Article: Consensual Non-Monogamy: A Year of Sex Research in Review (12/31/2018)

Al99

Well-known member
Thanks for the link Al!

A nice summary of where the research is at currently. Having participated in many surveys on CNM or poly specifically, I do believe the quality of studies, and underlying study design base on assumptions, has improved.


Still, the flaw that I find with most of the studies I participate in is that very much assume a primary (original couple) /secondary model (outside partner) and don't seem to acknowledge the vast number of possibilities under the CNM banner. I am not a researcher designer but I imagine it is very difficult to, in a survey, scut out all of the nuances - but a Poly-Fi cohabitating V like Kevin's is going to be way different than a couple of HotWife/Cuckold, sex only swingers. Both are CMN but the same questions and motivations don't necessarily apply.
 
Seems like a good article. I'm not sure how I would feel about answering multiple surveys over time, just answering one survey is tedious enough, with a huge number of detailed questions. Also I would not want to ask my partners to fill out a survey that I had filled out, they are quite busy and would not enjoy the extra work. If anything I think that future surveys should be more streamlined, taking less time to fill out and not asking the same kinds of questions repeatedly. I don't know if this would be a realistic request on my part. Also like JaneQSmythe said, it would be nice if nonhierarchical units such as my MFM V were not so invisible in these surveys. Just some random thoughts.
 
I did not need a survey to tell me the sex was better for all three of us in a poly arrangement than mono.

That's the major reason we do it!

The article clouds the health benefits of sex with the term "hedonistic". It harkens to the Victorian Age where medicine has to taste horrible.

Playing with my kids is fun. We don't use the term "hedonistic" for it. There are health benefits to playing with your kids too.

But the moment we talk about sexual matters, the prude comes out and says oh no, you cannot have fun with sex. That is hedonistic.

Sex with your wife every morning and night, this is admirable. Sex with the mistress, hedonistic.

Language is a subtle but powerful way to control thought. Eating three meals a day is not hedonism, and neither is regular sex.

Would we ask if people eat food because they "like" it and not just because they must eat to live? As if liking food was bad? Hedonistic?

It is not Hedonism until you are a glutton about something. You push the pleasure button all day long: like for example: the average television user!

I am often amazed at the term "addiction" being used for sex by a culture that watches either 5 hours of television a day or is on cell phones even longer.

Sex three times a day is still way less than the average television use in America. But the sex is hedonistic and the television use is normal.

It is self-explanatory that people have sex because they like it. Liking it is not a perverted reason for having sex. It is not hedonistic.
 
Thanks for the link Al!

A nice summary of where the research is at currently. Having participated in many surveys on CNM or poly specifically, I do believe the quality of studies, and underlying study design base on assumptions, has improved.


Still, the flaw that I find with most of the studies I participate in is that very much assume a primary (original couple) /secondary model (outside partner) and don't seem to acknowledge the vast number of possibilities under the CNM banner. I am not a researcher designer but I imagine it is very difficult to, in a survey, scut out all of the nuances - but a Poly-Fi cohabitating V like Kevin's is going to be way different than a couple of HotWife/Cuckold, sex only swingers. Both are CMN but the same questions and motivations don't necessarily apply.

I ran across one study that did not allow me to answer the questionaire because I did not have a primary partner. After seeing interviews with people in several fields I am convinced there is a bias in favor of monogamy.
 
We need look no further than the law to see that black-and-white bias.

It is illegal to marry more than one person. It is a felony, not a misdemeanor.

"Infidelity" is a reason for divorce with cause, and you get to take everything from them. It can excuse you from murder, like in Texas ironically where they lead the nation in death penalty convictions.
 
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