Hello all! I am a 30 year old lesbian in a 3+ year relationship with another 30-something woman. We aren't married, but have always considered this to be a forever thing.
My partner recently confessed to me, a little over two months ago, that she had developed "a crush" on one of her coworkers, and that they had made out a few times. She was extremely upset and assumed I would break up with her. I was less than thrilled that she had cheated, but told her I thought it was normal to have crushes on other people along the line. In subsequent days and weeks, we started to talk about having an open relationship, since it was clear she was going to have trouble "giving up" this other woman. I've been at least open to the idea of wading into poly waters since these conversations began, and was the one who brought it up.
Anyway, blah blah blah, with my blessing, my partner is now dating and sleeping with her coworker, who knows I approve. The sticking point is that my partner has a lot of preconceived notions that open relationships can't work. As a result, she is freaking out. She acknowledges that she likes being with both of us, but she's having trouble accepting that it is okay to feel that way. According to her, even though she knows that she and I love each other, she is struggling to wrap her mind around the idea that anyone can have a healthy relationship that is not strictly monogamous.
Aside from dealing with my partner's anxiety, I've found this to be kind of fun. I like hearing about their exploits, I like hanging out with the other woman, and the arrangement has improved our sex life. At the moment, I don't have any personal interest in dating anyone else, but I might be interested if the right person came along.
Any suggestions on how to help my partner chill out and enjoy the situation? Is there hope that we can overcome her anxiety? She is half-kidding about breaking up with both of us and never dating again.
My partner recently confessed to me, a little over two months ago, that she had developed "a crush" on one of her coworkers, and that they had made out a few times. She was extremely upset and assumed I would break up with her. I was less than thrilled that she had cheated, but told her I thought it was normal to have crushes on other people along the line. In subsequent days and weeks, we started to talk about having an open relationship, since it was clear she was going to have trouble "giving up" this other woman. I've been at least open to the idea of wading into poly waters since these conversations began, and was the one who brought it up.
Anyway, blah blah blah, with my blessing, my partner is now dating and sleeping with her coworker, who knows I approve. The sticking point is that my partner has a lot of preconceived notions that open relationships can't work. As a result, she is freaking out. She acknowledges that she likes being with both of us, but she's having trouble accepting that it is okay to feel that way. According to her, even though she knows that she and I love each other, she is struggling to wrap her mind around the idea that anyone can have a healthy relationship that is not strictly monogamous.
Aside from dealing with my partner's anxiety, I've found this to be kind of fun. I like hearing about their exploits, I like hanging out with the other woman, and the arrangement has improved our sex life. At the moment, I don't have any personal interest in dating anyone else, but I might be interested if the right person came along.
Any suggestions on how to help my partner chill out and enjoy the situation? Is there hope that we can overcome her anxiety? She is half-kidding about breaking up with both of us and never dating again.