Today my boss (the owner of the business where I work) sat down and talked with me about upcoming vacations, personnel issues, and stuff like that. Then she asked me how I thought things were going since my former manager left the company (and no one has been hired to replace her). I have been running our location most of the time since then. I gave her some feedback, and she basically told me she is very happy with my work - which felt great because my review at the end of last year really sucked!
Well, maybe I am being too hard on myself but I did not get solid praise in every area at that review and it really stung. Most of my responsibilities were scaled back because it seemed that I was flailing in one particular area - but then I was given more responsibilities in another area, so it was confusing. At the time, my manager was still there and I had asked her to give me more guidance before she left, but then she became a basket case about leaving and everyone was upset that she was going, so my concerns were kind of lost in all of that.
Anyway, I have just been focusing on doing my best. I am very critical of myself, but I knew that I'd improved my performance in the area that was problematic for me previously -- but it was very affirming to hear her tell me that she saw it, too. I really like working there, and for my boss, even when it is stressful, because it does keep me on my toes and always striving to improve myself. Work relationships can be just as important as any other relationships, so I am glad I fit in someplace where people like and appreciate me. Although I do have days where I wish I could just sleep in and not have to show up anywhere, LOL.
Near the end of our conversation today, I officially let her know that I'd like to be considered for the manager position and that I want to keep working towards improving my skills and confidence to be able to do that. She said she saw no reason why I couldn't be the manager when I felt more ready, because I've been handling the management tasks at this location and she thinks that I see things about the business in a way very similar to hers, and she likes that. She didn't actually offer me the position, though I didn't think she would. I still need to work on my confidence. Plus she is probably going to go as long as possible without having to pay a manager's salary since business has not been as good as it was last year. I can totally understand that. We are a small company and every dollar counts. Although I am sure if she offered me the position, my salary wouldn't be anywhere near what the previous manager was making, because I'm a newbie at it and the old manager was there for many years.
Before I found this job, I had come terrifyingly close to being homeless. I never want to be in that dire of a situation again, so I just keep going and am thankful every day that I have this job, can pay my bills, and keep a roof over my head. The fact that I am acknowledged and appreciated, and considered an important part of the team is icing on the cake.
So, feeling tired but pretty good right now.