side effects make it impossible to use, some don't work but have zero side effects. As well as, we can't change how lightly or deeply the other person sleeps. Really, unless a change happens in pain or even a mattress that doesn't transfer movement (I spent $2100 CAD on mine to find an almost perfect one), we can't put our bodies through hell. We can't make ourselves basically lose function.

It's still horrid for my partners who hate to see me in pain and want to "fix it" but can't. I feel I let them down not being able to be fixed. It's shit.

My partners as well. B hates seeing me in any emotional pain especially. So, with me feeling guilty and such, it hurts him. My other partner feels terrible especially about my physical pain.
Neither of them can do much to help either issue. I have found ways that they can help in their own ways; B will bring me comfort food and make sure I get all the hugs and endorphin boosting he can give (gentle tickle fights that don't tickle but are just fun are my fav). Also, we tend to spend some extra time on the days our schedules line up doing nothing together or cuddling more after sex. It helps, even if it doesn't fix anything.
Z will give me help with my chores so that I have less on my plate, as well as things to help me fall asleep. More sleep helps with pain and anxiety.

In return, how I help with my guilt is I really work on being mindful of my own emotions, and how I affect their emotions. I don't censor things, but I do ensure they know that while they can't fix the problem they can do their best in certain ways. That I will do my best to also ease their lives in ways I can.
Sometimes we slip up. SOmetimes we suck at it. Our personal cups aren't full enough to pour into other people. It sucks, and coming to peace with it is still hard as hell. The idea that I am making them unhappy, that I am making their lives worse in some way tears me up and is honestly one of my greatest fears. So, they know that sometimes me bringing myself down from that is too hard so I have to seek their validation. We check in.

No person can ever fulfill another persons every need and want. We cannot fulfill all of our needs and wants. But, we are still complete and whole people on our own. We are still valid; our emotions and fears deserve to be acknowledged and sorted through.

DM me anytime if you ever want or need to
 
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