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  #1  
Old 06-06-2017, 06:02 AM
ALorenaE ALorenaE is offline
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Default Polyfidely V looking for a 4th partner

Hello,

I am in a polyfidelitous relationship where I am the point of a MFM V. One of my partners is seeking a woman who is more sexually compatible to him than I am. I am encouraging him in this. He is seeking someone who will commit to the family. We have kids, cats, and need someone who doesn't drink or smoke. We are in West Michigan and have a home of our own. One of our kids is in school so we are not looking to relocate.

I am feeling rather awkward about posting this.

I am also on here looking for people to connect to as friends because finding support in this area seems near impossible. If you know of any gatherings in the poly community that would be amiable to a polyfi person, or areas to meet mono people who would be OK with being in a family with multiple adults, I'm all ears.

Thank you.
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Old 06-06-2017, 08:19 AM
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Shaya Shaya is offline
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Hi ALorena,

welcome to the forums. I saw your introduction in the personal summaries section.

I'm relatively new to the forum myself and I don't have much in the way of advice. If you would like specific advice on issues, the most common place people post their questions is in the poly relationships corner as this place would have the most people reading.

If your partner is looking for someone, he would have better luck looking himself, since I feel most people want to connect to a person, rather than to the setup you're describing.

If you're looking for friends in the area, sometimes a facebook search, meetup.com, ok cupid, or if you're into it, fetlife may all be reasonable places to search in addition to your post here.

Good luck, and welcome to the forums,
shaya.
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  #3  
Old 06-06-2017, 04:10 PM
ALorenaE ALorenaE is offline
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My first partner is looking for himself on quite a few different sites. We are in a relatively conservative area, though, and finding anyone is difficult, even with a large search radius. We have found a few friends who are already in multiple partner relationships and they are supportive, but finding people in an area where being out can be very tricky is proving...well, tricky. Its a rough road right now, but I had a long conversation with him last night and I think we made progress into figuring out how we want to be. Lots of tough conversations, but they seem to be working forward, so that's all I ask, really.
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Old 06-06-2017, 06:02 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi ALorenaE,

Here are some links you can try, to look for people ...
I think Michigan has a poly group ... google "Michigan polyamory" and see what turns up.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #5  
Old 06-06-2017, 06:17 PM
ALorenaE ALorenaE is offline
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Thank you for the suggestions! I've been to a few different places on facebook and he's on quite a few sites, but there are some new ones on here, too. I appreciate the new directions in which to look
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Old 06-07-2017, 11:04 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Glad if I could help.
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  #7  
Old 07-01-2017, 12:46 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ALorenaE View Post
Hello,

I am in a polyfidelitous relationship where I am the point of a MFM V. One of my partners is seeking a woman who is more sexually compatible to him than I am.
If one of you is seeking another partner, you are technically not "polyfi." I think you are open to adding one more partner who is "more sexually compatible" to one of your partners, than you are. Whatever that means. Frequency of sex? Type of sex? Kink?

I guess once you find this person, your partner will expect her to only have him as a partner, even though he will then have 2 female partners. And she must be "committed" to your family, to your kids, etc. This is a lot to ask. Perhaps you are finding it an almost impossible dream. It can take many years to find someone, so I wish you patience and I wish you well.

Quote:
I am encouraging him in this. He is seeking someone who will commit to the family. We have kids, cats, and need someone who doesn't drink or smoke. We are in West Michigan and have a home of our own. One of our kids is in school so we are not looking to relocate.

I am also on here looking for people to connect to as friends because finding support in this area seems near impossible. If you know of any gatherings in the poly community that would be amiable to a polyfi person, or areas to meet mono people who would be OK with being in a family with multiple adults, I'm all ears.
The best way to make friends here is to read other threads, and post comments on them. Perhaps you'll start to PM some of them and create a deeper friendship.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 63), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
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Old 07-01-2017, 03:16 PM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Hello all. This is a reminder that the Dating and Friendships forum is not intended for discussions or advice. If you do not wish date or befriend the Original Poster of a thread in this section then please do not reply to it.
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  #9  
Old 07-02-2017, 12:07 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emm View Post
Hello all. This is a reminder that the Dating and Friendships forum is not intended for discussions or advice. If you do not wish date or befriend the Original Poster of a thread in this section then please do not reply to it.
I understand that, Emm, but this seems like a different kind of "looking" post. So I broke the rule since I am compassionate and she seemed so confused.

I guess I did mean to befriend her.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 63), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013

Last edited by Magdlyn; 07-02-2017 at 12:10 AM.
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