Couldn't think of another way to describe this...
So I don't identify as poly, for the most part I'm mono. I am open to play with others and have deep relationships but I don't have any particular desire to have sex with more than one person. During the last 3 months or so of my last committed relationship I began seeing a married man, and we had occasional sleep overs/cuddle/kiss/etc. but nothing more. This is about the extent of my comfort level and my experience.
I recently began dating a guy who identifies as poly [although from the sounds of it it seems like he has a lot of fuck buddies who are close friends, not actual 'relationships' but then I am wondering what is the difference?] and he asked me if I would like to be his primary partner, meaning I am the one he is 'dating.'
There are, in my opinion, a lot of these other women he could potentially be having sex with. Not that it would be an often thing, like a couple times a year thing. I would almost rather there be less, with more often sex. And the idea that there are all these women I eventually have to meet is just kind of like WTF to me. Seems like a headache and a half. But they could all be great who knows.
I like him a lot, I could even say that I love him, and I've wanted to experience poly/open relationships for a while, but at the same time this is making me not want to be sexual with him and I find being present with him sexually difficult. Protected intercourse is one thing, but I find the idea of him going down on multiple other women kind of gross and he has told me that oral is an important part of his sexual experience. [We are hardly sexual, sleepovers at this point]
I don't feel like I have a right to ask him not to, but that would probably make me more comfortable (I also feel like, shit, SOMETHING should be mine). I feel like at this point our relationship progressing would benefit him more than me. Not that it is a numbers game, but I also feel deeply insecure that there are so many others he could see himself being sexual with again.
So I have no idea. Feeling quite lost. And I am finding it difficult at identifying my feelings. Hoping someone with more experience can help me out...
thank you
So I don't identify as poly, for the most part I'm mono. I am open to play with others and have deep relationships but I don't have any particular desire to have sex with more than one person. During the last 3 months or so of my last committed relationship I began seeing a married man, and we had occasional sleep overs/cuddle/kiss/etc. but nothing more. This is about the extent of my comfort level and my experience.
I recently began dating a guy who identifies as poly [although from the sounds of it it seems like he has a lot of fuck buddies who are close friends, not actual 'relationships' but then I am wondering what is the difference?] and he asked me if I would like to be his primary partner, meaning I am the one he is 'dating.'
There are, in my opinion, a lot of these other women he could potentially be having sex with. Not that it would be an often thing, like a couple times a year thing. I would almost rather there be less, with more often sex. And the idea that there are all these women I eventually have to meet is just kind of like WTF to me. Seems like a headache and a half. But they could all be great who knows.
I like him a lot, I could even say that I love him, and I've wanted to experience poly/open relationships for a while, but at the same time this is making me not want to be sexual with him and I find being present with him sexually difficult. Protected intercourse is one thing, but I find the idea of him going down on multiple other women kind of gross and he has told me that oral is an important part of his sexual experience. [We are hardly sexual, sleepovers at this point]
I don't feel like I have a right to ask him not to, but that would probably make me more comfortable (I also feel like, shit, SOMETHING should be mine). I feel like at this point our relationship progressing would benefit him more than me. Not that it is a numbers game, but I also feel deeply insecure that there are so many others he could see himself being sexual with again.
So I have no idea. Feeling quite lost. And I am finding it difficult at identifying my feelings. Hoping someone with more experience can help me out...
thank you