polycurious123
New member
I posted a few months ago about being dumped because I was a distraction from a guy's search for his primary. Who knows why he really ended things with me, but I think one of the core issues was emotional energy.
I think he loved me and care for me, but the emotional energy he had to use with me was too overwhelming. While I honestly don't think I was too demanding or clingy, he still had to worry about making me feel secure as one of many, scheduling time to see me, making sure that time was meaningful and met my needs, remembering to call or text me and check in, be available if I needed him. All this, while meeting and dating others to find his primary partner.
(We were in mutual agreement that we weren't compatible as primary/nesting partners, but loved each other and wanted to be with each other while we searched. However, he kept bringing that up when he was stressed and again when he ended things between us, that we weren't a fit for each other, even though I was like, "Uh I know! We talked about this!")
He said he was polyamorous. He was in open relationships before we started seeing each other.
So...my question or topic of discussion is EMOTIONAL ENERGY.
First, I'm wondering why did I seem to drain his emotional energy when I honestly tried to be very careful not to do so? I let him take the lead of the pace of the relationship, wasn't demanding, etc. He was dating others when we were together and still continued to see them after he dumped me.
Second, how do you balance emotional energy with multiple relationships? Is it more of a struggle with men, who typically handle their emotions differently than women?
Third, Do some people claim to be polyamorous, which I interpret as having emotional connections with many, vs. wanting an open relationship where they can can have casual sexual relationships with others, but keep the emotion to their primary?
I think he loved me and care for me, but the emotional energy he had to use with me was too overwhelming. While I honestly don't think I was too demanding or clingy, he still had to worry about making me feel secure as one of many, scheduling time to see me, making sure that time was meaningful and met my needs, remembering to call or text me and check in, be available if I needed him. All this, while meeting and dating others to find his primary partner.
(We were in mutual agreement that we weren't compatible as primary/nesting partners, but loved each other and wanted to be with each other while we searched. However, he kept bringing that up when he was stressed and again when he ended things between us, that we weren't a fit for each other, even though I was like, "Uh I know! We talked about this!")
He said he was polyamorous. He was in open relationships before we started seeing each other.
So...my question or topic of discussion is EMOTIONAL ENERGY.
First, I'm wondering why did I seem to drain his emotional energy when I honestly tried to be very careful not to do so? I let him take the lead of the pace of the relationship, wasn't demanding, etc. He was dating others when we were together and still continued to see them after he dumped me.
Second, how do you balance emotional energy with multiple relationships? Is it more of a struggle with men, who typically handle their emotions differently than women?
Third, Do some people claim to be polyamorous, which I interpret as having emotional connections with many, vs. wanting an open relationship where they can can have casual sexual relationships with others, but keep the emotion to their primary?