Polyamory: Married and Dating - Premier July 12th

I want to see that so bad I don't have showtime. A meetup group I belong to showed both times it never was on the day I could view it. Hopefully I get to watch it.
 
I caught an episode of this earlier this week and was intrigued and somewhat disappointed. I wish they showed more than the live-together dynamic for one, and I agree, it is way too sex focused.

In this episode they had the triad having a disagreement about the GF's outside BF, and it was all pressure on the GF because the wife didn't want to own her own emotions. That one really bothered me.

The quad group's portion was better, I though, but the whole thing still didn't do Poly justice. So while I am glad to see it in the mainstream, I am uncertain about the sensationalism of it all...
 
JohnnyDangerously, you are right on...The wife (we're not in triads, so I didn't know that language) definitely didn't own her emotions! And she certainly wasn't experiencing COMPERSION - let's hope we see a little compersion in the episodes to come. Poly is a mindset - and that blond "wife" certainly would drive the best of us AWAY!
 
Just so you know, the blond one is the girlfriend and the other one is the wife. Not that it really matters, since it's a triad they're all involved anyways.
 
It's not so much that is matters which is the wife and which is the girlfriend, but it does make a bit of a difference. I missed the first episode. Watching the second episode, I was thinking the blond was the wife, and I was thinking "fucking unicorn hunters..." then I remembered at the beginning the brunette said she was the wife, and I thought "Oh... I'm confused now."

As I said, I missed the first episode, but I'm liking the show. No, I don't think it's a "typical example of what polyamory is," or that "it's a good portrayal of polyamory." It is what it is. I doubt a typical example of polyamory is a real thing that exists anyway. The show is supposed to be entertainment, not poly propaganda. Viewing it as such will lead to disappointment. Perhaps it could be portrayed better, but it could be portrayed as much worse. "It's not a terrible depiction" would probably be the best way to put it.
 
No, it's not a terrible portrayal, but the thing I don't like is that by exclusively focusing on the live-in model, non-poly people won't get an accurate picture or just one-dimension and think that is all it is---which it isn't.

As you said, it is hard to have a "typical" example, which is why I just wish they would diversify what they present...
 
No, it's not a terrible portrayal, but the thing I don't like is that by exclusively focusing on the live-in model, non-poly people won't get an accurate picture or just one-dimension and think that is all it is---which it isn't.

As you said, it is hard to have a "typical" example, which is why I just wish they would diversify what they present...

How hard is it, though, to find people who are 1 - interesting enough to get people to watch and 2 - willing to open up their personal lives for the entire country (/world - I don't know where all Showtime is broadcasted)? Would you be willing to go on a program like this and let them follow you around so people could learn about your brand of poly?
 
Yeah, more variety would be nice, but I can see how that's difficult to accomplish, due to the "keep it entertaining" and "everyone has to sign a release" aspects. The live-in model works best with that kind of thing.

For the time being, I'm single, and therefore do not live with anyone I'm romantically involved with. Attention whore that I am, I don't think I'd be comfortable with cameras on me all the damn time. Still, if I was approached for a show like this, I'd probably do it. However, I doubt many of the people I date would sign releases. It would probably be something like this:

Episode One: I asked this one girl out. She turned me down. She didn't sign a release so there's no footage.

Episode Two: I asked this one girl out. She turned me down. She didn't sign a release so there's no footage.

Episode Three: I asked this one girl out. She said yes but stood me up. She didn't sign a release so there's no footage.

Episode Four: I asked this one girl out. She said yes and showed up for our date. She didn't sign a release so there's a few seconds of footage with her face blurred.

Episode Five: The girl from Episode Four has been ignoring my calls. I asked this one girl out. She turned me down. She didn't sign a release so there's no footage.

Episode Six: I asked this one girl out. She said yes, and she signed a release, so there's plenty of date footage and some softcore boning at the end. I had some "performance issues" because of the cameras but she was okay with it.

Episode Seven: Things are going well with Episode Six Girl. I asked this other girl out. She turned me down. She didn't sign a release so there's no footage.

Episode Eight: It turns out Episode Six Girl just wanted to use the show to promote her music career and wasn't actually interested in dating me. I'm not seeing her any more. However, lots of angry breakup softcore boning because Showtime.

Episode Nine: I asked this one girl out. She said she recognized me from the show and gave me a long, logical fallacy riddled speech about how polyamory is wrong and that I should be ashamed of myself. She signed a release though so that was fun.

Episode Ten: I asked this one girl out. She turned me down. She didn't sign a release so there's no footage.

Realistic? Probably. Entertaining? No.

Hmm... actually, maybe it would be entertaining...
 
I'm pretty sure the timeline wouldn't work though. People wouldn't recognise you from the show because the show wouldn't broadcast for long after they shoot it. I guess people in the second season could recognise you from the first one, which would be airing around the time they're shooting the second one, or something.

Anyways, sure there are some live-in relationships, but there are relationships with the people they don't live with, as well. Seems like it would require more cameras to show poly networks where every partner has their own place.
 
Episode August 9th 2012

The sad thing in this weeks episode was the Poly Potluck seemed to only be attended by white / 30 something / stereotyped people. Where were the people of color or the fat handicapped people of which I am one. I use the word fat only because I'm 6'6" and 324lbs but can only stand for 10 to 15 minutes at one time so usually not that tall. Probably the producers had the final say on those invited, which I found sad :(

Just Me,
Tim
 
I do agree that it is a challenge to find people who are really ok with having cameras follow them in their most intimate relationships AND be entertaining enough to capture and maintain an audience. So for these reasons I absolutely get it. However it makes it a little difficult for someone in my situation to explain my particular circumstances since it is not like those shown on TV. I do not live with my other partner and we do not ALL have sex with each other. But we are just as committed as the live-ins.

I'm just happy that its out there and people are talking about it!
 
I have now watched all the episodes (they were on my dvr). All I can say is Holy Sex! I was going to watch the show with my husband but decided to watch it on my own first and I am kinda of glad I did. Being new to poly, I don't want him to think that it is all about sex. While the show does have some parts to it that are great, I am just afraid he is just going to zone right into everyone having sex with everyone.

So I enjoy the show all in all but I don't think it fully shows poly or at least what I feel poly is...

but as most of you have said... sex sells!
 
Now, now, everyone does not have sex with everyone. The females have sex with everyone. The males don't have sex with one another.

That's one thing that annoys me a bit. There is already a stereotype that all poly females are bi and none of the males are. Hopefully we'll keep getting shows about real families, and the families will keep being different and unique so that the public doesn't generalise as much.
 
I agree

Now, now, everyone does not have sex with everyone. The females have sex with everyone. The males don't have sex with one another.

That's one thing that annoys me a bit. There is already a stereotype that all poly females are bi and none of the males are. Hopefully we'll keep getting shows about real families, and the families will keep being different and unique so that the public doesn't generalise as much.

It is becoming a stereotype. However, I agree with you that hopefully there are different groups that show the difference. I think that Tahl is bi though.
My wonderful husband is. We hope to find another bi poly couple :)
 
Now, now, everyone does not have sex with everyone. The females have sex with everyone. The males don't have sex with one another.

That's one thing that annoys me a bit. There is already a stereotype that all poly females are bi and none of the males are. Hopefully we'll keep getting shows about real families, and the families will keep being different and unique so that the public doesn't generalise as much.


Ok almost everyone has sex! :)

And I agree that it does sterotype.
 
I can understand that this show may not be realistic, but this is the FIRST time that I have ever been exposed to this idea, so I am pretty stoked about the whole thing. I ended a four year lesbian relationship last year when I fell in-love with my husband, who is very open sexually, and has told me that I could have lesbian relationships outside of our marriage. So finding this show on tv was like "WOW! I never knew." So this is something that I have been thinking about over the last few weeks, and I've joined this forum-So maybe this show that doesn't depict the "real" poly lifestyle will actually generate interest!
 
Oh, it does depict real poly lifestyles. Those of the people on the show :) But just like with monogamy, there is a lot of variety. One show cannot get across all of the variety.
That's why I don't think I would really change the show, my wish is for more, different shows. Different people, different situations. The more variety will be shown, the less people will think in terms of "a normal/average poly relationship..." because there isn't such a thing!

The people in the show are real, their situations are real, and it's good that people get to see them. I want more shows like this, and I'm hoping that they won't all follow the same model, so that the general public understands that neither do poly relationships.
 
There is already a stereotype that all poly females are bi and none of the males are.

I'm used to that being the stereotype for swingers (where it also isn't true). In my poly circle, people are often assumed to be bi until proven otherwise. Quite a few bi males, though some are straight or gay, just as some of the women are.
 
Why not Michael and Tahl?

I understand that Michael said on the show that he was "straight", but I don't understand how in the heat of the moment if all 4 are on the same bed, why Michael and Tahl don't consummate? I understand that he is "straight" and doesn't look for other men, but when you're just doing what feels good and comes naturally with someone you love, I don't understand why it doesn't just happen? I mean, the women sure get it on with each other, so they aren't homophobes. Why not the men? Is is because that's too racy for T.V.? Or is it because they don't generally share a bed as a foursome. They just do that for the TV cameras? They normally just wife swap and sleep in separate chambers? I don't understand. I mean, it doesn't even have to be sex. The guys could just find it pleasurable to rub against each other. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to be gay to enjoy the touch of someone you love. If all 4 share the same bed, then it would be inevitable that male would rub against male, even if by accident. They do love each other. Michael, Tahl, or anyone else who has a similar situation, please explain it to me.

Thanks,
Confused.
 
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