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Old 12-30-2011, 01:26 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Default What kind of Websites would you recommend and why?

As an attempt to direct our viewers and readers to come here to find information I am hoping that people will fill this sticky with not only their favourite books but their favourite websites also. That way we can direct people here for a wide range of information on what is out there for them to find support, info and different perspectives on poly.

Please tell us what your favourite sites are and why? thanks!
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Old 01-02-2012, 09:56 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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If the Buddha Dated
This is a book I've found helpful, read several times over the last 7 years, and shared with with a lot of people I've cared about. It is not actively about poly at all (and indeed, does seem to be geared towards finding "the one", but I've found it good for dealing with dating "the ones"), but is at least not slanted towards heterosexual relationships. It has helped remind me of the importance of being authentic and true to myself when forming new relationships.

I suppose I'll say a bit about why I think this is a useful book. For me, I think this is great for those of us who have occasions of worry or insecurity (those ones stemming from "no-good-reason") within a relationship, and I often open to anywhere randomly and find some perspective that calms me right down.

Luckily I haven't had much of this other stuff in my life, but it seems to have lots of helpful reflections I'd take for people who have trouble finding healthy relationships or are finding themselves unsure if a partner is a good fit or not. It's got good advice on how to figure out where to draw personal boundaries for yourself, if you find you have conflicted feelings about defining them with partners/etc.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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Old 01-02-2012, 05:26 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Not sure this will help but I have a copy of The Ethical Slut that's no longer needed so if anyone wants I can forward it to them. It was a good read but I found it didn't really have what I was looking for in our situation. Most of the books I've found useful are general relationship books rather than poly specific.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:57 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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I have another book recommendation that I heard of on another poly forum. I think it would be handy for any relationship that is struggling with communication at all, though due to it's nature probably best for heterosexual ones.

"How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words" by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny.

I think if I had read it a few years ago it would've smoothed a lot of the road to our way back to re-opening our relationship. My husband actually read it without me asking it and found it helpful and accurate, which rarely happens, so I was extra impressed. I even feel like we are both a lot less prone to taking things personally since I got it a month ago, which has introduced a new layer of mellowness to our relationship that I really like.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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Old 01-18-2012, 10:36 PM
jasminegld jasminegld is offline
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Default Poly / Mono mixed relationship resources

Originally Posted by rubyfish View Post
...because I'm the poly one ... I'm looking for books to help my husband understand how I feel and what I want.
There are a couple of specialty email lists:

PolyMono Polyamorous/Monogamous Support
"This is a support group for monogamous people in a committed relationship with someone who is polyamorous."

livingpolymono Polyamorists with Monogamous Partners
"This list supports all people concerned with the challenges of poly/mono relating. However, it exists primarily to provide support to polyamorous people with monogamous partners."
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Old 01-19-2012, 05:21 AM
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How to be An Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo

This book talks about practical ways to develop mature, adult relationships both working with yourself and how you interact with others. I really enjoy his perspective.
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Old 01-19-2012, 10:04 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Two books I have found helpful of late, to get through difficult times:

The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook
by Daphne Rose Kingma

Why Your Life Sucks: and What You Can Do About It
by Alan H. Cohen
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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Old 01-23-2012, 05:12 PM
thetasignmom thetasignmom is offline
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I love Pagan Polyamory: Building a Tribe of Hearts I think that is a great and easy read. There are really useful things "to do" and I love the way the chapters are organised.

While this (obviously!) a book for pagans, there is info in it about what Kaldera refers to as the "demons of polyamory" that would be helpful for any poly peson to read as well as for mono partners who are struggling.
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Old 02-28-2012, 04:02 AM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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By request, I'm copying some recommendations here that I posted elsewhere.

I've also read Pagan Polyamory by Raven Kaldera, and enjoyed it. I found it fairly gentle to a hesitant, frightened newbie.

I thought that everyone on the internet had seen (and quoted) this site, but I didn't see it here, so Franklin Veaux's site at http://www.xeromag.com/franklin.html has a lot of helpful articles. He also has a site called More Than Two.

I really enjoy reading Polyamorous Misanthrope columns. She's got some great common sense answers to polyamorous questions. http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/

There is a lot of information about polyamory in the news here http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ and usually at least one reference to a book worth reading. I think I actually saw this link already in this thread, but I find an enormous amount of reading at Alan's site, so I'll second it.

I *think* I also saw http://www.lovemore.com/ in here somewhere, but I can't quite remember, so I'm putting it in again. I'm not as familiar with this site, but it seems quite kind but helpful.
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Old 03-06-2012, 12:50 AM
polypenguin polypenguin is offline
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if someone has already posted this book, my sincere apologies. I didn't really want to look through 11 pages of posts merely to find out.

my favorite book on polyamory is "polyamory: roadmaps for the clueless and hopeful," it is the best book on down to earth problems and benefits you will encounter. The author is anthony ravenscroft.
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