I grew up in a very conservative, strict household, with a father who kept my mother and us kids firmly under his thumb. Every day from the age of ten or so, I wished my parents would split up.
I'm not claiming I was in the majority, however if there are multiple instances of cheating and/or ongoing tension and unhappiness in the household, that is NOT a great situation in which to raise children. Kids KNOW and will either blame themselves or develop long-standing resentment towards their parent/s.
My ex husband and I had a secure decades-long marriage, but when we DID eventually grow apart and start to date other people (in my case, more than one person) we did ensure our, by-then almost grown kids had the necessary emotional resources and were otherwise stable, before making our new arrangement permanent and announcing our individual relationship situations.
I concede it's not always practical or possible to do it this way where one or both parents may already identify as polyamorous, or have realised/admitted they're gay in a straight union; the marriage is extremely troubled... yet the kids are still quite young. In such cases, waiting until the children are grown, at college or out of the house is often unrealistic and means that the parents may have many years before they can seek happiness and fulfilment outside the original couple/nuclear family unit... which may fuel further frustration, depression and/or cheating behaviours.
So what to do? It is possible, if not ideal, to separate amicably and co-parent WELL, if both parents are committed to doing so. A lot depends on the ages of the kids, their dispositions and that of the parents, and if there are any complicating factors such as disabilities, developmental disorders or mental health issues that need to be factored into the ongoing care of either the children or parents concerned.
I'm not claiming I was in the majority, however if there are multiple instances of cheating and/or ongoing tension and unhappiness in the household, that is NOT a great situation in which to raise children. Kids KNOW and will either blame themselves or develop long-standing resentment towards their parent/s.
My ex husband and I had a secure decades-long marriage, but when we DID eventually grow apart and start to date other people (in my case, more than one person) we did ensure our, by-then almost grown kids had the necessary emotional resources and were otherwise stable, before making our new arrangement permanent and announcing our individual relationship situations.
I concede it's not always practical or possible to do it this way where one or both parents may already identify as polyamorous, or have realised/admitted they're gay in a straight union; the marriage is extremely troubled... yet the kids are still quite young. In such cases, waiting until the children are grown, at college or out of the house is often unrealistic and means that the parents may have many years before they can seek happiness and fulfilment outside the original couple/nuclear family unit... which may fuel further frustration, depression and/or cheating behaviours.
So what to do? It is possible, if not ideal, to separate amicably and co-parent WELL, if both parents are committed to doing so. A lot depends on the ages of the kids, their dispositions and that of the parents, and if there are any complicating factors such as disabilities, developmental disorders or mental health issues that need to be factored into the ongoing care of either the children or parents concerned.