1st I have to say, that I don`t think someone handling a situation badly, where they find out a person is a post-op transexual is a 'so-called' bisexual. They are just as bi-sexual as any other bi-sexual, albeit obviously a jackass, if they are rude about it.
Yes, I apologize for using the qualifier "so-called." It came out of my own sense of hurt and anger I feel for my gf and other transpeople who struggle every day with that situation and similar ones.
There is a division in my head personally, between what I am attracted to, and the regular part of me, that believes in treating human beings properly and not judging them or their bodies. I am not only open or accepting, but truly see someone as my equal, and of no shame for being different,..
That doesnt mean I am going to be attracted to them. I haven`t in the past. That includes post-op transexuals.
I read the posts here and reflected on why that is. I have come to the conclusion, that I believe, a lot of it has less to do with shunning a member of society then people would like to think. I know for myself, I realized a common denominator in my attraction. I like natural bodies, and am not big on any type of major body modification. Of course someone can pick flyshit out of the pepper jar, and start saying ' What about ear piercing, and hair dye ?' blah blah blabbedy blah. Point is, its a part of attraction to me. Has nothing to do with any sense of ' rejecting of the gender differences'.
Well, being transgender is a medical condition. I am sure you wouldnt object to someone having surgery to get the "natural" cancer or endometriosis or whatever removed from their body. For many transpeople, having gender reassignment surgery (top or bottom) is a life or death situation. (Transpeople are much more likely to be murdered or commit suicide that the general public, or than gay or lesbians.)
Here's an article about that.
http://classic.feministing.com/archives/018985.html
It's not elective cosmetic surgery like getting your nose made smaller, or your lips shot with collagen, or having your piercings gauged. If you knew the grief and shame my gf feels over her genitalia, breasts, beard, male pattern baldness, inability to become pregnant and breastfeed, etc, you might have a change of heart.
This is something i`ve known about myself since I was 20. I think that knowledge carries over, and does have a few self placed blinders on. It doesn`t mean I won`t be open to it in the future, but for right now, I guess I like to keep my genders apart. Does that make me some type of failure because I know what I do, and don`t like ? If so,..I have to be honest with you,.I`m quite fine with being that type of failure.
No, you're not a failure. You might be less educated on the subject than you could be, as most people are. With all the progress people of color, women, lesbians and gays have made since the 1960's, the next area of civil rights is for the trans population. People are so stuck in the gender binary mindset. You know, when white men first came to the Americas, there were many NAs living as 2 Spirits. Quite often they were shamans in their communities. The (so-called, heh) Christian conquistadors shot them on sight. It's been an extremely painful struggle for transpeople in Western society for a long long time.
As for all the labels...
This thread I have heard of 30 + genders,...which actually interests me. What doesn`t interest me, is the mindset, that if we don`t know all 30, are not current on all 30+, that somehow we need to apologize because we have slighted someone out there, somewhere.
I hear you feel like you are in the wrong somehow. Til recently (October of 08) I've lived a life of cis-gendered hetero-normative privilege (despite being rather gender fluid and IDing as bi most of my life) and I am learning so much about this issue in the past few years. Previous to becoming romantically involved with my gf early last year, my daughter met and dated and eventually became engaged to a transwoman. This transwoman lived with us for a couple years as she began her transition. They were together for 5 years total. Now my daughter is dating 2 transgirls! She's poly too! lol
I don't feel shame about my ignorance. I am just excited to have my consciousness raised. I hate accidentally hurting peoples' feelings, so when I learn how to be more culturally aware, I appreciate the education.
This,..is how people lose credibility. And before you all get your panties and briefs in a bunch. Think of a few things first.
In the business word, they know no matter how many times a company changes hands, merges, or reinvents itself,...if they constantly change company names, they will lose customers and clients. People will not keep up and follow. That is why even very prominant places know to go with one name or the other, or merge names. Your MSNNBC, or your TD Canada Trust,..are merged for a reason. So people can still follow a line of association.
There is always going to be part of the population that has a bad experience with a word or label. Every 5 to 10 years, you will have a 'new' crop of self identified people, and all this label changing, is NOT good for the overall picture of acceptance or credibility.
Actually, I am quite on the other side of the fence here on this. I think the labels are good (if sometimes confusing at first)! Education is good. If this is your first experience with dealing more than in a passing way with this subject, I hope it's piqued your interest. Transpeople are just sticking a toe out of the closet. There is a lot to learn about this topic. This thread about labels is a teeny tiny tip of the iceberg.
Same goes with words like 'slut',..people are being told to 'reclaim' that word, and put a positive spin on it. I`ve asked this before, and am asking it again. Does it not then make more sense to reclaim other sexual orientation, and gender specific words, rather then coming up with 20 new names, to appease the over-sensitivity of people ?
"Appease the over-sensitivity?" This term, like "psychobabble," dismisses the incredibly difficult experiences transpeople have to deal with every day, just walking down the street. The whispers, the finger-pointing, the threats of violence, the assaults.
I don't know what you mean by, "make more sense to reclaim other sexual orientation, and gender specific words, rather then coming up with 20 new names?"