lafeelicite
New member
Hello guys!
I would really appreciate your advices here, even if it is not about polyamory itself but nonmonogamy.
My boyfriend and I had several talks during the past year about opening up. He knows I have a drive for that and he can see himself also benefit from it. But we never came to any agreement and boundaries. I just know and acknowledged that he doesn't want to hear about polyamory if I fall for someone. He will not agree to that. Fair enough, since I realized I might develop feelings for people but then choose not to be in love relationship with them. Love is infinate but my time is not.
Last conversation was begining of january and we didn't have a talk on it since. We agreed we want to try to open but then we said we still to discuss details. Specially I asked him if he wants to know what I am doing and he said he will think about it (I, myself, would feel more confortable in a DADT at the begining I think).
Also, we are half of the week in LDR since a few months and we struggle adjusting to that. We don't have deep talks when we are far and when we are together, it seems that we are pretty unefficient in our communication.
In particular, it feels like I am always the one bringing subjects on the table, then he gets defensive, I get hurt / sensitive and we can talk for hours with no solution / agreement.
That's why i didn't raise the subject of opening our relationship lately.
I had sex with someone this afternoon. I chose to have sex with this guy, that I knew from before and was a perfect match: lives far, i am not falling for him, he is not for me, and he has kinks matching mine.
Now I have to come clean. And I hate that my best choice was not to talk about it before (the guy was passing by my region and it all was decided in the morning for this afternoon - It would have been horrible to talk about that in the middle of the day).
I don't know what to say. I don't really feel guilty since I have tried to have a talk and a clear answer from my boyfriend since so many months. But I am afraid he feels betrailed. Specially if I wait to see him in person to tell him (that means, in two days).
Thanks in advance for any light,
Fée
I would really appreciate your advices here, even if it is not about polyamory itself but nonmonogamy.
My boyfriend and I had several talks during the past year about opening up. He knows I have a drive for that and he can see himself also benefit from it. But we never came to any agreement and boundaries. I just know and acknowledged that he doesn't want to hear about polyamory if I fall for someone. He will not agree to that. Fair enough, since I realized I might develop feelings for people but then choose not to be in love relationship with them. Love is infinate but my time is not.
Last conversation was begining of january and we didn't have a talk on it since. We agreed we want to try to open but then we said we still to discuss details. Specially I asked him if he wants to know what I am doing and he said he will think about it (I, myself, would feel more confortable in a DADT at the begining I think).
Also, we are half of the week in LDR since a few months and we struggle adjusting to that. We don't have deep talks when we are far and when we are together, it seems that we are pretty unefficient in our communication.
In particular, it feels like I am always the one bringing subjects on the table, then he gets defensive, I get hurt / sensitive and we can talk for hours with no solution / agreement.
That's why i didn't raise the subject of opening our relationship lately.
I had sex with someone this afternoon. I chose to have sex with this guy, that I knew from before and was a perfect match: lives far, i am not falling for him, he is not for me, and he has kinks matching mine.
Now I have to come clean. And I hate that my best choice was not to talk about it before (the guy was passing by my region and it all was decided in the morning for this afternoon - It would have been horrible to talk about that in the middle of the day).
I don't know what to say. I don't really feel guilty since I have tried to have a talk and a clear answer from my boyfriend since so many months. But I am afraid he feels betrailed. Specially if I wait to see him in person to tell him (that means, in two days).
Thanks in advance for any light,
Fée