Hello all!
I recently posted about the unprepared fiasco that was mine and my husbands first attempt at polyamory.
I have been processing all the information I can get my hands on: reading 'More than two', blog posts, forum posts, and listening to amazing Poly podcasts but still I am struggling to understand my own feelings. I cannot seem to get down to the real reasons I am having the feelings I am having and then understand them enough to communicate them properly.
Overall I feel so threatened that my husband may have a romantic relationship on his own without me, but am totally not opposed to having one together. I struggle with the "fear of missing out (FOMO)". I also fear losing him and our marriage which has been so amazing lately. I feel just so fucking scared and seem to be unable to understand or talk myself through my feelings.
My husband and I have always been sexual explorers with each other and have included others in our sex life together in the past, but I am just getting so upset with myself that I cannot seem to let go of my jealousy of thinking of him spending quality time with another person. I am struggling with trust, mostly that I can trust my own feelings and what he says his feelings and needs are.
We have decided to take a break from actively thinking about being poly and trying to truly understand our feelings and become better communicators before we proceed. We have given ourselves two weeks to really delve into our needs and our feelings before we really discuss it again (helps that my husband is out of town working so we can really process it alone with our thoughts).
I do feel that he and I could be polyamorous if I could just understand my feelings and be a better communicator. Well, we both could be better communicators, but also I am a really bad passive communicator so I have been trying to adjust to a more direct communication style.
This is a rambling post, so I apologize. Mostly I am looking for techniques or processes that you may have used to really flesh out your feelings and needs and desires because I feel lost with mine.
Thanks so much guys!
I recently posted about the unprepared fiasco that was mine and my husbands first attempt at polyamory.
I have been processing all the information I can get my hands on: reading 'More than two', blog posts, forum posts, and listening to amazing Poly podcasts but still I am struggling to understand my own feelings. I cannot seem to get down to the real reasons I am having the feelings I am having and then understand them enough to communicate them properly.
Overall I feel so threatened that my husband may have a romantic relationship on his own without me, but am totally not opposed to having one together. I struggle with the "fear of missing out (FOMO)". I also fear losing him and our marriage which has been so amazing lately. I feel just so fucking scared and seem to be unable to understand or talk myself through my feelings.
My husband and I have always been sexual explorers with each other and have included others in our sex life together in the past, but I am just getting so upset with myself that I cannot seem to let go of my jealousy of thinking of him spending quality time with another person. I am struggling with trust, mostly that I can trust my own feelings and what he says his feelings and needs are.
We have decided to take a break from actively thinking about being poly and trying to truly understand our feelings and become better communicators before we proceed. We have given ourselves two weeks to really delve into our needs and our feelings before we really discuss it again (helps that my husband is out of town working so we can really process it alone with our thoughts).
I do feel that he and I could be polyamorous if I could just understand my feelings and be a better communicator. Well, we both could be better communicators, but also I am a really bad passive communicator so I have been trying to adjust to a more direct communication style.
This is a rambling post, so I apologize. Mostly I am looking for techniques or processes that you may have used to really flesh out your feelings and needs and desires because I feel lost with mine.
Thanks so much guys!