hideawayprincess
New member
I'm new here, and not really sure if my situation would even be considered polyamory...but I do not know where else to turn.
Can it be considered polyamory/ethical non-monogamy/open marriage, if one of the relationships a person is in is completely non-sexual/non-romantic?
I am married to my partner (for 14 years), but for a myriad of reasons (including my own mental health issues), we have not had an intimate sexual/romantic relationship for years. There is emotional intimacy on so many levels, because we live together, raise a young family together, go about living life together...but deep emotional intimacy and anything physical has been missing for a long, long time. And recently, my partner met someone new, who she decided to pursue a relationship with as well (long distance, seeing eachother every other weekend), and has fallen in love with.
But my partner still wants to, as long as it is okay and works for all of us, continue living with me, raising a family with me, maintaining the same connection/love etc., we had before she met this person. So what would this be considered and called?
I know my partner and I are more than friends, roomates and co-parents. There is so much love, connection, history, between us, that it has to be more than that. We are still married (although we have talked about separation and divorce, and neither of us want that, unless we absolutely have to). We still spend time together (with and without kids), sleep in same bed, plan family vacations, everything, like before. And my partner refuses to say one relationship is more important than the other (no hierarchy, no terms like primary/secondary, because the relationship she has with me and the one she has with the new person meet such different needs she has). I wish like crazy we could have the deep intimate/romantic relationship she has developed with the new person, but my partner is also not willing to work towards that, doesn't think it is possible any more. But she also is going to couples therapy with me....to help strengthen our connection, communication, relationship, etc.
So what would all this be? I feel safe and calm when I think it is an open marriage/polyamorous relationship (where I am the monogamous one)...but is that what it really is, if there is no romance and physical intimacy between me and the person I am married to, and she is involved with someone else?
I feel very lost and alone in all of this, feel like my situation in so many ways is different than most other peoples. It is also far more complex then what I have just explained. But I desperately need a framework for it, and to ideally know I am not alone?
Can it be considered polyamory/ethical non-monogamy/open marriage, if one of the relationships a person is in is completely non-sexual/non-romantic?
I am married to my partner (for 14 years), but for a myriad of reasons (including my own mental health issues), we have not had an intimate sexual/romantic relationship for years. There is emotional intimacy on so many levels, because we live together, raise a young family together, go about living life together...but deep emotional intimacy and anything physical has been missing for a long, long time. And recently, my partner met someone new, who she decided to pursue a relationship with as well (long distance, seeing eachother every other weekend), and has fallen in love with.
But my partner still wants to, as long as it is okay and works for all of us, continue living with me, raising a family with me, maintaining the same connection/love etc., we had before she met this person. So what would this be considered and called?
I know my partner and I are more than friends, roomates and co-parents. There is so much love, connection, history, between us, that it has to be more than that. We are still married (although we have talked about separation and divorce, and neither of us want that, unless we absolutely have to). We still spend time together (with and without kids), sleep in same bed, plan family vacations, everything, like before. And my partner refuses to say one relationship is more important than the other (no hierarchy, no terms like primary/secondary, because the relationship she has with me and the one she has with the new person meet such different needs she has). I wish like crazy we could have the deep intimate/romantic relationship she has developed with the new person, but my partner is also not willing to work towards that, doesn't think it is possible any more. But she also is going to couples therapy with me....to help strengthen our connection, communication, relationship, etc.
So what would all this be? I feel safe and calm when I think it is an open marriage/polyamorous relationship (where I am the monogamous one)...but is that what it really is, if there is no romance and physical intimacy between me and the person I am married to, and she is involved with someone else?
I feel very lost and alone in all of this, feel like my situation in so many ways is different than most other peoples. It is also far more complex then what I have just explained. But I desperately need a framework for it, and to ideally know I am not alone?