Hannah, thanks, I'll try to find that group. (I'm not great at locating things on Fet... I know things exist, I just can't always find them.)
And I guess I haven't updated anything lately here either, so my turn. LOL
Although Woody had referred to me as his sub once or twice, there didn't seem to be anything really heading in that direction, so after a few weeks of wondering what was actually going on, I asked, and reminded him that we had talked about it before. Somewhere along the line, while he remembered that at one time Hubby tried to be my Dom and wasn't comfortable with it, Woody had apparently forgotten that I'd told him Hubby was okay with someone else being my Dom. He said he hadn't done anything more toward that with me because he didn't want to step on Hubby's toes.
I clarified for him that Hubby had refused to attempt dominating me anymore and had said he was cool with me finding another Dom if that was what I wanted, so there wouldn't be any toe-stepping going on. Woody asked if I was sure I wanted to be his sub, and I said yes, so he said, "Then that's what you are." Since the conversation happened late at night, I asked if we could follow up the next morning by establishing what each of us meant by saying we're Dom and sub.
Instead of that happening the way I'd envisioned, the next morning while we were having sex, he did what I can only describe as a claiming ritual (hard to explain, made sense in context and still makes sense to me; basic story is he's a Witch and utilizes that in a lot of areas of his life), which included his statement of what he means when he says he's my Dom and what he wants from me as his sub, and gave me the opportunity to accept or refuse. Since it included everything I would have asked for if we'd had the discussion I'd thought we were going to have, I accepted.
So now I'm one of two subs he has; the other is his long-distance girlfriend. I'm his only in-person sub. He's fairly proud of that, it seems; he's told everyone to whom he's open about being into D/s, including a few women who were his subs in the past but ended that aspect of their connections. (He tends to stay platonic friends with nearly every partner he has, whether romantic, D/s, or both; he's only completely cut ties with two by his choice.)
There weren't really a whole lot of changes in our dynamic, though, other than the beginnings of his introducing some impact and other mild pain play (stuff that I'd already told him I was either into or wanted to try). Because of what I mentioned back in November about dominance just kind of being something he *is* rather than something he *does*, I was behaving in a submissive way toward him half the time anyhow. He's more inclined now to phrase things as orders rather than requests ("Look in the mirror" rather than "Would you look at yourself in the mirror?" for example). It's something that's always present in our interactions; as I've said, and he agrees, I am *always* his sub, and he is *always* my Dom, just like I'm always his girlfriend and he's always my boyfriend. We just don't always do things that are, or at least things that are overtly, D/s.
On the other hand, there are parts of the dynamic that we exercise in front of others because they aren't overt. For example, when I spend the night, the following morning I usually fix his first cup of coffee for him. If he's working and needs something, he'll tell me to get it instead of getting up and getting it himself. When we're walking in public, he has me put my arm through his. These are all things we both recognize as me submitting to him, and him asserting that he's my Dom, but no one else would recognize as such.
He's been using what I jokingly called--and got my nipples pinched for calling--his "Domly Powers of Domness" (i.e. the guided imagery thing he does, as well as some rituals) to help me address some of the shit from my past that keeps coming up and to help build my confidence and self-esteem, sometimes in ways that push my comfort zones further than I'm, well, comfortable with, but never beyond what I've agreed to. And I always have the option to say "I can't do that."
I don't have a title for him; he said he'll know what to have me call him when the time is right. For the moment I call him my Lion, but that's more of a pet name than a Dom title.