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Old 08-20-2015, 07:51 AM
Gria2004 Gria2004 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 70
Default Trip that could bond us closer

Hi I need advice. Some back story. I just started seeing this triad. I see more of him and the live in girlfriend. Then wife. They asked me to go to Vegas with them everything paid for 10 days but said I had to turn them down because there was no one there to fill In for me at work for that long because they need to hire more people. It would really done so much for this triad that I'm see. Because of it being personal and business they were busy before and after so I haven't seen them alone in about a month sexual to bond more deeply. Just a few quick walks with girlfriend who needed a friend to talk to. We don't play alone together. It would been great photography opportunity for me as well.

They also asked me if I go with them on a over night trip to shoot photos which would be personal and professional. I had to yes a month and half before the schedule is out because they would have had to find someone else to work with asp as someone dropped out for medical. It is a big step for us because I had to book the room as there are few rooms with one king bed. It's only him, girlfriend and me going. It would be a big step and bring us so much closer that I could not say no. It wod be the first time spending the night with them. We play it never spend the night. I said no once before. I only work four days a week and get three off any so I didn't think asking for my three to bee off in a row would be so bad. Because they have to find someone ever week to work my three days off. I never ask off. Now I'm stressing hard core because I might not get those day off. The schedule is not out yet and would only be for two weeks. I need to know about the weekend after.

I could not tell my boss or manger about how this could change things greatly with the people I'm with and be good for me professional. They don't know about them and I don't think they understand. I really need this bonding time as life has been super busy and stressed for us in August. Not sure what do?
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Old 08-20-2015, 10:10 AM
Evie Evie is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 610

I don't know where you are in the world, but generally bosses don't need to know why someone is applying for time off. If you haven't applied for time off before then that would indicate you probably have leave owing to you. Tell your boss you would like to apply for that time off. If he asks why, just tell him you have an offer to travel out of town that weekend. If he asks who with, just say a friend. Even that is more information that most countries employment law stipulates.

As you've said the biggest barrier is that work is currently understaffed. But if you don't ask, you don't get. So ask. And if you get the leave approved, awesome.

Take this opportunity to read your employment contract.
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Old 08-20-2015, 12:54 PM
Gria2004 Gria2004 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 70
Default Replay to evie

I did ask for that time a month and half ago they said put it in Calendar so I did then when I left a note asking for these days off again when I thought they make schudeal they said we will see what we can do. They asked someone to work and she said no she is out of town too.

I had to book hotel or rooms would be taken, I had tell them a month and half ago. Not only will we bond but I'm getting paid more then my other job for a few hour photo shoot.
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Old 08-20-2015, 03:37 PM
LizziE LizziE is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Frosty Northeast
Posts: 297

I think it would be reasonable for you, this time, to say "Hey boss, I booked a hotel room already for this trip, so I definitely need these days off". If the other girl got to call "dilbs" on the time off last time, then saying something early and letting them know that you have a hotel room booked and that you MUST have this time off would be a good way to make sure you get it.

Good luck with your trip and the bonding! I hope it gives you a lot of enjoyment and helps build your relationships.

Liz: cis female, 33, bi. life partner Jonathan, also dating Issi
Jonathan: cis male, 30, bi. life partner Liz

Issi: queer, 32, dating Liz, married to Jared
Jared: cis male, 33, straight, married to Issi, formerly dated (and still good friends with) Liz.
Rachel: cis female, 32, bi, life partner Rob, former non-sexual potential life partner to Liz (still good friends)
Lora: cis female, 27, bi, ex-partner of Jon

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Old 08-21-2015, 10:01 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 16,080

Hi Gria2004,

It sounds like your point of contention here is your employer. They need to hire more people and they should have done that by now. If your boss says you absolutely can't have those days off, then you have a difficult choice to make: your job or the trip. What's your work environment like? Is this a job you'd want to lose, is it a job you can afford to lose? If not, then I guess you'll have to do whatever your boss tells you to do.

Of course LizziE is right when she says you should tell your boss you *must* have this time off ... even if the best you can do is bluff ...

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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advice needed, bonding, trip

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