Hi everybody! I've been reading the very encouraging and informative posts here, and I'm hoping some of you experienced folks can help me out.
Here's the rundown on my situation: I've been with my wonderful, amazing girlfriend for about ten years now. We're both settled in and comfortable with our lesbian identities and such. My girlfriend is not the the jealous type; she's encouraged me to have other relationships, and I had/have a sort-of relationship with a mutual friend which hasn't ever progressed physically past kissing. We are still very close, but she (the friend, let's call her S) now lives far away with her boyfriend who is pretty much not up for sharing her. So my girlfriend and I have had a theoretically-open relationship, I guess you could say.
So now, I have a friend, let's call him Z. We work together and have been spending lots of time together in a friendly way, both alone and with my girlfriend and friends. Lately that time has been increasing and we text each other/see each other nearly every day. I have a history of becoming. . . infatuated with my friends - S for a more extreme example than usual - and am naturally very affectionate/touchy-feely. So I find myself having feelings for Z, like I want to be touchy-affectionate with him, I look for him at work all the time, I text him more and more often and so on. I am pretty sure that these are more-than-friends feelings, but since I love all my friends SO MUCH. . . I am confused. Added to that, I've never been physically intimate with a boy, and my girlfriend hasn't either, and is much less open to the idea of fooling around with a boy herself. The logistics of being with a guy are all very new to me.
Basically, I don't know if Z is interested in me, I don't know how I would react to actually having sex with him, I'm not sure how much my (mostly incredibly open) girlfriend would really be thrilled about the idea of me dating a guy. I want to talk to her about it but I find myself becoming incredibly anxious about the fact that he's a boy and our friend. And on top of that I can't talk to S about it because I'm afraid she'll be jealous that I have another potential suitor.
I am so confused! Can anyone help me?
Here's the rundown on my situation: I've been with my wonderful, amazing girlfriend for about ten years now. We're both settled in and comfortable with our lesbian identities and such. My girlfriend is not the the jealous type; she's encouraged me to have other relationships, and I had/have a sort-of relationship with a mutual friend which hasn't ever progressed physically past kissing. We are still very close, but she (the friend, let's call her S) now lives far away with her boyfriend who is pretty much not up for sharing her. So my girlfriend and I have had a theoretically-open relationship, I guess you could say.
So now, I have a friend, let's call him Z. We work together and have been spending lots of time together in a friendly way, both alone and with my girlfriend and friends. Lately that time has been increasing and we text each other/see each other nearly every day. I have a history of becoming. . . infatuated with my friends - S for a more extreme example than usual - and am naturally very affectionate/touchy-feely. So I find myself having feelings for Z, like I want to be touchy-affectionate with him, I look for him at work all the time, I text him more and more often and so on. I am pretty sure that these are more-than-friends feelings, but since I love all my friends SO MUCH. . . I am confused. Added to that, I've never been physically intimate with a boy, and my girlfriend hasn't either, and is much less open to the idea of fooling around with a boy herself. The logistics of being with a guy are all very new to me.
Basically, I don't know if Z is interested in me, I don't know how I would react to actually having sex with him, I'm not sure how much my (mostly incredibly open) girlfriend would really be thrilled about the idea of me dating a guy. I want to talk to her about it but I find myself becoming incredibly anxious about the fact that he's a boy and our friend. And on top of that I can't talk to S about it because I'm afraid she'll be jealous that I have another potential suitor.
I am so confused! Can anyone help me?