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  #1201  
Old 04-19-2017, 09:59 PM
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GirlFromTexlahoma GirlFromTexlahoma is offline
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Yeah this is one situation where even I can't feel bad about ghosting

It is shit like this that makes me hesitant about getting excited about guys too soon... Well, shit like this, and shit like going all gaga for guys like Daredevil who are guaranteed to make my life complicated. But I am really enjoying talking to the guy I'm supposed to meet next week! Being open to guys in their late 40s/early 50s has definitely broadened my okc options.
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  #1202  
Old 04-21-2017, 01:22 AM
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GirlFromTexlahoma GirlFromTexlahoma is offline
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Frustrated tonight ... I never see Andy anymore. I mean, I see him - I see him working and I see him sleeping. That's it. And he doesn't do those things on any kind of a predictable schedule, either, I have no idea if I'll go for a run and come home to him asleep or on a conference call.

I think this is the first time in ... years... that I've felt like I'm not getting enough Andy. It sucks, big time.

I did a thing, though. I canceled the long weekend with Andy and D. I may plan another weekend away with just me and Andy (if he's ever around, sigh) but I just... I could not handle being so deprived of my husband and then having to share our big weekend trip with someone else, even my friend.
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  #1203  
Old 04-21-2017, 11:08 AM
Tinwen Tinwen is offline
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Good that you could make a decision about cancelling.

Did you find a way to talk to Andy already? You have to tell him that this can't be going on indefinitelly.
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  #1204  
Old 04-21-2017, 03:22 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlFromTexlahoma View Post
Frustrated tonight ... I never see Andy anymore. I mean, I see him - I see him working and I see him sleeping. That's it. And he doesn't do those things on any kind of a predictable schedule, either, I have no idea if I'll go for a run and come home to him asleep or on a conference call.

I think this is the first time in ... years... that I've felt like I'm not getting enough Andy. It sucks, big time.

I did a thing, though. I canceled the long weekend with Andy and D. I may plan another weekend away with just me and Andy (if he's ever around, sigh) but I just... I could not handle being so deprived of my husband and then having to share our big weekend trip with someone else, even my friend.
Good for you! Great idea to just cancel the whole thing and then get away with Andy alone later. Brilliant!

I hope his schedule eases up soon! I remember those days of when my ex h had crunch time and slept at the office sometimes, or was working and also going to school nights, and doing homework on weekends. And we had kids! I was so drained. I never got a break. Things eased up in our mid 40s.
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  #1205  
Old 04-21-2017, 06:20 PM
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GirlFromTexlahoma GirlFromTexlahoma is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinwen View Post
Did you find a way to talk to Andy already? You have to tell him that this can't be going on indefinitelly.
We did talk some last night.

What happened right before I wrote that post was that I went for a run, got home at 7:30 and was sooooo excited to find Andy just getting home. I took the quickest shower ever and - he was passed out on the sofa in the family room when I was done So I ended up eating dinner alone, watching tv with the dogs in the rec room upstairs so we didn't wake him.

Andy got up around ten pm and apologized. He said he has realized that his old boss was able to do this job and still have a life because old boss had Andy - a trusted second in command. Someone he could delegate shit to without worrying that they'd screw up. Someone who could stand in for him when he needed to be in two places at once. So Andy is going to try and find someone to be his right hand man (or woman).

It's hard, though, he needs someone he trusts completely, not just in a "won't screw me over" way but also in terms of ability. A person he could, say, send to Europe on client visits and trust that they will do as good a job as he would. There are a couple of people who worked for him in the past - they've left the company, because Andy is a great mentor and they're climbing their own ladders now - but he's going to reach out and see if they'd come back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post

I hope his schedule eases up soon! I remember those days of when my ex h had crunch time and slept at the office sometimes, or was working and also going to school nights, and doing homework on weekends. And we had kids! I was so drained. I never got a break. Things eased up in our mid 40s.
I hope things ease up, but ... Steph is in her early 50s and a couple of notches higher than Andy at their company, and she's even more swamped than he is She's actually been trying to get Andy to leave his current role and be her right hand man!!!!

There is this whole stereotype of executives just practicing their golf swing all day while the underlings slave away - but I remember, as a kid, having friends whose dads were bigwigs at work, and how they'd complain that they never saw their fathers. I don't want that life, money isn't worth it, I don't want to only see my husband on our fancy vacations. Especially because he'd just spend said vacation glued to his phone, working.
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  #1206  
Old 04-21-2017, 08:16 PM
powerpuffgrl1969 powerpuffgrl1969 is offline
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It might be hard for Andy to be willing to step back a bit, though. It's tempting not to resist the lure of upper mobility.
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  #1207  
Old 04-23-2017, 01:57 AM
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GirlFromTexlahoma GirlFromTexlahoma is offline
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Originally Posted by powerpuffgrl1969 View Post
It might be hard for Andy to be willing to step back a bit, though. It's tempting not to resist the lure of upper mobility.
Very true. I do this calculation of hours+stress vs money, and think, shit, the best balance of that was several promotions ago. But there's this other aspect for him. Not *power* exactly, but - status. Respect, recognition, prestige, those things. And the chance to do things his way... Being able to say, I need more senior consultants, and just create those jobs, hire whomever he wants, without having to beg someone for approval... That's huge to him. I'm glad he has Steph, who gets that stuff, because I have happily opted out of the competitive career thing. There isn't much jockeying for position or politics in social work, outside of academia, one of the things I love about my job.

In "poly news", I finally had to bite the bullet and tell Daredevil I wasn't interested in a relationship. He was disappointed but understood (his words). I feel - relief, mostly. A bit of disappointment in myself, but at least I recognized the "not in a place to handle this relationship" before jumping into it.

I'm still chatting with Mr. Next Week, trying not to get my hopes up too much but he seems very cool.
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