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Nursehope

New member
Hi! I'm Hope,

I'm new to the world of polyamory along with my husband and I'm still navigating the emotional roller coaster that comes of adding a new person to an existing relationship. We have all known each other for several years and have recently come fully back into each others' lives. The plan is for us to be a triad, two women and one man, and that there will eventually be a sexual relationship between the three of us. There are children involved, but they already see each other as family, so that helps alleviate one concern. I have a lot of insecurity and jealousy with this new dynamic that I have never had to deal with before, and I'm afraid that I am making my partners' lives miserable with my fears. I am hoping this community will provide a way to talk about the issues that can be inherent in new poly relationships, and also help me to work through some of my issues. It's great to be here!
 
Greetings Hope,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You have a great advantage in that you have a "ready-made" partner to join you and your husband and form a three-person poly unit with you. I know it's pretty scary right now but don't get too spooked; most everyone has lots of fears and insecurities in the early years of their poly relationships. A lot of things you just have to figure out by trial and error, with lots of patience and love, but I can assure you Polyamory.com is good source of information for you. Lots of collective wisdom here.

One big word to make a mantra of is "communication." Few things can matter more to a polyamorous relationship. Communication is important to monogamous relationships too but for polyamorous relationships, it can really make the difference between sink or swim.

So do a lot of communicating. I suggest you set up a weekly time to sit down together (the three of you) and talk about how things are going and how everyone's feeling. Communication is a lifelong learning process because it is very complex, so consider every conversation to be a practice session and a learning experience. The most important part of communication, of course, is learning how to listen.

That gives you a little advice to start you off. There's much more to learn, so dig into this site and read all you can. Post anytime you have any questions or concerns. I'll be following this thread so you can always ping me here if you need to.

Good luck and enjoy your stay!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi! I'm Hope,

I'm new to the world of polyamory along with my husband and I'm still navigating the emotional roller coaster that comes of adding a new person to an existing relationship. We have all known each other for several years and have recently come fully back into each others' lives. The plan is for us to be a triad, two women and one man, and that there will eventually be a sexual relationship between the three of us. There are children involved, but they already see each other as family, so that helps alleviate one concern. I have a lot of insecurity and jealousy with this new dynamic that I have never had to deal with before, and I'm afraid that I am making my partners' lives miserable with my fears. I am hoping this community will provide a way to talk about the issues that can be inherent in new poly relationships, and also help me to work through some of my issues. It's great to be here!

Welcome Nursehope! There are a few of us here who are in such a triad and we love being in it! We have different ways in which we found love in a triad but it's worth going through the bumps in the road to get there. Hit me up anytime.
 
Lots of perfectly functioning triads exist.

I'd be cautious though about your forcing a sexual or romantic relationship with the other woman. It's usually better if that happens naturally; and it's okay if it ends up being a "vee," with him as the hinge between you and her. You never know, but expecting that "eventually there will be a sexual relationship between all three of [you]" is usually dangerous thinking :)

Instead of trying for the same dynamic as he has with her, why not form an independent relationship with her, nonsexual, nonromantic, and see where it leads? You may develop a romantic relationship with her after all :)
 
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