LostSailor
New member
I really, really needed to read this. Thank you.
Me too. It's a Helluva good thread.
I really, really needed to read this. Thank you.
Good plan IG,
It's healthy. I think it's always useful to remember that part of what bonds us to others is respect. And respect comes (at least partially) from seeing our strength and independence. The fact that we have our hand firmly on the tiller, compass and chart close by.
Good luck. You're doing fine.
GS
"Today, in another thread, I read a fascinating theory about jealousy, in which jealousy (regards loving relationships -- if we may call them that) is understood at root as a fear of losing the precious connection. What was fascinating to consider in what I read was how this fear emerges within a cultural-historical context, a context in which nearly everything (even sex and love) are now treated like commodities. A commodity, to be a commodity, must have some degree of scarcity, since no one would buy a thing that is both valuable and ubiquitously abundant (e.g., air).
Commoditization hasn't always existed, and things have become commoditized gradually over thousands and thousands of years of history and pre-history. Our ancient ancestors often lived in a state of extraordinary abundance, such that no one ever considered food a commodity, or treated it as such. Same with land, and -- likely -- loving relationships.
These things were valued, but not scarce -- and so there was much less cause to fear loss.
I am, of course, imagining "primitive" or tribal people whose human neighbors were cooperative and collaborative with one another, rather than competitive and greedy. Imagine being held in a community like that, a community in which you are included and valued by everyone you regularly see around you. Then go out onto the city streets and observe carefully.
NOTE:
I carefully chose my words "treated like commodities" above. Before doing so I had a look at various technical definitions of the term and realized that we may well treat things as if they were commodities while at the same time they don't meet the criteria of the term.
Delightfully apropos, given my nickname.
Thank you for reminding me that I need to show her respect first. Needful jealousy is disrespectful because it makes her less her, and more one of my "things." (or am I wrong?)
It does no good to go to war with our emotional habits or well-worn habits of thought....
Indeed, inner wars only lead to wounds and scars, pain and confusion.
We should be patient and kind with ourselves as we unfold into fresh new ways of life. Don't push the river. Love the process. Put down the weapons.
I give you this Venn diagram. Two circles overlapping. Simple. In one circle is the old familiar habit of thought and feeling. In the other circle is the emerging "paradigm". Your work here is to cherish both and to notice, nay familiarize yourself with the overlapping space. That space is a bridge. The world is a bridge. Life is a bridge. Do not expect to arrive in unchanging territory.
Or practice this way: Hold your arms out with hands facing one another at a distance. Palm facing palm at a distance. Each hand is one of those circles in the Venn. Very, very slowly, mindful of what each hand represents, ... very slowly bring your palms together in touch. Slowly! Notice what happens. Watch carefully.
"Commoditization...is this also the root of capitalism?