Poly in Comedy

Why do I have no trouble believing that you actually did a YouTube search for 'TRBG comedian'?

Yes, I posted anonymously. This is an anonymous board. The admins strongly encourage anonymity. I'm sorry you feel that advice delivered in this setting automatically qualifies as an attack.

Bottom line though, the best advice any experienced comic will give you on the artistic level is 'find your own voice.' If that advice offends you I'm not so sure that comedy is the best place for your delicate little soul.

I mean this with all sincerity: good luck with your career. You've got a few learning curves ahead of you but I have no reason to believe you can't work through them.

Last bit of advice: If you are serious about your career ask the club to take that clip down. It's the first thing people see when they search for you. If that isn't your best or even remotely representative of where you are now why would you want bookers to see it?

As I said, I have no problem with anonymity. The tone of this message from you sounds sounds far less assaulting than the first. Since your immediate message following this one indicates you realize I am simply looking for research I'll leave the rest alone aside from saying yes, I agree with your advice here. I'm not looking to make a career in comedy, but if it happens I won't shy away from it either. For now, I'm just trying to have fun with it, make people laugh, and hopefully think a little while their at it (or at least reflect on it later).

FWIW, I have asked the club to take the videos down. The owner is very busy and it often takes several emails to get him to take them down.
 
This is a public message board - ya get what ya get.

Very true. Which is why I asked, and reiterated that I was asking, in hopes to appeal to the sensibility that if people didn't want to voice their opinion about the topic I was asking specifically asking for opinions on that they just move along. Unfortunately, some people just need to see themselves post in hopes that someone in the world will pay attention to them for a brief moment in time.

I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they were just having a bad day, but I don't play those games anymore... high school was a long time ago. After one response, two at the most, if a person continues to simply play the antagonist, I just ignore them.

Thank you for your feedback Cindie. It is much appreciated.

Dennis
 
Hello friends,

Hello back at ya!

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I don't see any better place so...

Actually, I think this is a great place to post this. We usually think of "media" in terms of "news media" or "social media" but art and entertainment "media" would apply as well. There are actually organizations that are trying to "get the word out" about poly/poly rights. You might want to check out the Polyamory Leadership Network for more people interested in discussing this. (Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with or particular knowledge of this group - I'm pretty much a anti-social non-joiner - but some folks are into this sort of thing.)

I am a comedian and I am in a polyamorous relationship. Like many comedians I take my life experiences and turn them into humor for others to enjoy. Likewise I talk about subjects that are considered hot button or "taboo". As I'm sure many of you know comedians often make light of a serious subject to make people see how ridiculous the mainstream "popular" view is.

Nice job - using art and entertainment to inform and educate people about topics that they may have a strong (negative) reaction to in another setting. Hard to maintain "righteous indignation" when you are laughing your ass off.


I am writing some material on my poly life and I would like to ask for some help from the poly community on what specific points should be addressed. If you had just 5-10 minutes a night to tell a captive audience of a few hundred people the most important things about the poly lifestyle and how ridiculous it is that it is so negatively viewed in our society, what would you tell them?

For me - I agree with your key points about explaining what poly means IN a poly relationship (not limiting love, regular issues with jealousy, etc.) - and yes, definitely leave the details about configurations and compersion to an audience that would appreciate that (say you do a routine at a poly Meet-Up or whatnot). But I would want to avoid the impression that you are trying to "convert" people to try poly for themselves (think of the reaction people have to the mythical "Gay Agenda")

My focus would be on a.) just exposing people to the fact that poly exists - and that poly DOESN'T = tyrannical, religious, child-marriage, forced polygamy b.) suggesting what they might DO with this new-found information - namely talking about it and being tolerant of it if they discover it in the world around them.

So - you tell your funny stories, you make them laugh, you let them see that poly people aren't evil monsters that want to steal their children - and most people leave the show thinking "Wow, that is SO not for me, but...whatever...why would I care how other people run their relationships? That's one funny, nice dude." Subtext - just because someone is gay/poly/kinky whatever - doesn't mean that they automatically want to do that with YOU - who cares if they do it with each other. Tolerance, man. Live and let live. (The people who hear you and might be interested in the concept for themselves now have a word that they can Google and find resources for themselves.)

Hope that was along the lines of what you were looking for.

JaneQ
 
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Hello back at ya!

*snip*

Hope that was along the lines of what you were looking for.

JaneQ

Thank you JaneQ!! Yes, this is exactly the type of feedback I was hoping to get!!

I already have a line written out that states I don't think poly is for everyone but you make a few good points that I hadn't considered and will certainly address.

Very awesome, and much appreciated.

Dennis
 
I like JaneQ's suggestions here. I think there is rich potential for humor, and for using humor to expose more people to the idea of poly relationships.

However, I think you would have to take a few minutes to explain what poly is, because most people simply haven't heard of it or would assume you're talking about threesomes or swinging.

I think it will be very challenging to tell jokes about poly situations because the audience might not believe you're serious that poly relationships exist.

Personally, I find that when I tell people about my relationships/dating life, they think I'm joking. They outright laugh and cannot believe I am serious. So...actual humor would be totally lost on the audiences in my life.

But best of luck; I think it's a good idea to try. I really admire gay comics who have helped to "normalize" gay relationships through humor. Ultimately, humor unites people--we realize we have things in common because we are all experiencing the same things, all laughing at the same things.

And if you ever end up with two or three mothers-in-law...well, there's a whole stand-up routine right there!
 
I think you would have to take a few minutes to explain what poly is, because most people simply haven't heard of it or would assume you're talking about threesomes or swinging.

Dennis, how much time were you planning spending on this chunk and how's it coming along?

From my own experience, if you make the people in your relationships the focal point of the bit you won't necessarily have to get into too much technical stuff. If you talk about real relationship issues and true dynamics or at least compare spouse to girlfriend, or talk about your wife's OSO as someone you get along with or don't get along with the audience will figure out that you're not talking about swinging because you haven't mentioned swinging.
 
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